InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I want u around 4 a long time."

king_quentin (king_quentin) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-02-22 11:46:00

Entry tags:

brunnhilde / valkyrie (mcu), eliot waugh, elsa bloodstone (616), jason todd / red hood (au), john murphy, julia wicker, kady orloff-diaz, kylo ren / ben solo, margo hanson, penny adiyodi, princess allura, quentin coldwater

I have so many regrets and am possibly dying. Could be a temporary feeling. Maybe not.

Added in later

[Brakebills + Kylo]

So we’re leaving Steve alone, okay? Okay.

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	Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Hey. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 04:23 am UTC (link)
	Are you all right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 04:26 am UTC (link)
	Sure. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 04:38 am UTC (link)
	Q told me a bit. I know I've been sort of [...] in my own head and shit, and I think I've missed some things, but I think I have the basics. What do you need? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 04:45 am UTC (link)
	~~Great.~~ You don't need to worry about me right now, Ky. I dug this hole. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, and I've dug a lot of my own, but you've never let me sit there alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 04:49 am UTC (link)
	I should have stayed quiet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 04:52 am UTC (link)
	Maybe, although I haven't gotten the impression that Steve has been particularly great handling any of this either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 05:14 am UTC (link)
	I didn't think he was going to talk to Quentin anymore when I wrote him. And by the time I realized, we were too far in. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 05:22 am UTC (link)
	Is it salvageable? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 05:23 am UTC (link)
	My conversation with Steve, Quentin's conversation with Steve, or Quentin's outlook towards me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 05:28 am UTC (link)
	One thing at a time, El. Which one are you most worried about? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 05:29 am UTC (link)
	The last one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 05:39 am UTC (link)
	You and Quentin are friends and you've been through a hundred things together. He and Steve were a possibility that hadn't firmed into a certainty. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 05:43 am UTC (link)
	I know and I am reminding myself of that. I just am frustrated. It'll be fine. I just need to step back for a while, I think. And I don't think I should try to salvage my conversation with Steve. I think I need to leave it be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 05:47 am UTC (link)
	We have a few more days of Middle Earth. Perhaps we should leave the devices alone for a bit. It might do us both good. I'm not good with relationship stuff, El. But I think if that's what you think, that might be good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 05:53 am UTC (link)
	I can't. I need to have mine with me, but I can ignore everyone else. [...] Do you really want to go away from the ship the rest of the time? The only way to salvage the conversation would be to admit I'm wrong. I don't feel wrong. [...] I could be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky behindthemask 2018-02-23 05:58 am UTC (link)
	Do you want to go back? ~~i just can't~~ If you want to go back, we [...] we could go back. We likely won't be here again though. You might feel better in the morning, or have more clarity. But if you don't feel that you are wrong, it feels wrong to admit it, just to salvage things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	El+Ky highkingeliot 2018-02-23 06:09 am UTC (link)
	No, we won't be here again, I think. I don't have any emotional attachment to Middle Earth, though, so I won't be disappointed in us going back if we do. [...] Is prolonging the inevitable going to help? I might. [...] Tell me what you think. Other than it was ill advised to speak at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

El+Ky

behindthemask
2018-02-23 06:22 am UTC (link)

If we go back, I'm staying in the room. I just can't face the possibility of seeing him right now [...] I know it makes me a coward, but I doubt he wants to see me either.

I think time always helps. I feel better tonight than last night. It hasn't solved anything and nothing is fixed, but I don't feel as [...] spiraling as I did.

I think there are possibly some pieces I am still missing, but if he told Quentin that he was using him, that doesn't sound at all like Q.

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El+Ky

highkingeliot
2018-02-23 06:28 am UTC (link)

I would never call you a coward, Ky. I'm fine with us spending the rest of the time off ship until we absolutely have to. I just know it is going to be hard regardless and I worry the dread will make it worse. [...] Leia thinks he is going to want to see you.

I'm glad you feel better tonight. It can't be fixed, necessarily, but it can be addressed when you are ready and then we can figure out what the new normal is.

He did. Along with how he felt like he was 'preying' on Quentin and Quentin is too sweet. But he asked for the truth and Quentin told him he has feelings, because he's Q so of course he does, and that is when Steve said they are both using each other.

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El+Ky

behindthemask
2018-02-23 06:41 am UTC (link)

She also seems to have suddenly learned from her mistakes in not telling me about Grandfather, and is promoting truthfulness and transparency in everything. [...] She can't know that. I feel as if everything I said was completely discarded. Her answer is just to face him and then I'll have peace, which sounds almost inane enough to be from Luke's mouth.

These sound like his issues. What Quentin told me earlier, sounded like Quentin told him the truth and he couldn't handle that. Someone who can't handle the truth of you - it can't go anywhere.

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