InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm Team EDWARD!"

king_quentin (king_quentin) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-02-22 11:46:00

Entry tags:

brunnhilde / valkyrie (mcu), eliot waugh, elsa bloodstone (616), jason todd / red hood (au), john murphy, julia wicker, kady orloff-diaz, kylo ren / ben solo, margo hanson, penny adiyodi, princess allura, quentin coldwater

I have so many regrets and am possibly dying. Could be a temporary feeling. Maybe not.

Added in later

[Brakebills + Kylo]

So we’re leaving Steve alone, okay? Okay.

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Steve/Q

king_quentin
2018-02-22 09:29 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, but I also have sway over things.

I just talked to them about our conversation and at that point I was a bit more focused on the feeling of the using each other comment. None of the others will bother you. I told them I did it to myself. I’m a fucking mess all the time and I don’t know what I’m doing.

And I tried not to feel anything because you didn’t want to. You said you didn’t want to. So I tried to stop and then I don’t know. I hoped it would go away, but it didn’t. And I said I liked you when I asked you out on a date. So idk. I don’t know what to say.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q rogerthat 2018-02-22 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Even if we're not together romantically, I still feel a lot for you. You're special to me. I think that's the real reason I didn't want to get too close. Because I might lose you all together. I'm not allowed to keep things I like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Steve/Q

king_quentin
2018-02-22 09:52 pm UTC (link)

Like I’m allowed to keep things I like? I fuck up every good thing I have somehow. But I would have tried. If I thought you even maybe might possibly think about me as someone you might want to try with. But I just wasn’t thinking about it because I’m not good at decisions or existing much of anything. I wanted to be better and I was honest about who I was except for the feelings thing. I’m just [...] really bad at this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q rogerthat 2018-02-22 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	I told you I have no idea what I'm doing either, Q. You're not alone in that. I would have tried, too. If I knew. But maybe it's better than we don't collide, we might make a mess. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q king_quentin 2018-02-22 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	I know you did. I’m not saying you didn’t. Is that you saying that because that’s how you want it to be or because you’re afraid to try and make a mess? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q rogerthat 2018-02-23 12:29 am UTC (link)
	A little bit of both. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Steve/Q

king_quentin
2018-02-23 12:42 am UTC (link)

Okay. Well, get back to me if anything changes. I’m not sure I can do the awkward back and forth dance of uncertainty. You know where I stand, so you just need to figure out where you stand because we’re definitely going to make a spectacular mess of it if you don’t know what you want. If that’s not me, then it’s not. But I wasn’t using you, for the record.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q rogerthat 2018-02-23 01:32 am UTC (link)
	I wasn't using you either, which is why I'm so adamant about this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q king_quentin 2018-02-23 02:19 am UTC (link)
	Okay. Don’t let asshole celestial fuckers get in your head. They’re good at convincing people they’re shit and then getting joy out of whatever fucking misery it wreaks. Also the whole preying on me thing? I’m trying to figure that out still. Where you were mentally. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q rogerthat 2018-02-23 02:31 am UTC (link)
	I should have known better, that's what I meant. I shouldn't have messed with you. Neither of us are capable of handling it, apparently. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q king_quentin 2018-02-23 02:48 am UTC (link)
	I think we’d be better capable at handling things if we were on similar footing. But we weren’t and so it didn’t end well. I should hsve been honest about my feelings, but I wasn’t. You clearly have hang ups. But it’s whatever. We’re talking in circles and I’m tired. So just figure out what you want and let me know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Steve/Q

rogerthat
2018-02-23 02:54 am UTC (link)

Since Eliot knows so much about this, I'll just tell you straight out:

Don't feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. This is on me. I don't have feelings for you, I don't want you to think we're something when we're nothing. Okay? That's what I want, I want your friend to stop hounding me, and I want you to stop acting like I hurt you. We weren't anything.

I guess we're not even friends now because I'm so mad I can't handle this shit anymore.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve/Q king_quentin 2018-02-23 03:07 am UTC (link)
	[...] Okay. Thank you for making it so clear. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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