InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Decepticons forever!!"

tensor_mods (tensor_mods) wrote in tensor_ooc,
@ 2011-01-22 20:36:00

Entry tags:

application, info, mod post

Please fill in all fields, then post it to the profile of your IC journal and link below.

Player Info
Name:
Email Address:
IM/MSN Username:

Basic Info
Real Name:
Nicknames:
Affiliation: (Only include this line for adult characters)
Occupation:
Education Level: High School student? College student? Alumni?

Physical
Age/Birthdate:
Height:
Build: slender, stocky, wiry, etc.... Just to give us an idea
Hair: Color, length and style.
Eyes:
Appearance: Please give us a fairly detailed description of your character’s physical appearance including things like their physique, manner of dress and distinguishing features.
Played By:

Powers, Abilities and Stats
Powers: Please be specific and include strengths, weaknesses, and limitations.
Generation: Please specify if your character is a first, second or third generation powered human in their family. Note: Only characters who are canonically second generation or above will be allowed third generation status.
Hearing:
Eyesight:
Dexterity/Agility:
Physical Strength:
General Health:
IQ: How smart are they? Super genius? Moderately bright? Might learn to spell their name someday if someone walks them through it often enough?
Mental Health:
Skills: Anything out of the ordinary goes here.

School Life
School: Middle? High? College or Cadet? (remember being a cadet is a military obligation and comes with considerable loss of personal liberties)
Year:
Years at Xavier's: As of March 1, 2011, all new characters must be new to the school as well. No more applications for established students will be accepted.
Relatives Attending:
Dorm: House, Floor, Room Number. (To be filled in AFTER assigned.)
Roommate(s): To be filled in AFTER assigned.
Pet: refer to this post (To be filled in after pet is applied for and approved on the pet page)
School Team(s): If any.
Activities & Clubs: If any.

Background
Family: Please also list the status of family members. (Powered, Non-Powered, Alien, etc)
Religion:
History: As with powers we’d like some detail here, so that we (and other players once you’re in game) have a good sense of where your character’s coming from.
Personality: Enough to give us a good grasp of who your character is and how they’ll fit into the game, please.
Mannerisms and quirks: Accent? Nervous tick? Do they constantly clear their throat? Run a hand through their hair? Invade peoples’ personal space? Chew their nails? Put it here.
Likes:
Dislikes:

Relationships:
Friends:
Enemies:
Marital status:
Past Relationships: You must clear any relationships with other playable characters with their RPer.
Present Relationships: You must clear any relationships with other playable characters with their RPer.
Planned Relationships:
Sexual Preference:

Info at a glance: Anything you'd like other players/characters to be able to know about your character at a glance - obvious piercings, foibles, mannerisms and the like.

Sample RP
Third person past tense. Only required for first app for new players.

Links to fanfiction/other games/other journals: Established players exempt.

By submitting this application I confirm that I have read and understand the rules and that I am eighteen years of age or older.

Player Info Name: Email Address: IM/MSN Username: Basic Info Real Name: Nicknames: Affiliation: (Only include this line for adult characters) Occupation: Education Level: High School student? College student? Alumni? Physical Age/Birthdate: Height: Build: slender, stocky, wiry, etc.... Just to give us an idea Hair: Color, length and style. Eyes: Appearance: Please give us a fairly detailed description of your character’s physical appearance including things like their physique, manner of dress and distinguishing features. Played By: Powers, Abilities and Stats Powers: Please be specific and include strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. Generation: Please specify if your character is a first, second or third generation powered human in their family. Note: Only characters who are canonically second generation or above will be allowed third generation status. Hearing: Eyesight: Dexterity/Agility: Physical Strength: General Health: IQ: How smart are they? Super genius? Moderately bright? Might learn to spell their name someday if someone walks them through it often enough? Mental Health: Skills: Anything out of the ordinary goes here. School Life School: Middle? High? College or Cadet? (remember being a cadet is a military obligation and comes with considerable loss of personal liberties) Year: Years at Xavier's: As of March 1, 2011, all new characters must be new to the school as well. No more applications for established students will be accepted. Relatives Attending: Dorm: House, Floor, Room Number. (To be filled in AFTER assigned.) Roommate(s): To be filled in AFTER assigned. Pet: refer to the pets post at http://asylums.insanejournal.com/tensor_ooc/3540.html#cutid1 (To be filled in after pet is applied for and approved) School Team(s): If any. Activities & Clubs: If any. Background Family: Please also list the status of family members. (Powered, Non-Powered, Alien, etc) Religion: History: As with powers we’d like some detail here, so that we (and other players once you’re in game) have a good sense of where your character’s coming from. Personality: Enough to give us a good grasp of who your character is and how they’ll fit into the game, please. Mannerisms and quirks: Accent? Nervous tick? Do they constantly clear their throat? Run a hand through their hair? Invade peoples’ personal space? Chew their nails? Put it here. Likes: Dislikes: Relationships: Friends: Enemies: Marital status: Past Relationships: You must clear any relationships with other playable characters with their RPer. Present Relationships: You must clear any relationships with other playable characters with their RPer. Planned Relationships: Sexual Preference: Info at a glance: Anything you'd like other players/characters to be able to know about your character at a glance - obvious piercings, foibles, mannerisms and the like. Sample RP Third person past tense. Only required for first app for new players. Links to fanfiction/other games/other journals: Established players exempt. By submitting this application I confirm that I have read and understand the rules and that I am eighteen years of age or older.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

tensor_mods
2011-03-02 03:04 am UTC (link)

There are a few issues with Vanessa's bio that we need you to address before we'll be able to accept her.

The first one is simply the use of 'mutant' throughout the bio. That's a slur in the game world, powered human is the accepted term.

Moving on to the history itself, we're assuming that Vanessa's mother's reaction to her manifestation is b/c she's a member of some fringe anti-powered human religious movement, but you need to either make that clear or change the reaction. Powers are not just fairly common (powered humans are heading rapidly towards becoming a majority of the population) but they are actively admired, respected and, generally, hoped for by parents. Her mother should have recognized her manifestation for what it was and have been pleased, or at least not terrified, unless she had some kind of very unusual prejudice.

Also, given the physical manifestation of her powers, it's very likely that S.H.I.E.L.D. would have become aware of her - and her unregistered status - at some point sooner than two years after manifestation, as everyone's required to report to the nearest S.H.I.E.L.D. office when they manifest powers to be evaluated, reclassified as a powered human, and issued a new ID. More to the point, when she transformed after touching the prostitute she'd have probably been more likely to be angry at a shape shifter moving into her territory than shocked or frightened. Shape shifters have been around for a long time and most of the public is familiar with them and really wouldn't find that power particularly upsetting to see in action.

Lastly, you have her being sent to the Academy as almost a reform school situation, and it really isn't. Most powered humans don't go to one of the Academies, they're for the best, brightest and most powerful. And while her power might qualify her for admission, it's just not the kind of place you're sent to in an effort to straighten out your criminal tendencies.

Finally, sections of her personality are contradictory. In one section you say she's quiet and shy but in another she's bubbbly, friendly, and almost always giggling and smiling. Plus the format it's broken down into is rather confusing. Could you please go through that entire section for clarity and to eliminate the inconsistencies?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	copykat 2011-03-02 07:22 am UTC (link)
	I believe that I fixed everything stated above. Let me know if anything else needs to be done. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tensor_mods
2011-03-04 06:57 am UTC (link)

We're uncertain about how long she was on the street and how long she's been at the Academy. In years at the academy it still says one, but she manifested at 15 and as the bio's written now it sounds like she was picked up by SHIELD not long thereafter.

The other issue is just that you need to note that her mother was contacted and (we assume) signed over parental authority for her. She could have attended on scholarship, as her powers are definitely something they'd have considered worthy of admission.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	copykat 2011-03-04 07:05 am UTC (link)
	Sorry, I forgot about that. Just fixed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-03-04 08:11 am UTC (link)
	Accepted! Please head here and go down the list! (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -