He's a reporter, he's not (oneofthem) wrote in stepfordic, @ 2019-09-18 08:45:00 |
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Breaking News
Stepford rejoices as Marlena Foxx, the mastermind behind an intricate human trafficking has been sentenced to death by stoning. Her unwilling associates, Madeline Duncan and fiancé Beatrice Beasley have also been sentenced to six months in prison for their alleged role in Foxx's crime ring. The beautiful couple will luckily still continue with their wedding plans on time and be granted a small two month honeymoon vacation as well as front row seats to Foxx's execution before returning to Stepford's newest luxury prison resort on Mako Island for what remains of their sentence.
The good news doesn't end there. Laurel Stewart, Daniella Jones, and Marie Broderick are all expecting beautiful bundles of joy to add to the prestigious Carson (and Stewart) family line. From everyone here in Stepford, we send our congratulations.
Mason Reed has been spotted holding hands with new flame Kristen Stewart this weekend. Sources say the two are talking seriously about moving on to the next stage in their relationship. Could there be wedding bells in the near future? Stay tuned into the story as it unfolds and find out.
In other news: Peter Parker got an A on his physics exam and is a pretty cool guy according to local consensus. Great job, Peter Parker.
This has been Sami Bahar with the Special Report.