He's a reporter, he's not (oneofthem) wrote in stepfordic, @ 2019-04-03 14:30:00 |
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Breaking News
Just days after Mayor Thomas's scheduled demolition of the Esmeralda bridge, which resulted in the deaths of several unidentified criminals, stands the new and improved Stark Bridge. The bridge is said to be disaster proof; resistant to earthquakes, harsh winds, rains, and lava to help keep us safe. Along with the bridge's construction, the border wall is nearly complete. Both Mayor Thomas's wife Brenda and his girlfriends Lorraine Hart and Faith Lehane have been spotted patrolling the wall looking for creatures from the woods and asylum seekers from Dark City to kill.
Up next, Stiles "Dungeon Bae" Stilinski has been voted Sexiest Serial Killer of 2019. Who will be his next victim? More on how to raise your chances after a word from our sponsors.
This has been Sami Bahar with the Special Report.