ink_weaver (ink_weaver) wrote in spork_squad, @ 2010-03-26 12:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | clownfish yuffie, fincent, finrape, fishyroth, ink_weaver, mermen, solo snark, the mating habits of mermen |
As I Continue to Bastardize The Little Mermaid
And now…onto part two! Which is just as terrible as part one. Eegads.
In this next episode of Fincent Valentine and Fishyroth’s epic love, will we see any character development at all? No! Will there be improvements in the grammar? Don’t get your hopes up! Will we see random plot maiming? Oh, buddy, you bet!
Sephiroth was absolutely floored by the other's beauty. He had never seen such a magnificent creature before.
Jenova’s curves were laid deliciously bare before him, glistening with perspiration in the light of Meteor –
Sephiroth awoke with a start. Damn, he thought. Only in my wildest dreams.
Long black hair, pale skin, crimson-blood eyes, a delicate soft yet strong face and a long slender body that made his blood boil.
Vincent jerked awake at the sound of someone choking and gurgling. To his right, a long-haired merman was twitching and gasping, and it appeared the water around him was bubbling. Upon further investigation, Vincent realized that the merman’s temperature was actually so high that he was making the surrounding liquid boil.
With a shrug, Vincent pulled out his Cerberus and put the poor creature out of his misery. Then he drifted off, wondering how the hell he had acquired a fish tail and why his gun was working underwater.
But now after stumbling across this work of art napping in the coral, Sephiroth found himself with a change of heart.
Sephiroth always was a fan of Van Gogh, and seeing his favorite sunflower depiction, laying abandoned in the coral, brought a tear to his eye.
He preferred to watch the other as he slept from his hiding place behind a particularly large patch of coral.
With binoculars. And x-ray goggles, to pierce Vincent’s shell bra (you know he’s wearing one – this is uke!Vincent we’re talking about).
Suddenly his musings were interrupted as he sensed an evil aura nearby.
Rape senses… tingling…
Had Sephiroth been anyone else but himself he might have missed it
Like on Tuesdays when he put on a white dress and swam over the volcanic vents in the ocean floor so that his skirt would fly up in the water currents – he did so love to be Maryfin Monroe.
but as he was a great and noble warrior his senses were attuned and refined to detect the faintest and most minute changes in the water.
In fact, right now he knew that the king was masturbating, some ugly merman was sneezing, and several clownfish were giggling and slipping on banana peels.
Looking back again at the pretty, sleeping merman, Sephiroth feared for his safety and decided to act.
“Let’s get the fuck out of dodge,” Sephiroth said to himself, swimming away as fast as he could.
Vincent had been in the middle of a wonderful dream when he felt a shudder travel up his spine. And soon he became aware of being observed.
Aw fuck, Vincent thought to himself, this is one of those fics where I get fin-raped, isn’t it? He sighed. This was the third time in a week!
Opening his eyes, he was greeted by the vibrant, green eyes of a beautiful merman with silver hair floating above him.
“You have hair floating above your head,” Vincent deadpanned.
“Oh, shit, my toupee! Now everyone will know of my male pattern baldness!”
Sephiroth gazed down at Vincent with a smile on his face.
Vincent scrambled to get his rape whistle before it was too late.