InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm schizophrenic--and so am I"

Audrey Jensen (fknaudrey) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2019-07-18 22:41:00

Entry tags:

active: brooke maddox, active: five hargreeves, active: freddy freeman, active: nico di angelo, active: peter parker, active: tandy bowen

I've been thinking I should work on my demo reel. Part of me wonders if there's really any purpose in doing that while we're here, and part of me is like... you never know! Weirder things have happened! There were just leprechauns here!

So uh. If anyone has experience holding a camera I may need your talents. I'll be writing into your contract that I get to punch you in the face if you break my camera. I also need a duet partner. Preferably in a high baritone/tenor range. And I need someone who'll let me cover them in special effects makeup.

[Vanya]
I have a day off tomorrow and it may be the last Friday I have off for the foreseeable future. So I was thinking we should do something and get to know each other better? One of the girls I work with was telling me about this thrift store she found and it's sandwiched magically between a little indie coffee place and a record shop so I was thinking we could hit all three if you're down?

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	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-28 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	~~You're just a kid. Don't be so hard~~ Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. No matter how great or how brilliant someone is, mistakes happen. ~~I couldn't prevent the apo~~ My entire world is gone because of me, because of mistakes I made. So, plus side, you didn't fail to prevent the apocalypse? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Audrey \| Five fknaudrey 2019-07-28 10:54 pm UTC (link)
	I guess so, yeah. The apocalypse is a lot bigger than... I think Kieran was charged with fifteen murders in the end. Twelve is what he said I was responsible for. When he broke into my bedroom and wrote it on my ceiling in blood. That was a hell of a thing. I've never told anyone else about that. I have no idea why I just told you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Audrey | Five

jumps
2019-07-28 11:17 pm UTC (link)

Twelve of his fifteen? If so, it sounds like he might have been attempting to pass the blame. I have no idea if you were responsible for twelve, but that seems a bit excessive to break into your bedroom and write that on your ceiling in blood.

Sometimes it's easier to tell people removed from your life and situation. How much more removed can you get than a guy from a different reality while in yet another reality?

I don't know if it helps, but I haven't wanted to talk to even my brothers and sister who are here about the apocalypse. Not more than I already have.

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Audrey | Five

fknaudrey
2019-07-28 11:55 pm UTC (link)

Twelve at the time. Three more came after that. So he was trying to make me responsible for all of them. And one of them was my own girlfriend. Maybe. I'm not sure if Rachel's murder ever got added onto his charges. The cops didn't want to call it anything other than suicide but I was with Piper when it happened so I knew when we found out Kieran was working with her, that he had to be the one who did it. She wouldn't have killed herself. And Maggie even said it couldn't have been a suicide. It wasn't possible.

It is easier to talk to people who are removed from it, yeah. Brooke is here, but we've never really talked much about it.

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	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-29 01:04 am UTC (link)
	If you don't mind me asking, how many do you believe you're responsible for or possibly are responsible for? You mentioned Piper. I do understand if you'd rather not say, however. I am sorry about the loss of your girlfriend. Is Brooke the one talking about hiding a body? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Audrey | Five

fknaudrey
2019-07-29 01:12 am UTC (link)

~~Three~~ ~~Four~~ I mean, I am the one who asked Piper to come to Lakewood. I invited her there. I wanted her to come help me with this documentary. I was sixteen and angry at the world and at Emma for dumping me for her new popular friends and I vented to an outlet that I knew would understand the feelings of abandonment. So it's all my fault. I know when all of that was made public that a lot of people blame me for all of it too and they're not wrong.

Yep, that'd be Brooke. She's also the one talking about buying underwear. She has layers.

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Audrey | Five

jumps
2019-07-29 02:45 am UTC (link)

Wrong or not, they don't know the whole story. To me, it doesn't sound like it was all your fault. I can't and wont say if some of it was. I don't know all the details. However, there are others at blame here. Reaching out to someone when you need it is not the same as reaching out to someone in order to arrange for the deaths of multiple people, provided that wasn't your initial intent. Were that your intent, to have at least fifteen people murdered, I still can't judge. And I won't. I just know that, sometimes, we're put in difficult situations, and we come out with blood on our hands.

~~Layers of underwear or~~ Underwear is useful.

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Audrey | Five

fknaudrey
2019-07-29 02:58 am UTC (link)

I was hurt, but hurting Emma and Maggie was never my intent. Maggie was always there for me when my mom was in the hospital and my dad was gone or just too busy to bother. And I loved Emma. People died who had never done anything wrong to anyone and people died who were horrible and would just keep getting worse. You can't make a blanket judgment call. But no, what happened, it wasn't my intent at all. As angry as I was, I never meant for that to be the outcome.

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	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-29 03:18 am UTC (link)
	Do you mind if I ask what you wanted the outcome of reaching out to be? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Audrey | Five

fknaudrey
2019-07-29 03:26 am UTC (link)

What does anyone want? A friend. That's it.

Piper found me on a true crime board where I was discussing Brandon's case. She said she was interested in his case too and we started talking privately. I was a starstruck because she had this podcast that I was a big fan of and I think she used that to manipulate me. She always knew more than I did. I thought I was smart and she was just smarter. Or further ahead.

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Audrey | Five

jumps
2019-07-30 02:52 am UTC (link)

~~This is how people like that work~~

That's how some people operate. They're manipulative, and they know the right thing to say to the right person because they know who they need to manipulate to get what they want. What we want can blind even the smartest of us.

If the comics about my family and I hold even some of our truths, then you know that, at some point, I worked for a very interesting group of people. I'm not saying I'm not smarter than they are, but they did what Piper did; preyed on something I wanted.

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Audrey | Five

fknaudrey
2019-07-30 03:16 am UTC (link)

I know a bit of it, yeah. I suppose I can infer the rest. You spent a long time looking for a way to warn your family about what was going to happen, right? That's probably the same no matter what other details are surrounding it.

There's more to my story that I feel like I should tell you, especially because I know so much of yours. But I don't think this is the right way to tell it. It's something that ought to be face to face, right? That's the honest way to do it. If you want to know. I trust that you wouldn't tell anyone else.

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	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-30 03:40 am UTC (link)
	That's the bare bones of it, yes. Whatever you say would stay between us. We can meet up, and you can tell me as much or as little of your story as you want. We could even get coffee. Or alcohol. Whichever sounds more appealing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Audrey \| Five fknaudrey 2019-07-30 03:45 am UTC (link)
	Alcohol. Better do it somewhere private, too. What's your poison and I'll pick something up on my way home from work one of these nights. I have a much more believable fake ID. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-30 04:02 am UTC (link)
	Private would be best, I agree. Do you have a location preference? The walls are only so thick in these apartments. I have many, but bourbon sounds like a good idea for this. I suspect you do, but I'm a great thief when I need to be. But I'll leave the acquisition of the alcohol to you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Audrey \| Five fknaudrey 2019-07-30 04:08 am UTC (link)
	I don't have anywhere in mind, no. I haven't done nearly as much exploring as I'd like to. But I'll get the liquor and you pick the location? Sound fair? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Audrey \| Five jumps 2019-07-30 04:11 am UTC (link)
	Sounds fair. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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