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snarrymod ([info]snarrymod) wrote in [info]snarry_games,
@ 2009-09-20 09:38:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:fic, snitch

Team Snitch Entry (FIC): "Rapture" by Mia Ugly
Title: Rapture
Author: Mia Ugly ([info]mia_ugly)
Team: Snitch
Genre(s): Time-Travel
Prompt(s): The Long Goodbye, Achilles Heel
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: NC17; Highlight if you wish to know: *Epilogue Compliant, non-explicit Harry/Ginny*
Word Count: ~50,000
Author Notes/Disclaimers/Betas A huge thank you to [info]whitecotton and [info]accioslash, for their tireless (and last minute) beta work. Another huge (throbbing) thank you to [info]joanwilder, who was a fantastic team capitan, an amazing beta, and a great person in general - infinitely generous and infinitely kind. Thank you to the Mods for granting me extension after extension, for being exceedingly patient, and for running this lovely fest. Thanks to all my team-mates who volunteered to help out when I was going crazy, and above all, thank you to the lovely Fast9s, who put up with my panic attacks, my late nights, and my passion for hot wizard love. And for Fast9s.


Summary: Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.






"Rapture"




Don't forget to vote and review!



MOD NOTE: POLL IS NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.





Mod note: If you rec this story, please link this POST, not the story url, or the author will not get her proper vote tally. Thank you!

Mod note 2: Today is the last day of regular posting for the 2009 Mixed Snarry Games! Stay tuned for Team Cauldron's last entry tonight and announcements regarding the Closing Games!

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[info]jadzialove
2009-09-21 06:33 am UTC (link)
I struggle, as I sit in the stunned aftermath, to come up with words worthy enough for this story. My thoughts are a jumble right now, and perhaps I should have waited until I wasn't so overwhelmed with it before trying to express anything coherent, but I couldn't leave without telling you how wonderful you are.

You made me feel so much that I don't know where to begin. Harry's desperation and obsession, Severus's pain and confusion and downright wretchedness when he recognized 11-year-old Harry, the devastation Harry felt when the last trip was Dumbledore, who refused to help.

Somehow, for a story that wasn't action centered, I found my heart racing and my teeth gritting, sitting on the edge of my seat (sometimes literally) hoping against hope that Harry would could save him, that Albus would pass the tiny but oh so important bit of info on, that Severus would risk everything to let Harry in... Not to mention the love scenes, which were everything that a first time should be: desperate and blissful and awkward and overwhelming and intense and glorious.

Your way with words had them leaping off of the page, while my greedy brain lapped them up, assimilating them into vivid scenes, filled with powerful emotions. You are truly a master.

Love leaves a mark, indeed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:13 am UTC

[info]dixiebell12
2009-09-21 08:06 am UTC (link)
OMG, you've broken my heart and put it back together several times in this fic. It was outstanding.

Hugs,
Dix

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:14 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2009-09-21 08:12 am UTC (link)
beautiful, beautiful writing. this is such an amazing story, i was completely engrossed from the very beginning and i'm sure i'll be rereading it many times in the future. god, you really got me right through the heart.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:15 am UTC

[info]gaycrow
2009-09-21 08:45 am UTC (link)
It was a real pleasure to read this, and then to see all the recs popping up around Live and Insane Journals. Congratulations on producing such a well received, well written, gripping story.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:18 am UTC

[info]slashpine
2009-09-21 10:12 am UTC (link)
I enjoyed this very much, although that word seems odd to use with a story so laden with angst. But the writing was terrific and kept me reading eagerly, your Snape was bitterly in character and your Harry made a disarmingly modest and happy-tempered foil for him.

The plotting was excellent, especially the scene with Albus and his response - then, and later. Perhaps more than anything else, I love that with your ending, you didn't just save Snape, you retrieved Dumbledore's reputation. *hugs the conniving old git*

Also, I love that there was the single mother on a train, scribbling about a green-eyed boy and a hook-nosed man...just a bit meta! *g* Like Ginny's Priu, also. That made me smile! What an interesting note of contemporary Muggle concerns injected into the Wizarding World - especially Ginny's, which seems as oblivious to Muggles and the environment as any young woman's could be. It added a lovely note of lightness into the work, like Snape's and Harry's occasional lines of deeply felt humor.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:19 am UTC

[info]fancypantsdylan
2009-09-21 10:56 am UTC (link)
This was just so totally amazing. If I hadn't already been *in love* with these two, this story would have done it. I felt harry's anguish when he realised he would not see Severus again (in Dumbledore's office that last time). Severus' hatred for Harry (at 11) at the opening feast and his distruction of his rooms later, knowing he would always love him. I was so pleased at the end when Severus appeared at the memorial to save Harry, even with Severus trying to get rid of Harry at Spinner's end I hoped for a happy ending and you didn't disappoint. This was a wonderful read and I just want to go read it again :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:20 am UTC

[info]snarry_fan7
2009-09-21 01:01 pm UTC (link)
Most excellent and interesting work. I love the use of the watch to travel through time and how it would prevent Harry from telling or showing Severus anything of the future. I also like how their relationship progressed every time Harry went back in time. Very, very well done!~Sophia

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:22 am UTC

[info]perfica
2009-09-21 01:20 pm UTC (link)
This was exquisite. I'm so very, very happy we're on the same team :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:23 am UTC

[info]obnoxiousbrat
2009-09-21 01:37 pm UTC (link)
Saying that this was just beyond amazing wouldn't be enough. Saying that I loved it wouldn't be enough. Saying that I cried and cried wouldn't be enough. Saying that THIS, this right here is how Snarry should be written wouldn't be enough. But I'll say it all anyways because I did love it and I did cry and this IS Snarry and this was beyond amazing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:24 am UTC

[info]synn
2009-09-21 04:16 pm UTC (link)
What a lovely, lovely story. Thank you

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:25 am UTC

[info]abigail89
2009-09-21 05:46 pm UTC (link)
*is absolutely, completely breathless*

I am in awe of the gorgeous, satisfying story. From start to finish, it quite simply took me on its wings and never dropped me. Every detail is perfect, every scene a gem.

How do you end this story?

Severus folds the letter neatly in his hand. "You don't."

Even though YOUR story has ended, it is one that never ends as long as we humans are driven by our foolish desire to love and be loved in return. Reading this was time well spent, and my soul is nourished.

Well done, fellow Snitcher!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:25 am UTC

[info]nonajf
2009-09-21 06:56 pm UTC (link)
This is brilliant! The characters are so real and full of life, and the plotting was so deftly handled. It was full of love and hope and sorrow and loss. I believed that it would be tragic and end with Severus' death and be the story of two lovers separated by time. But Harry got through to Albus (such a heartbreaking scene) and did save Severus.

I loved the depth that early scenes acquired as I read further and understood more. (Severus' reaction to eleven year old Harry arriving at school!)

And then, spread across the story were the background details of the present that would be so important. It was easy to follow Harry's lead there and pay little attention to the Marks. The romance and the time traveling were so engrossing and filled with such emotion. But it was the present that made the future possible. Made the happy ending possible.

Brava!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:27 am UTC

[info]naatz
2009-09-21 07:17 pm UTC (link)
Gack. Awesomeness. You had me right at the start, when you played with tenses. I'm not sure why, but I have this weakness you played on. And the parentheses! Yesssssssss. so, really, by this point you had me as captive audience.

But then you introduced timetravel, and, wow. My other weakness. And awkward!Snape, my latest kink. andandand.

This was touching {and that sounds so, so inadequate}; you utilised the style to the best of the story, and I commend you for that, whether it was a conscious thought or a whim. The technique was perfectly executed. You have a way with words, never let anybody else convince you otherwise. They washed over me, swallowed me whole, and didn't let out until the very ending. This is the sort of style I always wished I could use well, and at times abandoned it because I lost faith. Colour me jealous, here; and thank you for returning that faith to me.

Then there was the plot. I can't call it perfect, because there were things I didn't think were probable, but they worked within the story, and you dealt with them well. And, they were minor -- so minor that it was quite easy to suspend my belief over the children's parentage and Harry and Ginny's open marriage and its reasons. It worked. I might not have chosen to do it myself, but I'll concede that it worked. So, second commendation. You made me accept something I wouldn't, under different circumstances and by a different writer.

Now, the things that I embraced? Are countless. The timetravel -- I may have mentioned it already, but it's worth mentioning time and time again -- was excellently done. Something quite rare and normally riddled in plotholes. Harry's repeated disappearances/reappearances made for a bittersweet tale, where Harry was certain he knew what was at the end, and Snape didn't know when he'd see Harry next.

Awkward!Snape? Nailed. I loved it how you didn't make Snape best at and with everything, how he had his flaws, and how he behaved accordingly. I also loved how sometimes what he wanted to say slipped out when he didn't notice, and how I could see that with time, his control over himself improved, gradually, almost not there, and how palpable, in comparison, was Harry's stasis, which Snape also mentions.

And oh, Harry. One of the more complicated, hardest characters to write, and gahhh. You characterised him perfectly both from Snape's POV and his own, and his growing desperation is heartbreaking. I got the heaviest feeling out of the parts right before Harry travelled to the past. You could see him grow, step by step, mature, develop, but still, he remained the same in Snape's eyes.

I really want to mention Hermione, so here is Hermione. I'm pretty sure she was the one Ginny kissed, and parallels you drew between Ginny and Harry are amazing. It's sad that Harry got his man and Ginny didn't get her woman, but it's great that she found her own piece of happiness. Even though I hated how she threw Harry out. =( Hermione's involvement was precise, patient, optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. I think I simply liked the fact that she WAS involved. Somebody else might've decided she wasn't worth mentioning.

I think that the scene I possibly liked best was the one with Dumbledore as narrator {even though I would've cut out those last three lines} and the subsequent italics section. If you'd stopped there, I don't think I wouldv'e minded. Perhaps I'd even have preferred that, LOL. It felt like a natural climax, and, and, I loved it.

Seeing Snape's life -- Muggle relatives and Ministry sticking their nose in -- was fascinating. Snape was biting, sarcastic, almost convinced he didn't care, when it was all so obvious he did.

I'm not sure what's the point of this review, really. I don't usually give half-beta comments when I read, but this fic? Demanded love, care and attention. So here it is. You deserve it. This is an instant-classic, and I think I'll remember it for some time yet. It's got that haunting aftereffects, you see. :)

btw, if you ever feel the need for a plot/continuity beta? You've got a willing beta in me. :)

Thank you for this. Words cannot express how much depth there is to this, and how deftly and gently you managed that wealth.

|Meduza|

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]naatz, 2009-09-22 07:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-23 03:53 am UTC

[info]veridari
2009-09-21 08:48 pm UTC (link)
I wish I could leave eloquent comments like so many others. I'm pants at it, frankly. Your story deserves those beautiful words of praise and more.

People used the word "powerful" in their comments as I scrolled through them. I need to use it too. This story had an amazing power over me as I went along. Real life was being horribly frustrating over the last couple of days; I'd just get back into your story to have to stop and do something that demanded my attention. But because of that, I could really understand Harry; literally *be* in his headspace. I kept being yanked out too when I least wanted to be, and my thoughts were absorbed with the story and how quickly could I get back to it? What was happening (or going to happen) in my absence?

It was amazing and brilliant and had my heart physically hurting at times (wow, I love when a story can do that!) and crying in places and this goes into my most favorite stories list without a doubt. Love *does* leave a mark, and your story has left its mark on me as well.

*iz in awe of you and so delirously happy you hit this homerun out of the ballpark for our Team8

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:36 am UTC

[info]accio_kilt
2009-09-21 10:41 pm UTC (link)
Wow! What a wild ride!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:36 am UTC

[info]aislinnsdair
2009-09-21 11:43 pm UTC (link)
...Oh...oh...

I can't even begin to express how beautiful this story was. Your ability to create angst is unparalleled - for me, "Every Time You Leave" has always defined that concept for me...until now. My heart was breaking for young Severus - struggling through his life so lonely, so beleaguered, so damaged. Watching him struggle, not knowing how to exist with the warmth and brightness that is this gentle, soft-spoken Harry, having a harder and harder time existing without it in the gaps of time between their encounters - it was exquisitely painful. The pain and anger he feels once he realizes who Harry is, watching him grow, knowing that the small moments of joy he allowed himself to share were no longer possible - it was such a believable reason for the angry, bitter man that we know as canon!Snape.

Every character in this fic was fantastically drawn. Harry's friends and Ginny seemed so familiar, like a comfortable old shirt. I loved the relationship you created between Harry and Ginny, the way that you managed to weave canon into something else entirely. The watch was such an intriguing idea, and the way that Harry came to know young Severus through visiting at seminal points in his life was a marvelous way to build the relationship between them. I loved the great aunt,and the fact that this Severus would care enough to help her, despite her nastiness. The magnetic pull that each was for the other, the way you had them clashing together in frantic heat was so arousing, and the wonder Severus experienced at Harry's touch, so endearing.
And this:
Of course Harry Potter took this experience as another opportunity to save the world. Sometimes he wondered how the boy could walk upright with all the burdens he laid on his own shoulders. Yes! Exactly who Harry is, and yet it is Severus who once again comes to Harry's rescue, saving him in the suspenseful scene at the Memorial. Immediately prior to that, though, the scene in the Shrieking Shack, Snape's apparent death - oh, you had me sobbing for the lost opportunity for these two to share a life. Your gift with words and way in which you weave a tale leaves me in awe. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:39 am UTC

[info]meri_oddities
2009-09-22 12:03 am UTC (link)
This was magnificent. In a million different ways that I can't even begin to articulate after only reading it once. I'm sure I'll be back to read it again very soon. It's got so many layers that I'm sure I'll pick up something new on subsequent readings.

Your Snape was perfect. Bitter and angry and vulnerable. Everything I've always thought he was. And your Harry, confused, jumping in where normal people fear to tread.

The story was so well executed. I read it all the way through without stopping. Excellent work.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:40 am UTC

[info]f13tch3r
2009-09-22 12:28 am UTC (link)
This fic was highly recommended to me so I read it. I haven't any words that are better than many of the comments you have already received, and yet, I hope you don't feel slighted by my meagre accolade. Thank you for this. This is beautiful. Cheers!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:42 am UTC

[info]sweetmelodykiss
2009-09-22 03:03 am UTC (link)
Wow, that was absolutely wonderful. Very well done!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-24 07:09 am UTC

[info]paikan
2009-09-22 03:54 am UTC (link)
I haven't quite decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I can be so moved by the written word (and /fanfiction/, no less). Whatever the case, there's no denying that I found this intensely moving and most likely the best fic to come out of the Snarry Games. This was lovely and unforgettable, and left me feeling happy and sad at the same time. How utterly /brilliant/.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:44 am UTC

[info]carollinali
2009-09-22 04:20 am UTC (link)
One of the best so far. Had me on the verge of tears and laughs all the time. Awesome work!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-23 03:55 am UTC

[info]gianna35
2009-09-22 05:30 am UTC (link)
I’m braking my silence, which I rarely do, because others are much more eloquent. But my heart is overflowing.

This is a masterpiece. Past and present, imagination and reality (the lady on the train) woven into a brilliant fabric, to warm us and to burn us. You have created characters we can care about – agonisingly – characters, who have little in common with their cardboard canon counterparts of several tomes.
The pacing was perfect. Unlike others of the games - stories I read, which hurry towards the end in an effort to “wrap it up”, your wonderful work kept its rhythm. You gave them the time to hurt , to heal and to find peace. Perfection.

I kept my sang-froid, comparatively, up to this point:

How do you end this story?
Severus folds the letter neatly in his hand. "You don't.",

at which I started to cry helplessly. All fear that our favourite stories might be at and end can be overcome.
What a wonderful writer you are.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-22 06:48 am UTC

[info]predatrix
2009-09-22 07:46 am UTC (link)
I like this, although it could have done with further Brit-picking. The sex scenes are particularly good, the note of jagged virginal surprise works very well.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2009-09-22 10:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-23 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2009-09-23 05:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-23 04:00 am UTC

[info]plantinshadows
2009-09-22 08:37 am UTC (link)
wow! this was a truly beautiful story!! harry and snape were really in character, which I love! the dialogue and especially severus thoughts and emotions felt so real! I even liked the timetravel that I'm usually wary of. the ending was a lovely surprise, I'm so glad there was a happy ending! very well done!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-24 07:11 am UTC

[info]e_witness
2009-09-22 09:07 am UTC (link)
I'm at a loss for words. I have no idea how to express what this story means to me. For two years, "Every Time You Leave" has been my favorite Snarry fic, the one I'd pull out when I needed a beautifully-written escape, a dose of angst or romance, a reminder of Why Snarry. Before today, I would've sworn no Snarry fic could ever draw close to the beauty of "Every Time You Leave." But this one goes beyond, so much beyond. So much more heartbreaking, so much more uplifting; so much more desperate and true. And the deftness with which you've sparred and danced with canon - well, I've always believed that the best fanfictions make canon all the more brilliant, and this has certainly done so.

I really haven't the words. You are extraordinary. "Rapture" is extraordinary. Thank you so much for it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mia_ugly, 2009-09-24 07:12 am UTC

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