InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You are blue."

Oliver Wood (die__trying) wrote in snark_n_bark,
@ 2008-09-08 19:38:00

Entry tags:

complete, faelan, harry, oliver

Second verse
Who: Oliver, Faelan and Harry
Summary: The brothers try again

Oliver left his flat at half four, knowing he was entirely too early for his meeting with Faelan, but unable to sit in his flat any longer. He'd already paced a path onto the carpeting of his lounge and that more time spent staring at the clock wasn't going to do his mental health any good.

He'd Apparated just outside the town limits, deciding a walk to the pub would calm the last of his nerves (or close enough). It mostly worked and by the time he stepped through the doorway to the bar, he felt almost himself.

Never having been in one of the private rooms here, Oliver looked around for some indication of where he should go.

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die__trying
2008-09-11 09:09 pm UTC (link)

Tears were now prickling the corners of his eyes. "And she's felt that every moment of every day since. The guilt still eats at her, as it does me. I know...I understand that that can never be forgotten or forgiven. What we did, or didn't do."

He founds his chair again and dropped into it. "It was why I started looking for you, when the reports came of the dead coming back. I wanted this chance, this moment, to apologize. For not living up to the promise I made you."

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runaway_cub
2008-09-11 09:18 pm UTC (link)

Those half-people who had come back from the dead wouldn't have been capable of real forgiveness, but Faelan didn't think that was worth pointing out. He wasn't dead, so he was capable of it, but he wondered genuinely if he could. So their mother felt guilty. Big deal, thought Faelan.

"She should feel guilty," he said, but his voice was quiet and hoarse when he said it. He could see the guilt Oliver felt first-hand now, and his brother looked positively broken. If his mother was this affected, could he look her in the eyes and not feel some measure of regret himself? He couldn't imagine it right now, but then, he couldn't have imagined himself feeling this way about his brother either. He couldn't have described it, but he felt sorry. He still had so much anger inside, so much pain, but beneath it he felt sorry that he hadn't known how much Oliver had cared.

"What promise?" he asked at last, when he got his full voice back.

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	die__trying 2008-09-11 09:25 pm UTC (link)
	"The one I made to you the first time I held you, when you were about three days old," his voice broke again and he swallowed hard to clear it before continuing. "When I promised that I'd always look after you, always protect you, be the best big--" He couldn't continue. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2008-09-11 09:32 pm UTC (link)

Oliver dropped his head and Faelan just stood there, his heart beating harder every second, and he had a moment of utter silence inside, when he couldn't help but think of how completely surreal this was. It simply couldn't be real. His brother hadn't cared that much, couldn't have, or else...or else Faelan would have to re-think everything he'd believed in for the past eight years, and he really had no idea how to even begin doing that.

In that moment, he was entirely lost, and yet, without feeling anything at all, he became distantly aware of a warm tear rolling down his cheek.

"It's okay," he said, surprising even himself, but moving forward with some compulsion to place a hand on Oliver's shoulder.

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die__trying
2008-09-11 09:43 pm UTC (link)

The touch was like fire through his shirt, a heat he felt all the way through to his bones. It was probably the only thing that could have reached him in this protracted moment.

He raised his head, Faelan's words still echoing in his ears, and met his brother's eyes. Without meaning to, he reached up towards Faelan's face and brushed the one track of moisture from his cheek, completely unaware that his own face was just as wet.

"Don't cry, Fae. It'll be all right." The words were pulled from long ago, but it sounded right in his ears, in his heart.

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runaway_cub
2008-09-11 09:50 pm UTC (link)

No one had called him that in years.

With almost any other living person, Faelan's reaction would have been to flinch away, to resist contact at all costs, but if anything could have driven home the gravity of the moment, it was his old nickname and his brother's touch. It was Ollie, who always had loved him and cared for him, and wanted him.

Still completely unaware that his emotions were breaking down, Faelan heard himself stifle something that could have been a sob, if he was a person who cried.

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die__trying
2008-09-11 09:58 pm UTC (link)

Oliver was on his feet a second later, tugging Faelan into his arms and holding him in a tight hug. It felt good, but very different from the last time he'd been able to do this and the warmth of reunion filled him.

His arms stayed tight around him for several moments, his chin resting on Faelan's shoulder, drinking in the scent, the feel of him. Even if he only ever had this moment, it would be enough. He hoped for more, for so much more, but as he now had more than he ever dreamed? He wasn't about to be greedy.

He loosened his hold after a moment and moved back, a very watery and tentative smile on his face. "You've grown a bit since the last time I did that."

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runaway_cub
2008-09-11 10:05 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah," Faelan agreed, nodding and giving a small, nervous laugh. He lifted his hand to wipe the back of it against his nose. His brother's hug had barely even made him stiffen, and for some reason he was able to let himself just feel it. It was good. Too good to be real, and yet it was.

The moment passed, however, and Faelan felt himself pulling away from his brother's arms, unconsciously searching for some defense to re-establish a safe distance.

So, with his lips quirked in a small smirk, he joked, "Bugger all, I didn't realize big Quidditch heroes were allowed to cry."

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	die__trying 2008-09-11 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	He was amazed to find himself chuckling in response, smiling a bit wider as he wiped at his own face. "We're not, unless we've just won the league and took a Bludger to the head doing so. And even then it's frowned upon." It was hard, letting him go, but he dropped his arms to the sides and gave Faelan space. In actuality, he needed a bit of his own to collect himself. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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