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Several different lines of argument are used to explain why Severus is behaving in ways that Harry takes as hostile. One is that Severus had to act this way to maintain his cover as Death Eater: That when Voldemort returned Severus could point to his treatment of Harry as evidence that he remained a true DE and was never influenced by Dumbledore's agenda (and this would be supported by the testament of sons of DEs in his class if needed). A different argument is that Severus has strict and demanding standards (both academic and behavioral) as a teacher and Harry repeatedly fails those, thus bringing upon himself sarcasm, wrath, loss of points and detentions, as the case may be. And of course the argument more common among non-fans of Severus, that from the moment Severus saw the physical resemblance between Harry and his father Severus started taking on Harry his unreconciled enmity towards James (whether consciously or unconsciously).
This relationship becomes mutually hostile and results in Harry and his friends mistrusting Severus time and again - when they thought he was cursing Harry's broom and trying to steal the Philosophers' Stone, in the Shrieking Shack in POA, when they went to the Ministry in OOTP despite having already delivered him what should have been a sufficient warning to the Order and when Harry suspects Severus is a party to Draco's plot in HBP (well, he was in a way, but not how Harry expected). Severus' outburst in the Shrieking Shack ("... I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee!...") shows that Severus was offended by this state of affairs, he really expected to be trusted by Harry.
If Severus' behavior was strategic, intending to act the DE part - why would he expect Harry to trust him? Or is it that since their relationship already had a hostile start (whether because of Harry's conduct as a student or because of Severus' unsettled account with James) Severus decided to use it as part of his justification to Voldemort and the DEs (as we see him do with Bellatrix in HBP)? Did Severus expect Harry, perhaps with the aid of more trusted authority figures such as Minerva or Albus, to see the protection beyond the wrath and snark?
How does Albus fit in? In the early books he contributes to the distrust between the two - in PS he says Severus saved Harry so he could hate James' memory in peace, in POA he blames Severus for the need to make a daring rescue of Sirius. But later Albus reassures Harry that Severus was never suspected with any Dark activity since the first war (GOF), tells him how Severus warned the Order and searched for Harry and his friends in the forest, refrains from mentioning Severus' part in the matter of the prophecy until Harry learns of it himself (OOTP vs HBP) and tells Harry again and again that he trusts Professor Snape (HBP). Yet in OOTP he also says he expected Severus to have gotten over the past enough to teach Harry Occlumency successfully. So did Albus initially think he was supporting Severus' cover story but changed gears when he saw things were going badly? Or was he deliberately preventing the reconciliation of undesired hostility because it served his own plots?
This relationship becomes mutually hostile and results in Harry and his friends mistrusting Severus time and again - when they thought he was cursing Harry's broom and trying to steal the Philosophers' Stone, in the Shrieking Shack in POA, when they went to the Ministry in OOTP despite having already delivered him what should have been a sufficient warning to the Order and when Harry suspects Severus is a party to Draco's plot in HBP (well, he was in a way, but not how Harry expected). Severus' outburst in the Shrieking Shack ("... I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee!...") shows that Severus was offended by this state of affairs, he really expected to be trusted by Harry.
If Severus' behavior was strategic, intending to act the DE part - why would he expect Harry to trust him? Or is it that since their relationship already had a hostile start (whether because of Harry's conduct as a student or because of Severus' unsettled account with James) Severus decided to use it as part of his justification to Voldemort and the DEs (as we see him do with Bellatrix in HBP)? Did Severus expect Harry, perhaps with the aid of more trusted authority figures such as Minerva or Albus, to see the protection beyond the wrath and snark?
How does Albus fit in? In the early books he contributes to the distrust between the two - in PS he says Severus saved Harry so he could hate James' memory in peace, in POA he blames Severus for the need to make a daring rescue of Sirius. But later Albus reassures Harry that Severus was never suspected with any Dark activity since the first war (GOF), tells him how Severus warned the Order and searched for Harry and his friends in the forest, refrains from mentioning Severus' part in the matter of the prophecy until Harry learns of it himself (OOTP vs HBP) and tells Harry again and again that he trusts Professor Snape (HBP). Yet in OOTP he also says he expected Severus to have gotten over the past enough to teach Harry Occlumency successfully. So did Albus initially think he was supporting Severus' cover story but changed gears when he saw things were going badly? Or was he deliberately preventing the reconciliation of undesired hostility because it served his own plots?
reassessing
Possibly that you haven't reassessed all the old information in light of the new?
The reason we originally thought Snape hated Harry for being like James is that Dumbledore said so at the end of PS. But we now know that his comments then were both untrue (The motive was Lily, not James, and Snape was so far from considering himself indebted that it didn't even come up in his post-prophecy return to Dumbledore) and made in almost complete ignorance of the circumstances (the Cloak, the Map, the Animagi transformations and motive, even perhaps the bullying ... or one would like to be able to think that last was ignorance and not callousness). And Dumbledore's not a reliable speaker at any time.
What evidence is there in the *narration* or in Snape's own actions that the loathing was about James? It's a feasible explanation, but it's not that well-supported. Snape doesn't even mention James until PoA, and then only because he's trying to make Harry keep out of danger.
Harry reminds him of his mistakes/guilt, not because he has James's face, but because he has Lily's (contemptuous) eyes. And that's enough to make him constantly angry and miserable around Harry.
"spit-flinging tantrums at 13-year-olds"
If you mean in the hospital wing after the Shack, he was probably still suffering the after-effects of a moderate concussion. (Moderate = between mild and severe.) One common side-effect is emotional lability. And he was also greatly distressed at the escape of someone he thought had murdered Lily and was still trying to murder Harry.
"he stops midflight to rebut an accusation that he's a coward"
No, he doesn't. In the movie, yes, but not in the book. He stopped running when Harry shot off his first Stupefy, and turned to duel Harry to allow Draco to escape. He doesn't *stop* when Harry calls him a coward; he shoots a minor hex that sends Harry tumbling backwards, gets attacked by Buckbeak and starts running again.
"he torments Sirius"
No, he replies in kind when Sirius torments *him*. The few times we see them together, it is Sirius who both initiates and escalates hostilities.
"breaks Lupin's secrecy in petty revenge."
So Lupin implies. But nobody ever appreciates a whistleblower, especially the exposed wrongdoers (and that's what Lupin is).
That night, Snape heard Lupin confess to wilful endangerment of the entire school community and neighbourhood, both as a teen and (by withholding vital security information) during the *entirety* of his employment as a teacher. He has seen Lupin's disregard for the safety of others repeatedly demonstrated, first by his failure to collect his Wolfsbane, then by his failure to separate himself from the children despite being reminded of the danger, then by his negligence/carelessness wrt injured-Snape. And he has seen Dumbledore protect the criminal werewolf from justice. To keep the students safe from Lupin, who has shown himself to be a danger to all, what alternative to exposure is there?
"doubt he managed to forgive"
Snape and Harry are the *only* characters in canon that ever return good for evil to past enemies. Snape warns Dumbledore in OotP that Umbridge is after Sirius and tries to save Lupin's life in DH, although they have remained entirely careless of his life and limb as adults.
Yes, Lupin too; he left a "lifeless"-looking Snape unconscious in the Shack for the better part of an hour without even checking he was alive until they left it, and then gave only the most cursory check (pulse only) and no treatment. Without checking for neck or spinal injury, he then lifted him with a head-lolling Mobilicorpus and let someone who'd once tried to kill him (and still didn't regret it) transport him unsupported and unstabilised down a narrow passage, bumping his head repeatedly against the ceiling.
"wangled a debt from it (by Severus's view)"
No. It's Dumbledore who suggests it is a debt. Snape sees the incident as a trap set by James. He says so to both Lily and Harry, and even when Voldemort targets the Potters on his information, it's *Lily* Snape's concerned about; there's no indication either that he's concerned about his supposed debt to James or that Dumbledore expects him to be.
duj
Re: reassessing
Possibly that you haven't reassessed all the old information in light of the new?
Quite possible, actually -- I've spent the last year residing in a different state from my copies of the books! (Incredibly frustrating.) I'm definitely looking forward to a leisurely re-read as soon as we're all together in the same city again, and things may well fall into different patterns for me then... I think I may have to take notes wherever Snape is mentioned. :D