InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Time to make the donuts"

shoeboxes4all (shoeboxes4all) wrote in severus_sighs,
@ 2010-03-15 21:53:00

Current location:	under a cat
Entry tags:	drabble, member: shoebox, pairing: severus/harry, rating: pg

By Dose - for snow's birthday
Title: By Dose
Author: shoeboxes4all
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: PG
Word Count: 643 give or take
Warnings: Blood and snot?
Summary: In which Severus gets cross and shouts a bit. No news there then.
A/N: A bit of silliness for snow. Happy birthday, lovely. I nicked LD7's prompts - tea cosy, ball of yarn, kitten. Unbetad - all mistakes are my own. These characters are not mine, they were created by someone else. I just give them stuff to do in their spare time. No antimacassars were harmed in the making of this story.

"A-a-a-tchoooo! Podder!"

"Severus?"

"Where id it?"

"What?"

"It...aaaatchooo..you dow bery well whad I am dalking aboud."

Severus blew his nose noisily, as only he could.

"De cad, de cad. You dow I am anergic do cads."

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about. There are no cad...cats here. Honestly Severus, do you really think that I'd bring one into the house knowing how ill they make you?"

At that moment Miss Posey Tippytoes chose her moment to make an appearance.

"Mreow?"

"Aha, der id is. I dew it. How cood you?"

Harry snatched the kitten up as Severus, eyes streaming, nose dripping, swooped to throw it out.

"Don't you dare! I couldn't just leave her rootling in a dumpster for scraps. You would have done the same."

"Oh do I woodn't. I may hab pud de wretched thin out of ids misery. I may hab made id indo a tea cosy. I mosd certainly wood nod have broud an unhygienic creadure thad licks ids own arse indo our home. Get rid of id, Harry."

"Please, Severus." Harry was whining in a most unattractive fashion. "Look at her little pink nose and white whiskers. She's so cute and so young. I can't just throw her out on the street again. Can't you make a potion for your allergy?"

Harry's universal translator began to kick in.

"Had you paid any sort of attention to your classes, Harry, you would know that there is no wizarding cure for this affliction. I'm a bloody potions master! Don't you think I'd have done something about it by now IF I COULD?"

"Alright, alright, keep your hair on. What about antihistamines then?"

"I refer you to my previous statement. Those muggle drugs have no effect on wizard physiology."

The kitten waggled its cute white allergenic whiskers at Severus and snuggled down into Harry's arms, looking smug as only a cat can.

"A-A-ATCHOO!" The force of the sneeze caused Severus stagger, propelling him towards a ball of yarn on the floor. Tripping on said ball he crashed to the floor, managing to smash his face on his belovedly hard-and-uncomfortable-according-to-Harry armchair on the way down.

He lay on the floor, groaning quietly.

"Oh gods, are you alright?"

"Do i loob alri'? By dose id broken."

"Severus?"

"By. Dose. Id. Broken."

Harry helped him up onto the sofa where his nose dripped blood and snot all over his mother's antique antimacassar.

"I'll get some tissues."

"Sobetibes Podder I wonder if you a'tually are a wizard. USE YOUR WAND MAN!"

"Oh, right, yeah." Harry pointed his wand at the dripping nose. "Episkey!" Severus winced as the bone and gristle knitted itself back together.

---

Several boxes of tissues later (for the cat-related snot), Miss Posey Tippytoes is safely housed in the kitchen with a saucer of milk and a nice warm blanket. Our intrepid heroes are ensconced on the comfy sofa. Poor beleaguered Severus is propped up on several cushions, milking the situation for all it is worth. Poor put-upon Harry is pouring a nice cup of tea. Black with one sugar, just the way Severus likes it.

"I'm sorry. I'll find a new home for her. Maybe Hermione needs a friend for Crookshanks."

Severus sighs, despite everything he cannot stay cross with the boy for long. "Harry, I am well aware that you how much you gave up when we took up together. Your hopes and dreams of a family for me, for us. Not really a fair swap in my opinion." He held up a hand. "Now, don't interrupt me when I'm being nice. Merlin knows it doesn't happen often. If you want to keep the wretched feline we'll manage. Somehow."

"Really?"

"Really. But, mark my words, you WILL pay for this."

Harry grins ruefully, waggling his eyebrows at his lover. "I was sort of counting on it..."

fin

(Post a new comment)

	dgpolo 2010-03-15 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	Poor Severus! Poor nose! but I Love the universal translator, it should be used more often, maybe for Hagrid. Very funny, sweet story. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	thank you - I'm glad you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lillibet4 2010-03-15 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	Sniggers Very cool, very sweet, very funny. I love all the things fanon comes up with that wizards are resistant to. Loved the cat's name and the fact that Severus might have turned her into a tea-cosy. I can just imagine him sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper and a brew as Harry frantically searches for the missing kitten... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	he would, wouldn't he. :lol: thank you for the nice comments. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	winoniel 2010-03-15 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Wonderfully, hysterically funny! It had to be really difficult to write all of that congest-talk! But so worth it for your readers. Poor Severus, of all the parts of his body to be affected, his nose has to have the greatest impact. And you had him go all noble on Harry (with a Slytherin agenda, of course!) Well done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	hmm I spent most of the writing of it holding my nose and speaking out loud. The things we do for fic! 8) He's a big old softie really I think, esp where Harry is concerned. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sweetmelodykiss 2010-03-16 12:06 am UTC (link)
	Oh, Severus' poor abused nose. Lol! That was delightful! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:09 pm UTC (link)
	thank you 8) - he does seem to fall over a lot in my writings. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	littleroo27 2010-03-16 12:57 am UTC (link)
	ahahahaha, I've so been there... and now I live with FOUR CATS and take allergy meds every day to put up with them, lol. Poor Sev! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	me too - only I'm down to just one cat now. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	conzieu 2010-03-16 01:10 am UTC (link)
	Sweet! Wow, nothing says true love like accepting to live with a cat when you are allergic! I hope Harry realizes that, and makes it up to Severus every way he can, and that you will write us a piece about THAT! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	hmm someone else might have to do that. 8) I only do prat falls and comedy, with a bit of angst thrown in atm :lol: (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lemondropseven 2010-03-16 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Hahaha! Love it - so adorable and hilarious. Poor Severus. XD LD7 (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so glad you liked it, even if nobody died. Hurrah! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	accio_kilt 2010-03-16 08:55 am UTC (link)
	Uncontrolled giggling has ensued... success achieved. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	yay! So glad you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fancypantsdylan 2010-03-16 10:51 am UTC (link)
	aww poor Severus pets and I just loved the universal translator line. Lovely, fluffy and funny (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	yeah, it was a useful plot device. It would have been funnier if I could have kept the stuffed nose talk up while he ranted on but I just couldn't. such a lightweight! Glad you liked it anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent)

atypicalsnowman
2010-03-16 04:01 pm UTC (link)

Okay, this was the cutest thing ever.

First, how did you know I love fics where someone has a stuffy/broken nose. It's weird, I know, but I love fics where Severus especially speaks like, "I hab a code, you ibiot."

It's just...adorable to me.

And second, you really ran with the cute plot. This was so much fun to read and was just a breath of fresh air. The manipulation at the end (mentioning Crookshanks) was just tops.

Oh, and Miss Posey Tippytoes is the best name for Harry's kitten ever.

Wonderful birthday gift! Thank you so much, darling. *blows kisses across the pond*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	well I had no clue - but I'm very glad that I had the idea. I'm so pleased that you liked it. :blows kisses back: (Reply to this) (Parent)

	countesszero 2010-03-17 11:37 am UTC (link)
	oh! sicky, sniffy, stuffy nosed severus! sooo cuuute! dies of cuteness oberdode (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	thank you 8) so glad you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	torino10154 2010-03-17 04:47 pm UTC (link)
	LOL Oh, poor Severus. giggles Nice job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	He'll get over it once Harry starts making it up to him properly. 8) so glad you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kayakaari 2010-03-18 12:37 am UTC (link)
	Miss Posey Tippytoes! I love the name!!! Cute story too but I confess I really love the name the most! Honestly, Harry! LOL I wonder what Severus thinks the first time he hears the cat's name. HEHEHEHEHE! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shoeboxes4all 2010-03-21 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Miss Posey Tippytoes is a perfectly normal name for a cat. :lol: Severus will never call her by her name, it'll always be 'your cat' or 'that wretched feline' while secretly sneaking her bits of fish and the top of the milk. (Reply to this) (Parent)