8:49 AM
On a note completely unrelated to anything previously mentioned: attention all landlord(s) and fellow stray(s), please schedule your last shower/wash/rinse/bathroom escapade in the apartment 24 hours in advance. For reasons.
Also please ignore the sack of doorknobs and faucets by the door. It won't bother you if you won't bother it.
Also please ignore the sack of doorknobs