GARRETT HAWKE + FENRIS
G | COMPLETE
A REAL REUNION SINCE THEY HAVE THEIR MEMORIES BACK
When he’d first discovered the note Hawke left him before running off to save the world alone, Fenris had been furious and hurt in equal measures. He and Hawke were meant to be partners, equals, and Fenris did not appreciate being treated like a child or a possession that needed protection. He didn’t appreciate being left, either. It had taken some months of raging around the coast of the Waking Sea, acting as a one-man disruption to slaving operations there, before Fenris’s fury began to subside. The pain took longer to go; for a few months more, he hadn’t thought he’d even be able to look at Hawke without making a fool of himself in some fashion or another. Fenris spent that time on Isabela’s ship, continuing to leave a trail of slaver corpses up and down the coast and drinking entirely too much wine and not talking about it with Isabela.
Then the letter from Hawke had come--to Isabela, asking if she’d seen Fenris. Asking her to tell Fenris he was all right, that he missed him, that he loved him, and that he was sorry for leaving as he had. Fenris hadn’t been quite ready to come running home yet; he was still upset, and he got angry all over again when he read the letter. The fact was, though, that Fenris loved Hawke, and he missed him desperately. He wanted to go home. So Isabela’s response said, quite simply, to give Fenris some time.
By the time they reached their next port, Fenris had decided he’d had enough time. The things that were left to be worked out were only going to be worked out with Hawke, not away from him. It was time to go back to Kirkwall. He announced his intention to Isabela in a pub in Antiva City, just before he swiped his change up off the bar top.
That was when things got strange.
He must have passed out, Fenris thought. He didn’t think he’d had that much to drink. But he’d been in a world he didn’t recognize, doing things he didn’t know were possible, and he’d been about to marry Hawke. It had been a comfortable, pleasant place, for all that everything about it seemed very strange--and now he was in the Atlantis everybody had been talking about, apparently. In a room he’d never seen before, learning the basics of where he was and what was happening. He didn’t pay as much attention as he ought to’ve, because the only thing he could think about was that he needed to make sure Hawke was all right--if he was in fact here. He’d been in Breckentale. Hopefully that meant he could be found here, as well. Fenris had been taking on his own world alone for the last year, and he was already tired of that; he certainly didn’t want to deal with a new world by himself.
Hawke was relieved to wake up back in Atlantis, even if it had taken a moment to get his bearings in a new house. He’d spent the last day readying an expedition to come find Fenris, but he’d also been feeling a little cowardly. The last message he’d gotten had been Isabela’s so what if Fenris still wanted time?
In the end, he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the love of his life to adjust to this second strange world with memories of the other still lingering and no sign of Hawke himself. He looked up Fenris’ location in the tablet and hurried over. Once he was at the door, he very nearly just walked right in. It felt foreign to stop at the door and knock like a stranger, but what could he do?
“Fenris? Are you in there?” He tried to peer through the hole in the door, knowing full well it didn’t work like that. “I know that was mad, and I--well, I don’t know if you want to see me, but can you at least come out and tell me to get lost face to face so I can see that you’re well?”
Hawke had barely finished getting the words out when the door flung open. Instead of words, he was met with an elf running straight into his chest and arms flung around him. Yes, Fenris had needed time, and he’d taken it, and now everything was turned upside down and seeing Hawke brought a joy and relief too overwhelming for words. Fenris had thought a hundred different times about what he would say when he saw Hawke again, and now he felt as though if he tried to actually say anything he might fall to pieces. Talking would have to wait a moment.
“Oof.” Hawke froze for a moment in surprise and then melted into Fenris' embrace, enveloping him in his arms. Of all the possible scenarios he’d considered for this reunion, this was by far the best. And the one he'd marked foolishly optimistic. He should have know Fenris would surprise him.
He rested his cheek against the top of Fenris’ head and squeezed him a little tighter. “I’ve missed you terribly,” Hawke murmured, his full of feeling. “As odd as it feels to say that after all these strange weeks.”
“I have missed you, as well,” Fenris quietly replied. He let it stay at that for a moment, taking quiet pleasure in simply being together again as their proper selves. It had been much too long, and though he’d felt that he needed time to figure things out, Fenris was still relieved and happy to be back where he belonged.
Finally, he pulled back--not much, just enough to look up at Hawke and meet his eyes. “I understand now that your intentions were good, but do not ever leave me like that again.”
Hawke gave Fenris a little breathing room, but he couldn’t quite let go of him just yet. His hands rested on Fenris’ arms, caressing lightly. He had many regrets, but Fenris staring up at him and putting him in his place inspired a special kind of shame. The instinct to pour out his reasoning flared, and then passed just as quickly as it came. He smiled tightly instead, apologetically, and raised his hands to cradle Fenris’ face.
“Never again,” he vowed. After a moment, his fingers drifted away from the sharp edges of Fenris’ jaw to graze lovingly up the curves of his ears. “It’s good to see you looking like you again.”
As far as Fenris was concerned, that year-long issue was now settled. Hawke understood, and if he said he’d never do anything like that again, he meant it. If Hawke couldn’t make that promise, he would have said as much. The matter, then, was resolved, and they could get on with their lives together.
“For all the times that I’ve wished the lyrium out of my skin and the white out of my hair, I did not like looking in the mirror and seeing it so,” he said, and gave a little smile at the touch of Hawke’s fingertips on his ears. “I also had no idea human feet were so sensitive. No wonder you all wear boots all the time.”
“Just think…,” Hawke said with a smirk, “…if we’d stayed long enough to experience winter, you would have needed all the fireside foot rubs a sensitive little human could stand.” There was a seriousness to his tone still, despite his warm stare. His nerves just hadn’t quite eased yet, and they likely wouldn’t for a while. He’d earned this uncertainty, though. It didn’t feel right not to stew in it. Well, stew in it and stare at Fenris’ beloved face, as familiar to Hawke as his own.
“Can I can come in?” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and smiled self-consciously. “Or do you want to stay out here? The weather is nice, I could hardly blame you.”
“You should come in.” Fenris stepped back to give Hawke room to do so, but he still didn’t move far away. Half his brain thought he’d spoken to Hawke just the day before, complaining about his broken phone, while the other half wasn’t sure what a phone was and had been desperately missing Hawke for a full year. The latter part was mostly winning out at the moment, leaving Fenris utterly disinterested in moving away from Hawke for any reason. As soon as Hawke was in the door, Fenris shut it behind him and stepped in for another hug. He’d get around to kisses and tearing Hawke’s clothes off in a bit, but the first thing he wanted was simple affection.
Hawke smiled into Fenris’ hair and huffed a quiet little laugh. “Watch it. You’ll spoil me and then where will we be,” he teased.
He did feel a little looser, inside and back in Fenris’ embrace. Maybe it wasn’t right to take advantage of Fenris being disorientated by that strange world, but he was weak. His time with the Inquisition had hardly been enjoyable and so far, this place had toyed with him and those he loved. He’d talked to Carver over the phone, for fuck’s sake. He needed a little comfort as much as Fenris likely did.
Shaking off those grim thoughts, Hawke kissed Fenris’ temple and then pulled around to look down at him. “Do you want to catch up on Thedas shenanigans, talk about this madhouse, or just curl up somewhere warm and forget other people exist for a few hours? It’s your call, but I’m sure you can guess my vote.”
“The latter,” Fenris readily agreed. He suspected that would be Hawke’s favorite of the suggestions as well. “We can discuss the madness and catch up after we’re settled.” Fenris did want to do those things—he wanted to hear from Hawke how things had gone with the Inquisition, and he wanted to tell Hawke all about sailing with Isabela, and of course he had a number of questions about this world he'd found himself in...but first, all he really wanted was some time with his lover whom he hadn't seen in a year, preferably someplace with a bed and cozy blankets.
Hawke gave a relieved smile and wrapped Fenris up in a bear hug, lifting him up off the ground. He made it a few steps before he realized he had no idea which of the rooms was Fenris’ and so he paused with a comical squint.
“This was going to be romantic, carrying you off to bed, but I’ve already come to the conclusion that I’m lost. Inside a house. It’s a new record, isn’t it?” He huffed a laugh and stole a soft little kiss. “Point me in the right direction, love. We’ll make up for lost time and then talk to your heart’s content.”
Fenris laughed softly as he leaned into Hawke’s shoulder and pointed the correct direction. Oh, how he had missed this. The affection, the silliness, this man who’d stolen his heart the first time they met, the deep and unshakeable knowledge that he was loved and he was never truly alone. Fenris had missed all of it desperately, and he never intended to be without it again.
“I love you,” he said softly. Fenris didn't say it in so many words often, but after repeatedly jumping universes and going a whole year without saying anything at all to each other, he thought it needed stating.
The point was enough to move Hawke in the right direction, but he lowered Fenris just as they got to the door. It was good timing, at least, because Fenris saying I love you always had a tendency of kicking him in the chest. In a good way, not in a that druffalo just trampled me way. Hawke smiled slow and wide, and lifted a hand to graze the back of his gentle along Fenris’ jaw.
“I love you too,” he said, deadly serious but warm. He opened the door to the bedroom and gripped Fenris’ hips to urge him backwards into the room. “So much.”