InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Insouciant."

Bruce Banner (isalwaysangry) wrote in rooms,
@ 2014-12-01 11:33:00

Entry tags:

*journal, bruce banner, jane foster, martha jones, selina kyle

martha j, jane foster, selina k
[Locked to Martha Jones and Jane Foster]

How about planning a trip to the Citadel? I promise advanced technology you wouldn't believe and amazing alien races.

[Locked to Selina K]

[Started and stopped a million times, but finally.] Still okay?

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	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-01 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	You're inconstant. You want so much to be liked, so much to be harmless, that you change your opinions and convictions based on whoever you're talking to. It doesn't work, Robert. That's just going to end up with you here, alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-01 07:05 pm UTC (link)
	People keep saying that. I don't care about being liked. I was never liked before, and it doesn't matter if I'm liked now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-01 07:07 pm UTC (link)
	Fine. You don't want to stir the pot or create ripples. Whatever the reason? The result is the same. You're inconstant. It makes you untrustworthy. I've seen it happen over and over and over again, and I know your intentions aren't bad. But you need to stick to your guns about things. Even little things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-01 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	Or maybe I should stop getting involved in things that cause ripples. That would be my preference. I don't want to be involved with any of this. I wouldn't even still be here if you and Tony hadn't asked me to stay. If it was up to me I'd be in the Citadel and far away, or dead, or who knows, some other door where I can be a nameless person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

spacecowboys
2014-12-01 07:22 pm UTC (link)

Robert, you have opinions. You aren't a meek man. I call you mild-mannered, but I'm joking. You meddle, you get involved. Stop taking the easy way out and just man-up and say what you think and stick to it. For the love of god, it's not that hard. I've seen you do it. I know you can, so just treat everyone else like you treat me.

If you think it's wrong to hide a child, don't agree. If you think it's wrong to turn her in, then say so. If you care about something, take a stand. At the very least? Don't change your mind. Don't tell people about confidential medical things. If you feel you can't treat me because of our involvement, then just say so.

It's time to grow up, Bobby. Hiding is just another cop-out. You fucked something up? Help fix it. And, for the record? You're not Tony Stark. Don't parrot his beliefs or live in his shadow.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

isalwaysangry
2014-12-01 09:03 pm UTC (link)

I wouldn't have turned her in if it wasn't my choice. Turning her in was dangerous for me, but I did it because at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. I haven't said otherwise. I am sorry I hurt Gwen and I explained to her my reasoning as much as I could. I'm sorry that it means she doesn't trust me anymore, and I understand why. I was sorry that I hurt Jason and made his situation public, but I did it because I thought it would save lives and it would help him. I agreed to treat you in an emergency because you aren't capable of making good decisions when it comes to your health, and since you won't see other doctors or admit when there's a problem, I worry that you'll make worse decisions than if I talk to you. Of course I'm a little more concerned with the fact you can use me as a way for people not to worry about you, oh my doctor friend said I'd live so don't worry. When they should worry because half of the time you're not even listening to me. Feeling bad or guilty about my decisions is because I'm sorry I hurt someone I cared about. Would I make different decisions if I knew where it was going? Of course I would, but I made decisions with the information I had at my disposal in that moment.

I can't fix it. I have no ability to fix it. I'm a nobody. I have no strings to pull and no influence in this place. And Tony's the person who without fail has supported and cared about me no matter what happens. Pretty much for my entire life, I've never had anyone who watched my back like that, who cared that I existed. He left Malibu the second I called him and flew back here, to protect me. If I live in his shadow, it's because we're safe there, and I don't care what that makes me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-01 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	I had that little girl in my home, I took care of her, I bought her books and toys and food and it's all still in my living room that I haven't gone into since she was gone. If people think that I made that decision because I panicked or that it was easy, they're insane. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

spacecowboys
2014-12-01 09:17 pm UTC (link)

I'm not actually talking about specifics. I was giving you examples of the things you do. And you're still doing it. You're also not listening to a thing I'm saying. I don't care what Tony does for you. I don't care why you did the things you did. I'm telling you that you're inconstant. You can't keep going back and forth on things, and you can't keep acting like a kicked dog if you want things to change.

If you want things to stay the same? Then fine. Don't listen. If you want to not be in this situation again? Then don't throw yourself a pity party. Don't hide or run away. Stand up for what you believe, and trust Tony to still be your friend regardless.

Right now? You're a person that constantly changes. No one can trust that, Bobby. Even with me? You push because I told you to. Who is Robert Banner? Without all our influence. Mine, Tony's, even Steve's - without that, who are you?

I would keep pointing things out, but you're just going to make it about specifics. I'm not talking about specifics. I'm talking about you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-01 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	Apparently I'm an inconstant, untrustworthy, self-pitying kicked dog, so there's your answer. I didn't want to talk about any of this. I wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

spacecowboys
2014-12-01 09:29 pm UTC (link)

Don't. I asked if you wanted to have this conversation, and you said yes. If you don't want to listen? That's fine. If you want to twist what I'm saying? That's fine too. But it doesn't change what I meant, and it doesn't change the fact that I'm trying to help you not end up in these situations anymore.

You do act like a kicked dog. You do pity yourself. You are inconstant, and inconstant people are, by their very nature, impossible trust. You don't like any of that? Change it. If it's not who you want to be? Change it.

And I'm sorry if I'm being blunt, but I've spent weeks in a mob house, and I have no fucking idea where I am, and I haven't heard from anyone in almost twenty-fours. The clock is ticking, and I need to decide if I'm taking over these families, and for all I know Bruce might be dead. I'm a little stressed right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

isalwaysangry
2014-12-01 09:36 pm UTC (link)

No, it's irritating to me, because you know me better than anyone else here. I've told you things I've never told any other person. I put my heart on the line and I was honest with you and I shared my fears and thoughts. Even Betty didn't know me the way you do, because I never told her about the darkest parts of myself, she didn't know the stories. How can you ask who Robert Banner is when you're the person who has actually met him? But you don't know who I am? You don't trust me at all, after everything we've been through, Jesus what is the point of all of this?

I'm sorry, I really am, and I'm sure someone will check in soon. And you're someone who actually does make decisions and stand by them, so whatever you do with the families, whatever that means, I expect it'll be the best decision you can make.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

spacecowboys
2014-12-01 09:42 pm UTC (link)

See? You bitch at me. If anyone else said this? You'd shut down or apologize or do something equally sabotaging.

I care about you. I'm telling you how to get along with the rest of the world, Robert. Not with me. I'm here, aren't I? I haven't gone anywhere.

And I've told you a thousand times to just treat other people like you treat me. I get it. But you won't do it. And you end up in situations like this, where I worry that you're going to hurt yourself instead of just running into outer space. I want you to not end up here again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-01 10:39 pm UTC (link)
	You're different. You're special. You know that. I can't duplicate the way we talk to each other, because it's unique. [...] That was just a [...] bad few seconds, don't worry about it. If I wanted to die still I'd be dead. I know how to do it, and I know it's possible now, so if I really had that death wish, it would be over. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-01 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	Why can't you at least try to do what I'm suggesting, you stubbornly stupid man? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Selina K/Robert B

isalwaysangry
2014-12-02 03:17 am UTC (link)

Because I have tried, Selina. You're not in on all my conversations, you don't know how I talk to other people, or how I've tried, only what they've told you. I'm a fuck up the way you're a thief, it seems to be as natural to me as breathing. I very much appreciate you haven't abandoned my stubbornly stupid self yet. And I'd much rather talk about the families right now, you mean the mob?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-02 04:42 am UTC (link)
	I have this sinking feeling that your version of trying doesn't actually count. Stand your ground next time. Just do that one thing for me. Don't apologize, don't give in. Stand your ground. Yes, the mob. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-02 12:35 pm UTC (link)
	I'm always going to apologize when I hurt someone, even if I think it was the right decision. What decision about the mob? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-02 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	That isn't what I- [Cursor. A few minutes go by.] I have to go. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-02 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	What happened? Are you okay? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B spacecowboys 2014-12-02 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. Fine. I'll check-in soon. [Cursor. Nothing further.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Selina K/Robert B isalwaysangry 2014-12-02 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. I'll be here. [Worries.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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