Bruce Banner (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} isalwaysangry) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} rooms, |
I wouldn't have turned her in if it wasn't my choice. Turning her in was dangerous for me, but I did it because at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. I haven't said otherwise. I am sorry I hurt Gwen and I explained to her my reasoning as much as I could. I'm sorry that it means she doesn't trust me anymore, and I understand why. I was sorry that I hurt Jason and made his situation public, but I did it because I thought it would save lives and it would help him. I agreed to treat you in an emergency because you aren't capable of making good decisions when it comes to your health, and since you won't see other doctors or admit when there's a problem, I worry that you'll make worse decisions than if I talk to you. Of course I'm a little more concerned with the fact you can use me as a way for people not to worry about you, oh my doctor friend said I'd live so don't worry. When they should worry because half of the time you're not even listening to me. Feeling bad or guilty about my decisions is because I'm sorry I hurt someone I cared about. Would I make different decisions if I knew where it was going? Of course I would, but I made decisions with the information I had at my disposal in that moment.
I can't fix it. I have no ability to fix it. I'm a nobody. I have no strings to pull and no influence in this place. And Tony's the person who without fail has supported and cared about me no matter what happens. Pretty much for my entire life, I've never had anyone who watched my back like that, who cared that I existed. He left Malibu the second I called him and flew back here, to protect me. If I live in his shadow, it's because we're safe there, and I don't care what that makes me.