InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "teal dear"

Saint Reilly (shutterbugged) wrote in rooms,
@ 2014-11-08 11:59:00

Entry tags:

*journal, evangeline sablier, lin alesi, louis donovan, preston rawlings, saint reilly, wren henry

Public, Wren H, Evie S, Preston R, Louis D, Lin A
[Public]

No one died this time. Did they?

[Wren H]

You came through okay. Right?

[Evie S]

No crying this time. But no tea. Was yours better this time around?

[Preston R]

All right?

[Louis D]

I'm running out of ways to ask people if they're okay. Are you?

[Lin A]

Survived it? Skipped it?

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-13 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	Charles says he can turn it off for a while I think I might take him up on it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-13 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	Would that help? And you'd trust him now? [Pleased and then thoughtful. A series of images: street-side cafes heaving with people, the movie theater, a restaurant with very clean white linen.] You wouldn't need to be lonely. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 05:40 am UTC (link)
	I have to. He could already, if he really wanted to. [It's hard for him to imagine that, hard for him to be under the power of another, even theoretical. He likes the ordinariness of Saint's framed imaginary images, clings to them even, though they lose their extracolored beauty once they are Preston's and not Saint's.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 05:42 am UTC (link)
	But he wouldn't. If you didn't want him to. Unless you were a danger. [Saint is certain: half a dozen panels of brightly-colored comic books flash to mind, but his mind is still trickling through places in the background.] What would you do? First. If you could? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 05:48 am UTC (link)
	[Preston remembers Xavier's reputation too, though his memory is colored in bold lines of a vague half-remembered cartoon.] I need to go home and pick things up. I need to apologize to Steve. [He tries the text thing with Steve's name. It kind of works. There's a lot of heat there.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 05:51 am UTC (link)
	Do you need things now? [A memory: the walk in the heat of the day, the ceiling fans, wooden floors. It's like a series of photographs played together rather than a movie, snapshots rather than an uninterrupted stream of imagery.] Why do you need to apologize to Steve? [Any change in tempo or temperament is calmly observed and absorbed] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

ex_clerk820
2014-11-14 06:02 am UTC (link)

Steve picked them up for me. [Uncanny flickers of another connection; memory of experience that is not physical. Steve is pure understanding, somewhat idealized in Preston's mind, like a candle in dusk. He is welcoming, accepting, deeply human. It is not a surprise Preston thinks of him this way. He does a good job of keeping the intimacy of that connection somewhat distant, but not nearly enough. It is not like his calm, serene sensation with Saint, also good, different and good. The contrast is deep with the connection what it is.] He was being nice.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

shutterbugged
2014-11-14 06:06 am UTC (link)

[Understanding kindles. Saint doesn't reach down the connection to better substantiate the feeling, but there's an awareness on the other end. The cigarette is idling.] Ah. [Captain America: Saint's mind provides the imagery from Veteran's Day, the photographs of the man.] He is nice. [There's no reservation from the other side of the connection but a pause: the smell and taste of the lukewarm coffee permeates.] That's why?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:09 am UTC (link)
	He's nice, and I'm sort of... selfish. [There's a lot of hellfire imagery in the latter adjective. Sometimes the negativity in Preston's mind has a tendency to express itself in disturbing religious imagery.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:14 am UTC (link)
	[If Saint could douse the imagery he would. The calm sullies the connection, is dampening like a blanket.] Why do you think you're selfish? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:27 am UTC (link)
	Just greedy. [Gripping hands rather than money is the accompaniment to this concept. Overtones of lust.] And then when I don't get it, I'm resentful. You wouldn't know. You're forgiving, like him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:32 am UTC (link)
	It's not greedy to want things. [Mild.] You know I'm not actually a saint, right? I feel resentment. And wanting things. [There's a stir in the connection as if Saint is suppressing those things from resurrecting into a series of pictures.] You wanted something from him. That's not greedy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:50 am UTC (link)
	You don't resent like me. And even when you do, you don't think it at people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

shutterbugged
2014-11-14 06:55 am UTC (link)

Oh. [Snap. Saint doesn't think of thinking at people in the same way. It's images (again) but ones that push forward, the sharpness of black and white enhanced, the technicolor amped up. A flurry, exhaustive - this time it's moments, leaving made difficult, pretending, a ceiling fan, a flit into high-school but one after the other too quickly to really look.]

You're human. You feel. And it's [Pause.] real. People know when they've hurt someone. Even if they didn't mean it. They know there's wanting. Not having. It's just truth. Unvarnished. But truth. Steve knows already. Do you think if he didn't know, he wouldn't think you'd feel the same?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

ex_clerk820
2014-11-14 07:06 am UTC (link)

[He's surprised by the many images. With Preston it's emotion, sensation in emotion, but he tries to parse through the imagery in his own sadly two-dimensional way. He shrinks away from the hint of high school though. Those four years, even the memory of being a teenager, the thought of desks, of halls, just terror. Pause to collect his thoughts.]

He knows about that truth. I don't understand what you mean, about what he'd think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:11 am UTC (link)
	[Saint's emotions are the backs of cards, the image turned over tied to them. But the images don't stay long enough to give weight to their undercurrents. Calm: deep blue.] I meant. If you weren't thinking it at him. He'd still know. He'd just base it on his own version of resentment. Of wanting things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:12 am UTC (link)
	He wouldn't know. [Sure.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Alright. Maybe the Professor's intervention will help. But he does have faults. Steve. He's not perfect. It's just you don't know his imperfections the same way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:18 am UTC (link)
	Everyone has imperfections. They feel them. They think them. I know them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:26 am UTC (link)
	Oh. [Pause.] Yes. That makes sense. [The sensation of putting one thumb to eye-socket, pressing; thinking ripples the connection. Saint making an internal catalog of his own imperfections: distance, unhelpful, impractical, wanting: not images but curls of color. The guilty sensation filters through.] That's a lot to see. All at once. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:28 am UTC (link)
	[Fond smile.] Yes. You would not be you without those. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:33 am UTC (link)
	[The mental image is of a hand folding over a set of cards: the connection rings rueful.] At least I know them. But I wouldn't want to see everyone's. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:49 am UTC (link)
	[..] It makes me a kinder person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	[Confusion is mint green. It's coupled with the memory, of his own apartment being investigated.] You're kind. [The memory merges with before: blood, a staircase, Las Vegas.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-16 04:25 am UTC (link)
	[Preston had never thought of confusion as that particular color. Preston likes green; to him, it is a clean color, a natural color.] I am kinder. Believe me. People are soft on the inside. They bruise and bleed easily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)