InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Belly!!!!!!"

Saint Reilly (shutterbugged) wrote in rooms,
@ 2014-11-08 11:59:00

Entry tags:

*journal, evangeline sablier, lin alesi, louis donovan, preston rawlings, saint reilly, wren henry

Public, Wren H, Evie S, Preston R, Louis D, Lin A
[Public]

No one died this time. Did they?

[Wren H]

You came through okay. Right?

[Evie S]

No crying this time. But no tea. Was yours better this time around?

[Preston R]

All right?

[Louis D]

I'm running out of ways to ask people if they're okay. Are you?

[Lin A]

Survived it? Skipped it?

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	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:09 am UTC (link)
	He's nice, and I'm sort of... selfish. [There's a lot of hellfire imagery in the latter adjective. Sometimes the negativity in Preston's mind has a tendency to express itself in disturbing religious imagery.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:14 am UTC (link)
	[If Saint could douse the imagery he would. The calm sullies the connection, is dampening like a blanket.] Why do you think you're selfish? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:27 am UTC (link)
	Just greedy. [Gripping hands rather than money is the accompaniment to this concept. Overtones of lust.] And then when I don't get it, I'm resentful. You wouldn't know. You're forgiving, like him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:32 am UTC (link)
	It's not greedy to want things. [Mild.] You know I'm not actually a saint, right? I feel resentment. And wanting things. [There's a stir in the connection as if Saint is suppressing those things from resurrecting into a series of pictures.] You wanted something from him. That's not greedy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 06:50 am UTC (link)
	You don't resent like me. And even when you do, you don't think it at people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

shutterbugged
2014-11-14 06:55 am UTC (link)

Oh. [Snap. Saint doesn't think of thinking at people in the same way. It's images (again) but ones that push forward, the sharpness of black and white enhanced, the technicolor amped up. A flurry, exhaustive - this time it's moments, leaving made difficult, pretending, a ceiling fan, a flit into high-school but one after the other too quickly to really look.]

You're human. You feel. And it's [Pause.] real. People know when they've hurt someone. Even if they didn't mean it. They know there's wanting. Not having. It's just truth. Unvarnished. But truth. Steve knows already. Do you think if he didn't know, he wouldn't think you'd feel the same?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R.

ex_clerk820
2014-11-14 07:06 am UTC (link)

[He's surprised by the many images. With Preston it's emotion, sensation in emotion, but he tries to parse through the imagery in his own sadly two-dimensional way. He shrinks away from the hint of high school though. Those four years, even the memory of being a teenager, the thought of desks, of halls, just terror. Pause to collect his thoughts.]

He knows about that truth. I don't understand what you mean, about what he'd think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:11 am UTC (link)
	[Saint's emotions are the backs of cards, the image turned over tied to them. But the images don't stay long enough to give weight to their undercurrents. Calm: deep blue.] I meant. If you weren't thinking it at him. He'd still know. He'd just base it on his own version of resentment. Of wanting things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:12 am UTC (link)
	He wouldn't know. [Sure.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Alright. Maybe the Professor's intervention will help. But he does have faults. Steve. He's not perfect. It's just you don't know his imperfections the same way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:18 am UTC (link)
	Everyone has imperfections. They feel them. They think them. I know them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:26 am UTC (link)
	Oh. [Pause.] Yes. That makes sense. [The sensation of putting one thumb to eye-socket, pressing; thinking ripples the connection. Saint making an internal catalog of his own imperfections: distance, unhelpful, impractical, wanting: not images but curls of color. The guilty sensation filters through.] That's a lot to see. All at once. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:28 am UTC (link)
	[Fond smile.] Yes. You would not be you without those. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 07:33 am UTC (link)
	[The mental image is of a hand folding over a set of cards: the connection rings rueful.] At least I know them. But I wouldn't want to see everyone's. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-14 07:49 am UTC (link)
	[..] It makes me a kinder person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-14 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	[Confusion is mint green. It's coupled with the memory, of his own apartment being investigated.] You're kind. [The memory merges with before: blood, a staircase, Las Vegas.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-16 04:25 am UTC (link)
	[Preston had never thought of confusion as that particular color. Preston likes green; to him, it is a clean color, a natural color.] I am kinder. Believe me. People are soft on the inside. They bruise and bleed easily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-16 04:28 am UTC (link)
	Because they're people. That's a people thing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-16 04:29 am UTC (link)
	Even when they are truly terrible. [The letters again. He tries to shield Saint from the thread of his thoughts.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-16 04:30 am UTC (link)
	You don't want me to see. You've seen truly terrible? I'm sorry. [The jump from one thought to the next is effortless: Saint knows why, parses the rationale, is grateful. Grateful is simple, cinnamon-yellow.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-16 05:13 am UTC (link)
	Humans can be horrible to each other. [Agreeing. He imagines "humans" as the caveman models in the Museum of Natural History.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-16 11:43 am UTC (link)
	[Quiet: it's a trickle, not a torrent. Saint thinks of older couples walking arm in arm, a little girl giving hugs to passers-by, someone standing for a pregnant woman to sit on public transport. Saint doesn't think humans are horrible.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-18 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	[Neither does Preston. But some of them are. His weary half-reticent agreement is clear through the connection, but he makes not attempt at a statement. He basks in Saint's calm for a while, like floating on water.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. shutterbugged 2014-11-18 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	[It's trickles and eddies, the quiescent string of thoughts lap at agreement, scudding over Saint's acknowledgment of the cigarette, the empty coffee.] When you're able to visit, you should visit. After you say hello to Captain America. [There's no audible smile but it's somehow present: slow and sleepy.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Preston R./Saint R. ex_clerk820 2014-11-19 06:31 am UTC (link)
	Maybe. I worry about losing control. Your building might really dislike you then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

shutterbugged, 2014-11-19 06:35 am UTC

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

ex_clerk820, 2014-11-19 06:36 am UTC

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

shutterbugged, 2014-11-19 06:39 am UTC

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

ex_clerk820, 2014-11-19 06:40 am UTC

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

shutterbugged, 2014-11-19 06:43 am UTC

Re: Preston R./Saint R. -

ex_clerk820, 2014-11-21 04:07 am UTC

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