joker would like you to (playalong) wrote in rooms, @ 2014-04-08 01:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | !dc comics, *log, harley quinn, joker, selina kyle |
Who: Joker, Harley, Catwoman
When: Recently!
Where: the old carnival
What: im hunt wabbits kitties!
Warning: violence
The old, abandoned carnival creaked. The salty wind blew over dirty Gotham waters and pushed the ancient, rotting scaffolding this way and that way as if one strong gust would topple the whole thing over. Nothing in Gotham was permanent, everything could be scavenged and no demon would ever be buried under the weight of all this history. The appearance of Joker birthed another monument to unfinished business. This carnival that swayed in the wind but never toppled without a good punchline. A carnival made of mazes and fearsome traps. One that a few had entered already and were either buried under the rusted tracks or hung up like scarecrows on sign posts.
In the heart of it all was the clown’s head. A skeleton mountain made of peeling paint leaking out music that was just as nightmarish as it was alluring. The eyes had lit barrels ablaze with garbage fires. The mouth wide open with that lolling tongue inviting guests inside. The carnival swayed around the clown’s head, pulling in and pushing out like tattered lungs ready to burst.
Inside, there was activity. Men shouting, organ music screeching and an occasional high pitched scream of a laugh. Outside was a little harlequin, waiting to get her puppies in the window back.
“I spy with my little eye,” The Joker’s voice whispered through the shared communicator in Harley’s ear. “A pretty clown princess.” He hehehehed and if she looked up at the left eyes, the tall man in a purple suit waved at her from behind his absurdly large (and possibly made of plastic?) spyglass. “You did wonderfully, now all that’s left is waiting for Miss Kitty. Then, you know what you need to do, right? Ooops, don’t answer that. Never know when the cat is prowling. See you soon, toots.” The line went dead and Joker waved at her merrily before hopping down out of sight.
-
A cold sea breeze blew spray over Harley's bare legs, crawling wetly over the pale white moons of her exposed thighs, as she stood, arms crossed, amid the shells of men and amusement. Gotham was tar and rain, and Harley, as ever, stood out of its warzone colors in a small pink skirt, coupled with a black hoodie she'd taken off the back of some lil hooligan of a kid who'd whistled at her. And even though she had knee-high socks decorated in stripes like Fruit Loops, she was cold out here waitin' for Kitty.
She shivered. Her pigtails stuck to her cheeks, to the back of her neck, anywhere the wind blew them and the spray doused them. Her mascara ran black, gritty.—She wasn't in as good a mood as her puddin'. As the old rollercoasters creaked around her in a litany of salt-bloated wood, rotted with age, she felt downright bad about this whole thing. She didn't want to hurt Kitty. She didn't want to abuse her trust either… but, Mr. J would DIE if she didn't. So she had to, she did!! She just couldn't let her puddin' die, not after he'd just come back.
Even if he was bad.
Even if Kitty was comin' to help her.
Harley turned on one mud-soaked sneaker to look up at Mr. J when his voice buzzed in her ear. She forced a smile—and, boy, was Harl bad at forcin' things. She almost waved at him, when his disappearance reminded her to be discreet. She went back to lookin' out for Kitty, sniffling in the cold.
-
Selina knew it was probably a trap. She knew, but she always gave Harley the benefit of the doubt. Ivy too, for that matter. She came from a world where Ivy could run the Birds, and where Harley could tell Joe to get lost, where it actually stuck. And the Suicide Squad had its flaws, but Harley had gotten free, and she'd found out she could be more than a Clown's toy there. So, Selina hoped. And it was stupid, and she knew it was stupid. Gotham was letting her down left and right, and there was no Bat to come save her if it was a trap. But none of that mattered; it never did.
The abandoned carnival wasn't one of the kitty cat's stomping grounds. It was too old and broken down for anything shiny to be hiding there, and she had expensive tastes. Even still, the dark clouds and even darker sky, they were Gotham through and through, and maybe she'd missed them over in Marvel. The creaking was ominous in a way that was familiar to anyone who had cut their teeth in Gotham's slum. Creak, and there wasn't much difference between old coasters and old fire escapes, rusted through and swaying in the Gotham night.
Now, that clown. That clown, she didn't like. And as soon as she spied the garbage-can eyes, she went up. She didn't add to the creaking, because she was nothing compared to the weight of time on rust and steel and old, falling-apart wood. Black and sleek, goggles down and heat sensors telling her this place wasn't abandoned. But she'd already known that.
She had a gun strapped to each thigh, and a whip around her waist. She didn't like the firepower, the threat of the guns being taken away, but there was no way she was getting near Joe without some range. There were two mini-bombs the utility belt that rode low on her hips, two flash bombs, caltrops, bolas. She was hoping she wouldn't need any of it.
Over, and across, and she crouched on the roof of an abandoned food cart. The water made her suit slick and her hair lank, and she flipped down and landed behind Harley. "Well? What did you get yourself into this time?'
-
It was a trap. It was a trap. Everyone knew it was a trap, and they knew everyone else knew, but the pantomime didn't stop, the puppets jangled at the ends of their strings and the limelight shined calcium light. The show must go on 'n stuff! Harley had made her choice, she would lie in her bed or however that silly sayin' went.—The patter of paws behind her, so quiet under the soft rain, made her start, but when she heard Kitty's voice, the girl in the ill-advised outfit, she blinked and turned. A not-forced smile spread across her face like sunshine.
"Hi, Kitty!" Harley came forward and wrapped her arms around the other woman, without asking, yeah, in a big ol' hug. Maybe she was sinkin' Kitty's ship, in hopes that B-Man would have to fix Mr. J's to fix his pussycat's, but, it didn't mean she didn't love her. Harley was as loyal as she could be to Kitty. It just so happened that her maximum… just wasn't really that high. "Gee, am I glad to see you!"
Harley peeled back from the embrace. She pushed wet hair from her face, before crossing her arms again. She gave the clown head a doleful glance, one that wasn't entirely faked. She didn't even need to say anything else.
-
Twapt, twapt, twap! From the right eye of the giant clown came three darts of tranquilizers right for the kitty cat. Oh, she was such a terrible beast! Trying to give her some of his blood to infect her while the claws were still out would be downright impossible. No, no. She needed to be sedated in the loving arms of her former friend and then dragged back inside for a little blood transfer. Nice and clean. The Joker promised no harm beyond a sickness would come to the pretty cat. Everyone watching should have been so proud he was telling family friendly jokes now.
“Harley! You didn’t tell me it was pussycat season!” Joker called from his perch inside of the eye and then let out a loud laugh before climbing down the scaffolding. He slung the tranquilizer gun over his shoulder and spun around with that giant, world eating smile on his face.
-
Selina laughed. Oh, did she ever.
"Why?" The question was to Harley, not to the Clown.
Sure, she'd expected a trap, but she hadn't actually expected Harley to be in on it. Stupid, stupid, kitty. And the sad thing was that it didn't even surprise her. The first dart stung, and she instinctively reached for her neck, where it had landed, and the other two were safely embedded beneath the skin by the time she pulled the first one out. She reached for one of the guns at her thigh, knowing her time was oh, so short. She managed to lift it, to point in the general direction of the clown climbing down the scaffolding.
But, no, stupid Cat. Run.
She backed up, but the sedative was already, well, sedating. No matter. She shot off a round, and she moved as fast as she could away, limbs already going heavy. She dropped the gun, and she reached for the flash bomb, fumble, but she managed to get it airborne.
"MOVE, Harley!"
Because Selina was nothing if not an idiot, obviously.
-
She moved. Harley squeaked when the darts stuck Kitty, blue eyes wide as Mr. J's smile when the woman in black clawed the needle-points from her neck and back. In a breathless mantra, she recited to herself: "It's okay, it's okay, eek, it's okay!"
But it wasn't okay, and wasn't that the reason they were all gathered here today, friendly little family of rogues that they were? The clown clambered down the clown face, his grin slapped on in a bloody black and his eyes burning, and Harl? Well, Harl was outta there, licketysplit. When Kitty tossed the bomb, she sprung out of the way, instinctively turning away from the point of impact.
She grabbed Kitty's elbow as the woman slowed to syrup, and she helped ease her down, furiously whispering her second mantra as she did so: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
-
The flashbang made his laugh louder and he threw the tranquilizer gun to the ground as he slowly made his way over to where the kitty was cozying up for her catnap. He put one long, white hand on Harley’s shoulder and leaned in to look at the fading prey they had caught in their nets. “She’s sorry, but I’m not!” Joker howled a laugh and then stepped back to watch the tranquilizer work magic on her limbs, turning them into bendy silly putty.
“We’re doing you a favor, Catwoman. We’re finding you a real life Batman to swoop in and save your life. Isn’t that exciting? Oooh! I’m getting chills already.” His hands went to his pocket, but the clown was already looking for something to smack the cat in the head with if she got too frisky. “I couldn’t give you a funny bone if I tried. I can, however, give you some of my very own blood! You’ll be chuckling in no time.” Another curling grin like steam over water and he watched. He waited. He enjoyed every rebellious twitch in the cat’s body.
-
Wasn't that just like Harley? She sold the kitty cat out, but then she made sure that no one fell and hit their head on the floor. And Selina fought it, twitch, and the concerted effort to move. But the most she managed was to scootch back, crawl. It looked pathetic. It was supposed to look pathetic. She had maybe thirty seconds left, and she needed to make them count, especially since she wasn't going to be able to move on her own once those thirty seconds were up.
"Joe, you've been out of town. Whatever you want, the Bat isn't going to give it to you? See, me and the Bat? We don't exactly tango." She almost told him that there was no Bat, but that would give up Dickie's little nighttime flights as fakes, and that would hurt Gotham.
And she really hated herself just then. Gotham wouldn't do anything for her, so why was she doing anything for Gotham?
Fifteen seconds. Her fingers touch the caltrops, and her grip was still okay. Her legs? Useless. But she could move her arm, and Harley was so close.
She grabbed the little harlequin, and she brought the tip of the caltrops to her throat.
A bluff, but maybe this Joe didn't know her well enough to know that. "We're done here. Let me go, and Harley comes back to you, safe and sound. Oh, but she's coming with me as insurance."
Her grip almost faltered.
-
Kitty had her before she knew she was had. Harley blinked, and the millisecond later her eyes opened on, found the point of one of Kitty's toys digging into the pretty white curve of her throat. She swallowed against it, just to see how hard it was being pressed to her skin. With kitty claws caught on her, there wasn't anywhere to go.
Harl looked up at her puddin', her mouth opening, then closing, because she was useless! How did she always end up here? People fightin' over her, but not over her, over themselves. She was cannon fodder—cannon fodder that looked cute in face paint, but cannon fodder all the same.
Almost instantly, she was crying, big, ol' wet tears ruining the massacre of her mascara even more, the tip of her nose turning red. But the self-pity party was brief. A couple blows on those horn thingies, a handful of confetti. Then Harl was cinching Kitty by the wrist and wrenching her hand away with force.
"KITTY, KEEP YOUR CLAWS TO YOURSELF! I AIN'T NO SCRATCHIN' POST."
-
The curtain dropped and suddenly the gleeful friendliness of The Joker vanished behind darkness that could go on for miles. He looked Catwoman in the eyes, telling her that by refusing to play along, she had just doomed an entire city full of innocent citizens. And, then he wondered if that mattered to her at all. What a funny little kitty cat! The Joker gave a giggle and shook his head.
“Now, now. If I wanted to kill you, I would have already. We were going to throw a party and honestly, it doesn’t matter which pretty girl we kidnap to get Batman to show up. It’s too bad you don’t get to be the lucky girl, Catwoman. Maybe next time.” He held his hand out for Harley, deciding that she was the most valuable thing here. “Let her go and run off to your hidey hole.” His voice lowered and that smile just seemed to keep growing.
-
It was easy for Harley to wrench the kitty cat's hand away. The sedatives were in full force by then, and the caltrops went clattering along the grimy ground. As for Harley's little yell, Selina just rolled her eyes. Really?
And she would never understand Joe. Oh, that darkness was a little familiar. But, strangely, it wasn't anywhere near as terrifying as the man without a face that she'd faced as a kitten. Compared to her Joe, this one was downright pretty. As for the darkness in his eyes, she'd never felt responsible for putting it there. She didn't feel responsible for putting it there now.
And if he expected her to beg? Take me! Take me! He had another thing coming.
But, as always, he turned on a dime. Harley was free, and it looked like she would be too. And if the worst thing that came of this stupid attempt at helping Harley was having to lie on the ground, sedated for a few hours in the rain? Well, a cold wouldn't be that big a price to pay for a lesson learned.
-
He was pretty, a real cutie. Harl thought the same thing when her puddin' held a hand out to her, a beacon in the haunted amusement park. Her circling thoughts of eternally playing the part of pawn flew off like the screeching vultures they were, when his smile cut through the gloom around them.
She sniffed, and stood, using Mr. J's hand to pull herself to her feet.
He really did love her. "Aw, puddin'! Ya really do love me!"
Harl looked at her puddin'. It was obvious behind her manic eyes that the deal was sealed, that this changed something. Her own smile reappeared, painted on in a bright white. She wanted to crawl into his arms, hug him 'n smooch him, but they had business to take care of, a kitty cat to put down. She had a lil gun hitched between the tight seam of her skirt where it met her lower back—she whipped it out, just a cute lil red guy, cradled by sloppily painted nails.
"Bang!" She giggled, a little deliriously, soaked to the bone with salt and a desire to prove herself. She sent a sedative into the meat of Selina's thigh. Then another. "Bang!"
-
It was an effort for Selina to roll her eyes, but she did it anyway. Now, she was ridiculous about the Bat, but this was so far beyond that. Mistakenly, she'd thought that a year away from Joe would change things. It obviously hadn't. She almost said something about it, but her tongue was thick, and her eyes were starting to roll back into her little kitty skull. They widened briefly when she saw Harley's gun, but that was all. She couldn't even hiss when the gun sent that sedative needles past the silky shine of her soaked-through suit.
She managed a chuckle that sounded like a gurgle, but that was all. Well, add another disappointment to the list. And whatever happened here? She wasn't expecting anyone to come save her; she hadn't been exaggerating about that.
At least she wouldn't be awake for it, because why fight the sedative any longer? And, really, it was useless with those two new little needles.
The world went black, and the kitty cat was glad.
-
The Joker gave a chilling, happy laugh. Bubbling and giggling like he was spinning wildly on a tilt-a-whirl. Harley was such a good girl and the kitty was easy, easy bait for the clown prince to wave in the air for the Bat to come snatch up. Watching the cat gurgle out a laugh without even an ounce of his toxin made him see colors no one else ever could. It made him feel the universe turn and applaud just for him.
Once the kitty’s lights went out, he reached out a long arm and pulled Harley Quinn towards him like a cane pulling a bad comedian off the stage and wrapped her up tight, tight in his arms. “Now, no more crying, Harley! Look at all the fun we’ve had so far tonight. And, there’s sooo much more to do! Putting up streamers, calling all our friends and giving kitty cat here a little party favor.” The haunting grin on his face flipped into a silly thing. How harmless the clown prince of crime was!
-
Kitty's gurgling giggle bothered Harley, for some reason, and her little clown smile turned upside down like someone had just whipped out a pretty flower 'n sprayed her with it. But, she couldn't dwell on it. Mr. J's arm folded around her shoulders and drew her in. She could be strong—she could be!—but not now. Now, she did exactly as she'd wanted to do for the last however many millionsa minutes it'd been since Kitty came prowling. She curled close to her puddin', her lil still-red nose to his throat and her arms circling his waist.
"She'll be okay, Mr. J. She's just sleepy. Poor Kitty's nocturnal." This was said as much to herself as the clown. She played with the fabric of his collar, before finally seeking eye contact. She stamped her feet in excitement. "Ooh, yay! Can I make a cake?"