Episodes 503-507
Welcome back to our Season 5 Justin-centric marathon hosted by myself and _alicesprings. Thank you to everyone that’s contributed so far! We’re now ready to move on to episodes 503-507. Summaries of Justin’s scenes and some discussion questions can be found under the cut. And remember that the discussion of episodes 501-502 is still open if you haven’t yet had a chance to contribute. You can find it HERE.
As a reminder, while the discussion post itself centers around Justin, you are always free to discuss any characters or scenes from Season 5 that you’d like. You can tie them to Justin if you want, or simply discuss an issue/scene/character/relationship that you want to explore in more detail.
503
Justin scenes:
1. Babylon; Justin, Brian, Ted. 2. Ben and Michael’s house, painting. 3. Diner. 4. Loft. 5. Diner, watching Emmett’s Queer Guy premier. 6. Babylon. 7. The gym.
1. Babylon; Justin, Brian, Ted: Babylon is dead. The boys discuss why.
2. Ben and Michael’s house, painting: Justin’s mentions LA and that he didn’t imagine this was the kind of painting he’d be doing in Pittsburgh. Ben says they’ll return the favor when Justin and Brian get a house. Justin says, “Don’t run to the paint store.” Then Ben wants to carry Michael over the threshold because, “That’s what married people do. Right, Justin?” And Justin responds in a sing-songy voice, “I wouldn’t know.”
Is Justin showing any kind of disappointment that what he and Brian have isn’t conventional? If so, where did this come from? Or is Justin simply reminding Ben and Michael that not every gay couple aspires to the settled down married life?
3. Diner: Debbie and Justin discuss the fact that Debbie’s retiring.
4. Loft:
ADORABLE HUG! Justin’s going through some of his art that was to be part of his final project for school. Brian says that he can still go back. But Justin’s done with school. He says he’s going to take some time to try and figure out what he wants to do next. Brian offers him a job at Kinnetik. Justin says, “Thanks, but it’s time I make my own way in the world.”
Do you think that Brian’s offer to Justin of a job at Kinnetik was serious? Did he think about it before that moment? Was Justin’s refusal appropriate? Could you realistically see him working for Brian?
Next, Brian’s changing and Justin asks if he’s going somewhere. Do you hear hesitation in his voice? Does the hesitation indicate that Brian has been staying home lately, therefore Justin's surprised to hear that Brian's going out? If he has been staying home lately, why does he start going out a lot more in later episodes in this arc?
They move on to discuss the problems at Babylon. Justin mentions a club in LA that was extremely popular. Brian seems less than enthusiastic to hear about LA, until Justin says, “It wasn’t that different than here. They just made it seem like it was.” And then we have this wonderfully squee-worthy exchange:
Brian: Sunshine, how did I ever get along without you? Justin: You didn’t.
***** 6. Babylon: Brian’s paid people to stand in line and make the club look like the place to be. Justin is there, being supportive and mentions again about LA clubs and people standing in-line all night.
7. The gym: Justin jokes that the only reason he goes to the gym is so that guys can check out his ass. Ted laments that the gym isn’t working and plastic surgery is a better alternative. Emmett breezes in upset over having been canceled.
8. Babylon Brian, Justin and Ted are toasting Babylon at the bar. Brian gives the signal to open. The line’s around the block, for real this time. Brian and Justin head to the back room to celebrate. Nothing but happy smiles and hot kisses between them.
Notice that, even with all of Brian’s business acumen, it’s Justin’s insight that finally leads to the success of Babylon.
This shows that Justin takes Brian's career seriously, just like Brian takes Justin's (and will push him about later in the season). From encouraging Brian when he first started Kinnetik – even coming up with the name – to helping get Babylon successful again.
***** This is a transitional episode for Justin as we see him in various locations, getting reacquainted with his life in Pittsburgh. There’s a certain lack of direction as he tries to decide what to do next with his life, and we have the introduction of the contrast between his relationship with Brian vs. what Ben and Michael have.
***** 504
Justin Scenes:
1. The orgy. 2. At Mel and Lindsay’s house. 3. Lindsay’s Gallery, reviewing Justin’s art. 4. Shower at the loft. 5. Ben and Michaels, dinner with Eli and Monte. 6. Babylon, rope show rehearsal.
1. The orgy: Brian and Justin have hooked up with another couple for what looks to be a very intense fuckfest. And yes, Justin is bottoming for someone who’s not Brian. Does this bother anyone? Why or why not?
Note, it's the first time in all 5 seasons that we see Justin bottoming for someone other than Brian.
Also, notice the body language between the couples. During one moment, the other couple reaches out to each other, but Brian and Justin are not touching. At one point, Brian does look towards Justin. What do you make of the expression on his face?
Once they’re done, the four of them share a joint, Brian and Justin lying side by side and not touching, the other couple totally wrapped up in each other. And we have an important conversation concerning relationships. When asked how long they’ve been together, Justin answers 4 years, while Brian says 4 weeks. What’s up with that? Clearly, Brian’s defining “together” as how long they’ve lived together since Justin’s return from LA, while Justin’s answer is the one most normal, well-adjusted people would go by. *cough* What kind of effect do you think this has on Justin? Is it the kind of thing he could just chalk up to Brian being Brian?
The other couple’s been together for 10 years. Justin’s clearly impressed. Brian is… less so. Justin asks how they do it, and they respond, “Communication, honesty, respect and a lot of fucking around. The couple that plays together stays together.” The conversation turns to monogamy, and Brian makes his views on the subject clear. At times, Justin appears almost uncomfortable, but at other times, he smiles at what Brian is saying. When the other couple asks about a repeat, Justin starts to say it’s against the rules, but Brian finds a loophole. Justin really doesn’t look bothered by this.
So, what’s your impression of Justin’s attitude throughout this scene? Are you confused by his mixed signals? Is he confused by Brian? Discuss.
2. At Mel and Lindsay’s house: Justin is smitten with JR even if he has no clue how to hold a baby. Lindsay arrives, and reminds Justin, in a very cool tone, that she hasn’t seen him since LA. He’s apologetic and says he didn’t have her new number. Again with the ice-like tone, she says she’s sure that Brian could have given it to him. Justin appears a bit taken aback. What’s going on here? Is Lindsay really upset with Justin? Or is it something else?
The conversation turns to Gus and the chill is gone. But that’s short-lived as Mel and Lindsay begin to bicker. Justin is clearly uncomfortable and volunteers to leave. Mel tells him to stay, and he gets a ringside seat to the rest of the fight, which revolves around the 3-way custody arrangement for JR.
3. Lindsay’s Gallery, reviewing Justin’s art: Lindsay tells Justin she’ll consider him for the emerging artist’s show. Notice that she recognizes his art as being good, but discusses it with him professionally and knowledgeably. This is not a friend being kind. This is a professional being truthful. Then she relays what’s been bothering her. She’s concerned that, with the breakup, Justin may drop her in favor of Mel. He reassures her that he couldn’t take sides and that he loves them both. She says it’s mutual and apologizes for the earlier fight that he witnessed. Justin says he and Brian have had some bad arguments as well. Justin then asks if there’s any chance for them. Lindsay doesn’t hold out much hope, but Justin leaves it on a positive note. What kind of impact do you think the breakup of this relationship has on Justin?
4. Shower at the loft: This is a cute scene undercut with currents of disagreement, with sex never being too far from the picture:
Justin: It’s amazing. Brian: That I’ve been soaping your crack for the last 10 minutes and you haven’t asked me to fuck you. Justin: That you and I would be together and Melanie and Lindsay would be apart. Brian: Well, who knows what wonders the fates have in store. Justin: I mean, if they can’t make it, who can? Brian: Ding, ding, ding, ding. The correct answer is: no one. Justin: Stop being cynical. Brian: I’m not being cynical. I’m being… Justin: Realistic? Brian: Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? I despise when couples do that. Justin: Did you hear that rubber ducky? He said couples. I should quit while I’m ahead. Brian: [Pulling Justin to him.] Not before you give me some. Mon amour. Justin: Mon amour? I love [kiss] how other people’s tragic marital plight makes you romantic. Brian: Hard. Justin: Christ. What a big boner. Brian: All the better to… Justin: To fuck me with? Brian: What did I just warn you about? Justin: About finishing each other’s sentences? [OMG, chin bite of love] Brian: Marriage is a doomsday machine, destine to self-destruct. Fortunately however, for you and I, we’ll be spared such a dismal fate. [Mmmm, kisses]
At the beginning of the scene, Justin seems genuinely frustrated and pissed off about Brian’s attitude. But it looks like Brian throws in a couple of off-the-cuff remarks (couples, mon amour), which, while not exactly shouted from the rooftops, are very Brian-like in their backhandedness.
There really isn’t anything new here in Brian’s philosophy. Is Justin getting tired of hearing it?
5. Ben and Michaels, dinner with Eli and Monte: Brian takes another opportunity to espouse his philosophy. Justin signals him to tone it down a bit. The few glimpses we catch of Justin show him to be uncomfortably amused or simply uncomfortable.
6. Babylon, rope show rehearsal: Brian’s suddenly a choreographer and dance coach – YAY! Brian wants it perfect so Michael will be impressed. He’s hoping to lure him back to Babylon and away from his Stepford fag lifestyle. Justin argues that it’s not going to work, that Michael is happy where he is. Brian gives another speech, this time explaining that a gay man can only go against his nature for so long before he comes running back.
7. Babylon, superhero night: Michael doesn’t show. Justin tries to be encouraging, but Brian knows he’s not going to make it. A dejected Brian leads Justin off into the Babylon crowd. Brian’s having a hard time accepting that Michael’s gone in a different direction with his life. Does he really expect every gay man to live his lifestyle? Keep this in mind as we move forward and see the changes in Justin’s attitude concerning Brian’s chosen path.
***** This episode centers around the theme of self-identity, recognizing who you are, and being what you want to be. And this gives us Brian asserting his personal philosophy, and reasserting it, and asserting it again, and… one more time. Justin at times seems unfazed, thoughtful, amused, argumentative and perhaps even upset. Are we seeing the beginnings of Justin’s dissatisfaction with same old, same old?
***** 505
Justin Scenes:
1. Babylon 2. The loft, Justin is making dinner. 3. Michael and Ben’s to baby-sit JR. 4. The loft.
1. Babylon: Justin is greeted as Mr. Taylor by the bouncer as he breezes past the enormous line on his way into the club. He stops to chat with Emmett who points him in the direction of the new VIP lounge. At the entrance, he’s again greeted as Mr. Taylor. Brian’s waiting for him. When he arrives, a couple of tricks begin undressing Justin, and one of them drops to his knees. Justin seems perfectly OK with the whole scenario. Certainly there’s no resistance as he kisses Brian and lets the tricks do their thing. Agree or disagree?
2. The loft, Justin is making dinner: Brian has a taste and says it’s good, then proceeds to make a smartass comment about Justin cooking. They share a lovely little almost nuzzle where Brian whispers, “I like your cream sauce.” Next he works the conversation around to telling Justin he has syphilis. Justin is understandably upset, though Brian tries to shrug it off. Then we have this little exchange:
Brian: By the way, you should get yourself tested. Justin: Did you fuck someone without a condom? Brian: No. Never. Word of honor. Justin: Then how’d you… Brian: Must have been someone who sucked me off. Justin: I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner, considering where your dick’s been. Brian: Excuse me, but you haven’t exactly been a saint yourself. In fact, I might have even gotten it from you. When’s dinner?
At the end of this exchange, Justin looks almost appalled. Do you think he had a right to be angry at Brian for that statement? Neither one of them is monogamous, and while Brian probably does a lot more tricking than Justin, it’s still well within the realm of possibility.
But this scene emphasizes an important point – the promiscuous lifestyle is not without its risks. Brian seems much less phased by the whole thing than Justin is. How significant do you think this one particular issue is for them as they move forward?
3. Michael and Ben’s to baby-sit JR: Daphne’s there – YAY! They oooh and aaah over the baby, and Daphne asks Justin if he ever thought about having one. “Sometimes,” he answers. She asks him what’s stopping him, and Justin reminds her about Brian. Then he drops the news that Brian has syphilis.
After a short break in scene, we come back to them discussing the syphilis. We learn that Justin doesn’t have it, and that he’s much less upset about it now. Daphne goes on to say that she wishes they would settle down. Justin says it’s never going to happen.
He doesn’t seem upset, just resigned to his situation. But, he’s not exactly singing the praises of Brian’s lifestyle either. The conversation is cut short when JR is sick.
Is anyone surprised by Justin’s statement that he sometimes thinks about having kids? He’s 21-ish here and still trying to find his direction in life. Is this really something he wants now? Or is it more a hope for the distant future? Perhaps it’s even just that he’s feeling directionless after LA and is trying on different futures for size. Thoughts?
4. The loft: Justin’s drawing Rage (with sores all over his face) as Brian comes in from Babylon. He informs Justin that time’s up on the syphilis sex ban, but Justin’s not interested. Note that Brian came home from Babylon to find Justin for his first post-syphilis fuck. While that’s a long way from romantic, it’s not without significance. And then we have this:
Justin: How can you be so fucking casual? Don’t you ever get tired of it? Brian: To get tired of something means it’s become predictable, unsatisfying, boring. Sort of like where I suspect this conversation is headed. Justin: Or it can mean you found something more satisfying, more meaningful. Brian: And what would that be?
Brian heads for the shower while Justin continues to draw a very apropos panel for Rage.
The next logical response to Brian's question would be “Me.” Justin IS more meaningful and more satisfying than a trick. But he doesn't say that. Brian doesn't want to hear that. Interesting to contrast that with later in the season, when Brian can, and does, tell Justin exactly how important he is. More than once.
While there was tension during the syphilis conversation, this is really the first time we’ve seen it based on lifestyle and the relationship. And Justin is not happy. While the syphilis is a major issue, it appears to be more the catalyst or wake-up call for Justin to re-examine the reality of their relationship. Clearly, he’s not liking what he’s seeing.
***** This episode seems to focus on contrasting lifestyles, with Justin participating in both. We have him being domestic as he cooks dinner and cares for JR, and we have him tricking at Babylon. But we also have the reality that one of those lifestyle choices has its consequences. And we’re seeing the first true discord between Brian and Justin.
***** 506
Justin Scenes
1. Babylon with Brian, Ted and Emmett as Ted reviews his conquests. 2. Ben and Michael’s, discussing the wedding issue of Rage. 3. Woody’s, Justin and Brian discussing housewarming gifts. 4. Michael and Ben’s housewarming. 5. Red Cape Comics. 6. The loft, the infamous black shirt scene.
1. Babylon with Brian, Ted and Emmett as Ted reviews his conquests: As the boys discuss Ted’s tricks, Brian spots Brandon from across the bar. He’s interested and stops Ted from going after him as he heads towards his prey. Justin looks displeased as he watches Brian saunter off without so much as a backwards glance. Brian follows Brandon to the backroom where he is *gasp* rejected.
We’ve seen Brian trick before on too many occasions to count. We’ve seen him do it alone and with Justin. It’s who he is. But something feels different about this scene. There’s no camaraderie between Brian and Justin on this one, no teasing or light-hearted bantering. Instead, Brian virtually ignores Justin as he leaves the bar to go after Brandon. Thoughts?
2. Ben and Michael’s, discussing the wedding issue of Rage: They discuss the fact that gay marriage isn’t legal in PA, and Ben says they’ll have to live vicariously through the comic until it is. Justin looks pensive. Ben then asks if Justin’s coming to their housewarming. Justin says he wouldn’t miss it. Ben and Michael play kissy face and Justin looks… not happy. Hunter walks in and they discuss his upcoming debate at school.
3. Woody’s, Justin and Brian discussing housewarming gifts: Actually, Justin’s discussing, Brian’s being pissy. Justin wants to know what’s wrong, but Brian refuses to tell him. Just then, Brian watches Brandon walk by, and then tells Justin he wouldn’t understand. But he goes on to tell Justin of Brandon’s refusal. Justin assures Brian that he’s still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh and goes back to looking for a housewarming gift. Brian says he’s not going to the party because he’s going to a fucking party.
Brandon’s refusal is a huge issue for Brian, but Justin’s hardly acknowledging it. Does Justin truly not get the impact that something like this would have on Brian, or is he just refusing to play into Brian’s fears? What else does this scene say to you in terms of their relationship and their current level of communication? Is anyone surprised that Brian actually told Justin what was bothering him?
4. Michael and Ben’s housewarming: Looks like Justin managed to get Brian to show up – briefly. He’s still got his sex party to go to. Think back to mid Season 2, with Brian and Justin sharing tricks and date night. How different things are now when Brian’s off to do this sort of thing by himself.
Brian is his usual caustic self amongst the party guests, and while he and Justin came together, they hardly look like the happy couple. Ben announces the marriage issue of Rage and passes out copies. Brian gets his and is less than enthusiastic about it. Notice Justin in the background watching for his reaction. Michael defends the issue and tells Brian that, “Just because it doesn’t agree with your anti-family values is no reason to dump on it.” So, Brian childishly dumps the magazine like it’s yesterday’s garbage and leaves for the sex party. Both Justin and Michael are equally disappointed with his reaction.
Is this the first that Brian’s hearing about the storyline? Should Justin or Michael have told him before, considering as how he is Rage? And should they really be surprised by his reaction, knowing his personal philosophy. Or did both of them have a right to expect some support from him for their work, even if he disagreed with the plot?
5. Red Cape Comics: The latest issue of Rage is a success. And then we have this exchange:
Michael: Everyone loves that JT finally got his man. Justin: Yeah, everyone but you know who. Michael: Yeah, I do know who. Well, what did you expect? Justin: What did I expect? That life might imitate art? I’ve heard it’s been known to happen. How could I have been suckered into my own fantasy? Talk about pathetic. Nobody on earth knows better than I do that, unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, that could never happen. Michael: Not a bad story. Justin: But that’s all it is. It’s a story.
Where did this marriage fantasy come from? Is this truly what Justin wants? He certainly seems disappointed in the effect that the marriage issue had on Brian. Does anyone think that perhaps Justin went with this story line in an attempt to push the issue with Brian? Also, notice how absolutely certain Justin is that he’ll never have this kind of relationship with Brian. How does this compare with his desires before the Season 2 break-up?
6. The loft, the infamous black shirt scene. Brian is trying on eleventy million identical black shirts while Justin works at his computer. Justin makes a snide remark about Brian staying out all night fucking, and then we have this:
Brian: Who said I was fucking? Justin: [Incredulously] You? I’m sure there must have been someone. Brian: Yeah, and somebody else got him. Justin: Finally some competition. Brian: I don’t think you get it. Justin: What, that someone rejected you? Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. Brian: [quietly] One little gesture, easily overlooked. But the meaning is clear. It’s started. It’s begun. [Puts on another black shirt.] How about this one? [He waits for Justin’s opinion, but Justin won’t look at him.] Justin: You know, when I was in LA, fucking around, it was fun and all. But when I came back here, and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer, I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. Like Michael and Ben. One day we might have the things they have: the house, maybe even a family. Brian: [Trying on another shirt.] How’s this? [Justin still doesn’t look up, and the scene ends with Brian assessing himself critically in the mirror.] Hot.
Some have commented that Brian and Justin don’t talk, and while that may or may not be true, in this scene, they are definitely talking. They are clearly and honestly conveying the thing that’s bothering each of them, spelling it out and leaving nothing left to interpretation. And yet, there’s virtually NO communication taking place. Why is that? Are they both too focused on themselves to care about the other one? Or are they purposefully ignoring what the other one is saying?
Also note how Justin defines a “real couple” as Ben and Michael with a house and a family. Does this mean that he doesn’t see what he and Brian have had up to this point as real? And, has he really been expecting to have this kind of relationship with Brian based on Brian’s Season 4 offer?
***** In this episode, we are given a very clear picture of how far apart Brian and Justin are in terms of what they want out of life and their priorities. Justin is being very specific about the things that he wants, things that seem new for him. But think again about the idea of home for Justin. He’s been without a stable one since early Season 1. Regardless of what Brian imagined when he asked Justin to move in, Justin finally has a home. Not a place to crash, or a place where he spends a lot of nights. But a real, permanent home. Now think about his upbringing: two parents; a younger sister; a stable, traditional nuclear family… until it all fell apart. Is it possible that Justin equates “home” with the traditional idea of monogamy and family? Could this be why he’s made the leap from “moving in” with Brian to wanting to be a “real couple” like Ben and Michael?
***** 507
Justin Scenes
1. Diner, with Emmett, Michael, Mel, and Debbie. 2. Red Cape Comics. 3. The loft, Brian returns home. 4. On the street. Justin, Debbie and Emmett are handing out flyers. 5. Ben and Michael’s house. 6. Justin’s new place. 7. The Center.
1. Diner, lunch with Emmett, Michael and Mel: Mel reads aloud from a newspaper article on Proposition 14, which “could dissolve a broad range of contracts between same sex couples.”
2. Red Cape Comics: Justin and Michael talk about Proposition 14 and the impact on their lives. Michael explains that it will affect him and Ben, Mel and Lindsay, Eli and Monte and maybe even Justin. Justin scoffs at that, and tells Michael that Brian’s not going to change. Then he says, “Whatever that proposition would take away is something he would never give me in the first place.”
Yes, Justin is being practical. But he’s also resigned. He’s absolutely sure that Brian will not change who he is. There’s no wishful thinking, no dreams. Just reality, and Justin knows what it is. Thoughts?
3. The loft, Brian returns home: The scene begins with Justin sitting on the couch, quiet and thoughtful. We hear the sound of the elevator ascend, and then the loft door opens. Brian is home from Babylon. As Brian takes a water from the fridge, we get a flashback to 101 when Brian pours the water on his head.
Brian mentions how packed Babylon was. Justin seems less than interested, and says, “Whatever else happens, by all means keep on dancing.” Brian asks about Justin’s evening and Justin says he spent his evening alone, thinking. He’s made some decisions about his life and what he wants. And the tone of the conversation goes from sort of mockingly pissy to dead serious.
Brian: I thought you’d already worked that out. You were going to live off of your considerable Hollywood wealth and try your hand at being an artist. Justin: Why are you making fun of me? Brian: I’m not making fun. You’re making me fucking nervous as hell. Just… tell me what you want, what you’ve decided so we can go to bed and fuck. Justin: You already know what I want. I’ve already told you. Brian: [In an increasingly mocking tone] That’s right, you have. A husband, a family, a home. All the things that make life worth living. Justin: Would you fucking cut it out? Just stop it. And I know you can’t give me those things. Brian: Not can’t. Can’t implies that I’m incapable. It’s that I won’t. Justin: I accept that. I suppose it’s why I’ve always loved you. Brian: Ah, the untamable beast. Justin: But to be a couple, both people have to want the same things, to move in the same direction. If they can’t or… won’t, they really have nowhere to go. Brian: Probably not. Justin: Then why are we still doing this if we both know it’s never going to work? Brian: Damned if I know.
Justin retrieves his already packed bags from the bedroom, puts on his coat and walks back to Brian. He hugs him, and eventually, Brian returns the hug. Brian asks where he’s going. Justin says he’ll figure it out. Brian says, “Let me know.” And Justin slides the loft door closed. Brian’s left alone as we hear the elevator descend.
And if you’re not sobbing in the corner right now, what are your thoughts on this scene? Was this inevitable? Could something have been done, either in this moment or sooner, to save the relationship? Or, given where they both are and what they both want, did this have to happen?
Notice how accepting Justin is in this scene. He’s not fighting, overly emotional or begging. He knows what he wants and that Brian can’t won’t give it to him. He won’t try and force him to change or ask for a compromise. Instead, with great strength and conviction, he holds his head up and walks out that door. Through most of this, Brian seems almost numb, but just after the hug, as Justin makes his way to the door, Brian looks close to tears. Do you think he’s really surprised by this turn of events?
Also note in this scene the tie-in to the scene from Episode 220 when Justin and Brian talk about Ethan. In that scene, Justin tells Brian that Ethan loves him, “In ways that you can’t.” And Brian replies, “In ways that I won’t.” Are we really to believe that Brian hasn’t changed at all since the Season 2 breakup? If that’s true, and Justin was accepting of Brian in Season 3, why not now? What’s changed?
4. On the street. Justin, Debbie and Emmett are handing out flyers. Debbie can’t believe that Brian let Justin walk out without trying to stop him. Justin says he didn’t expect him to. Debbie still can’t believe that Brian would do something like this to Justin. But he clarifies that Brian didn’t do anything. They each wanted different things, and decided it would be best to move on. Emmett asks where Justin’s going, and he says he’ll be staying with Ben and Michael until he gets a place of his own. Debbie thinks he’s too young, but Justin says he’s not a kid any more, and Emmett reminds us all that Justin was never a kid. Then Justin says that it’s time he made it on his own. And after a lovely hat toss by Emmett a la Mary Richards, Justin continues, “And even though I’ll miss Brian, and I wish we were still together, this will be good for me. Right?” Emmett and Debbie rather unenthusiastically agree.
Justin really plays this one by the book, clearly stating all of the practical, logical reasons for leaving, and the positive aspects of it. He’s not emotional at all. But, who’s he trying to convince? Also, what do you think about Justin’s statement that it’s time he makes it on his own? Is this a necessary thing for him? Has he been feeling too “kept” lately or for a while? Is pride a possible issue here?
5. Ben and Michael’s house: Brian shows up drunk and very pissed off, looking for Michael. Ben tries to throw him out, but Michael appears and says he’ll handle it.
Brian: Well, Mikey. Congratulations. Michael: For what? Brian: You won. To the spoiler goes the victory. Michael: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Brian: Of course you don’t. No one plays dewy-eyed innocent better than you. Although at 34, you’re getting a little bit long in the tooth for short pants. Michael: Speaking of outgrowing your act. Nothing’s more pathetic, to use one of your favorite words, than an over-the-hill club boy. Brian: You infected him. With your petty bourgeois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life. Thanks to you, he’s got visions, of babies, weddings, white picket fences dancing in his blond little head. Michael: And you think that I put them there? Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks, he was perfectly happy. But now, he’s a defector, just like the rest of… Michael: He was never perfectly happy. Waiting for years for you to say, ‘I love you. You’re the only one I want.’” Brian: That’s not who I am. Michael: Don’t we all know? Brian: But now he’s here in your house… Michael: It’s a home. Brian: It’s a farce. It’s a freak show. Michael: Call it what you want. I honestly don’t care. But he didn’t leave because I infected him. He left because of you. Who wouldn’t?
Brian leaves and we see that Justin has heard the whole thing from the top of the stairs.
Besides this being one of the most powerful scenes in all of QAF, it speaks volumes about Brian’s conviction for his own personal philosophy. He totally and completely believes that Michael is a sellout and that the lifestyle he’s chosen is a sham. And remember, this is the life that Justin wants, too. So while Brian is busy trashing everything that Michael believes in, he’s basically doing the same thing to Justin by extension. Does anyone still think that they could have worked things out and Justin should have stayed?
6. Justin’s new place: Justin and Jennifer are checking out Justin’s new studio/apartment. She hates it, he loves it. It’s his own place. But Jennifer can’t help compare it to Brian’s loft. Jennifer wishes that Justin and Brian could have worked things out. Justin says he does, too, but that they each want different things. There’s no anger, only gratitude on Justin’s part. Jennifer asks if neither of them is willing to change. Justin answers, “That’s not love. That’s sacrifice.” Is it?
7. The Center and outside: The Center is conducting a Stop Prop 14 information meeting. Outside afterwards, the gang talks about fighting to stop the legislation. Justin departs, but not before exchanging kisses with Debbie, Ted and Emmett.
Cut to Brian walking down the street alone. He sees Justin. They stop, eye each other and exchange “heys”. Brian asks how the meeting was and Justin says he should have been there. Brian says he’s not Rage and saving Gayopolis isn’t his thing. Justin rolls his eyes. Brian asks if Justin’s doing OK. Justin says he is and asks Brian the same thing. They exchange a few more words, which on the surface, are nothing more than conversational banter. Then they part, and we watch as they walk away from each other. We’re left with the image of Brian walking alone down the street as “You Are My Sunshine,” plays over the scene.
This is likely their first encounter since the breakup. The actual conversation is shrouded in polite nothingness. At this point, there really isn’t anything else to be said. Justin seems confident and sure of himself. Brian does as well, but with a bit more underlying emotion. It looks like Brian’s trying harder to exercise control – perhaps over his emotions, from saying something, maybe from just reaching out to touch Justin. Does their behavior during this encounter surprise anyone, especially considering the recent scene at Ben and Michael’s? Did you expect something more to happen here?
***** In this episode we see Justin acknowledging the gap between his dreams and his reality. He’s hinted all along that he’s known what he won’t have with Brian. But now it’s gotten to the point where he’s no longer willing to live a life that isn’t what he wants. And so he leaves. If he had stayed, it wouldn’t have meant compromise. Instead, it would have meant Justin fully accepting Brian and his lifestyle without any resultant change on Brian’s part. Do you think that if he had stayed, over time Justin could have orchestrated a change in Brian? That he could have gotten him to slow down and settle a bit? Or is it always true that the only one you can change is yourself?
+++++ 503-507 shows us a Justin in transition; returning from LA, reassimilating into Pittsburgh life and evaluating what he wants for his future. We see the idea of marriage and family clearly displayed against sexual freedom and a less traditional lifestyle. Through this arc, we watch Justin as he considers the idea of home and family, forms it into a concrete dream and compares that dream to his reality with Brian. We also see him struggle to define his professional path and his desire to make his own way. And we seem him make the final decision to be true to himself and not compromise the things that are now important to him.
How do you think Justin’s lack of a permanent and stable home for so much of the series has impacted his current dreams for the future? Do you think that there were compromises that either Brian or Justin could have made that would have saved the relationship at this point? Would those compromises have destroyed them eventually? Do you think it’s important for Justin to live on his own for a while, or is that secondary to his desire for a home and a relationship that fits his needs?