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Tweak says, "Slowly take off my... bandage!"

Spencer Hastings thinks you need a babysitter (worry) wrote in portland_logs,
@ 2014-12-13 11:36:00

Entry tags:

emma swan, spencer hastings

Who: Spencer & Emma
What: Spencer gets some memories and then it's off to the House of Horrors
When: Today
Where: The carnival
Warnings: Drug abuse/addiction, will update more later
Notes: Italics dialogue lifted from Pretty Little Liars

Spencer was an early riser. She woke up with the sun every morning and immediately went out for a jog. Sometimes Emily joined her depending on whether she felt like sleeping in or not. Derek had emphasized cardio with Spencer and she had taken it to heart with a jog first thing ever morning. She was in peak physical condition, better than she had ever been for field hockey. Portland was about the most full contact sport that Spencer had ever encountered. It was while she was out on her jog that her memories began to flood back to her. She almost keeled over right there and then but managed to veer off onto one of the neighbor's lawns. She wasn't even sure whose grass she was laying in.

Spencer, you're right. I have to tell you the truth before it's too late. Dad's taking me to the airport and I'm going back to England. He's been wanting me to go back since I told him what I told him in the police station the night you were gone. Maybe Dad's right and there's nothing to do but keep quiet. But I can't just leave you. Not again. Not like this. So I'm going to tell you the truth and you can do whatever you want with it. Maybe it'll help you. Maybe it won't. But at least you'll know. I saw you the night Alison disappeared. I heard you fighting with her and I saw you. I saw you with a shovel in your hand. It felt like everyone who ever made the mistake of touching Ali was there that night. What's that line from The Tempest? This island is full of noises. Then I saw the body. I thought you killed Alison with that shovel. Now I'm not sure what happened but standing there that's what I thought and I didn't want anyone to know. I couldn't look at her face so I pushed her in and covered it up and I didn't tell anyone about what I did or what I thought you did. Now I know it wasn't Alison and she wasn't dead when I buried her. She was a stranger and I buried her alive because I thought I was protecting you. Our family has a gift for self preservation but there's a point where you go from survivor to predator and I guess that's what happened to us. Goodbye, Spencer. I love you.

Her sister had been the one that killed Bethany Young but Spencer had been arrested for it. That was the last thing she remembered. She remembered the cops putting the cuffs on her and her begging her friends for help in an utter panic while they pulled her away. Alison had set her up, of course Alison had set her up. They were a perfect quartet of friends for a sociopath. Aria was the compassionate one, Hanna was the admiring one, Emily was the loyal one and Spencer was the smart one. It was the reason why Mona had been turned away from Ali's gaggle of girls. Because Alison already had Spencer, she already had a smart girl to manipulate. She didn't need two. That was especially apparent with how Ali was dealing with them back home. She went after the smart ones first. She killed Mona and she set Spencer up to go to jail for a murder that Melissa Hastings had unwittingly committed. Who had hit Bethany Young over the head that night? It was still a mystery but Spencer was willing to put good money on Ali being responsible.

She couldn't go home knowing what she knew. She couldn't look Emily in the face knowing what she knew. She couldn't kiss her girlfriend knowing that Ali's lips had been there first, like poison that still lingered. And Hanna. How could Spencer face Hanna now that Mona was dead? Did Hanna even know? Did she get these memories too? Maybe they were a dream or some sign of something medical like encephalitis. She grimaced at the idea that being sick was somehow better than knowing what Alison had done to destroy them all. But mostly Spencer. She had targeted Spencer and Mona because they were the threat. And now Mona was dead. Spencer didn't think there would ever be a day that she would shed a tear for Mona Vanderwaal, the bitch that had tortured them for a year. Mona had started as A and then it had gotten of control from there but in the end Mona might have been a crazy bitch but she was smarter than all of them. She knew how to take down Ali and she paid the ultimate sacrifice for it. In the end, Mona had chosen their side and the pain that Spencer felt was mostly sympathy pains for Hanna.

She found a cafe, not really caring that she was still wearing no makeup or that her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and rather than her normally pressed and pleated outfit, she was wearing her running clothes. She only cared how strong the coffee was brewed. As it turned out, it wasn't very strong so Spencer just had to double up. It wasn't enough and Spencer had to fight the urge to find something stronger than coffee to help her with her problems. Oddly enough, having David and Kol around made Spencer want to steer clear of the pills. She had hardly talked to either one of them but had seen enough of them on the network to know that they were very different people but they both looked like Dean to her and she could hear his voice in her head. Annoying and persistent and yet somehow inspiration all at the same time. Of course her personal hell would come equipped with the doppelgangers of her former drug sponsor.

Hours had passed as Spencer drank coffee. Finally she ordered a cup to go and a bundled of jangled nerves she began to wander the city until she came across the carnival. She stopped short and listened and watched as people enjoyed the rides and the games. Spencer didn't know why but she felt compelled to buy a ticket and enter too. It was the kind of place she would have liked to go with Emily but for some inane reason found herself wandering around alone. She wasn't quite ready to face Emily just yet anyway. She still needed to digest the new information that had somehow been downloaded right into her brain.

She wasn't paying much attention when she wandered into a haunted house at the exact same time as an older blonde woman that Spencer knew to be Sheriff Swan from the network. Great. Out of all the people she could have walked into a haunted house with, it just had to be a cop. The cops in Rosewood were all crooked and Spencer had a natural distrust for any officer of the law after dealing with Garret and Wilden. She gave Emma a stiff smile as they walked into a room that was set up to look like a cemetary at night complete with coffins that were propped up from the ground.

"Wow, scary," Spencer said sarcastically as some old Halloween track tape played in the background. Suddenly one of the coffins popped open and a body sprung up from it, stopping short right in front of Spencer. The body was fake of course but she had long curled blonde hair and she was wearing an Ali mask. Spencer's eyes grew wider as she reached out and snapped the mask right off the dummy. Underneath the mask she didn't have a face, it was just stuffing stitched together but painted in red lipstick was a message for Spencer.

I always thought you looked good in orange, bitch. Kisses, A

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worry
2014-12-23 10:11 pm UTC (link)

"I really have to go first?" Spencer asked. She remembered what happened the last time she had gone first. She hadn't particularly liked the outcome. But if all she had to do was face her fears than that was what she would do. Spencer could face her fears because she had done it a million times before. The problem was that her fears always seemed to be one step ahead of her. Because was everywhere and she was everyone and Spencer could trust nothing and nobody except for the girls.

She walked ahead of Emma into a darkened room but suddenly it was as if the room had become Spencer's backyard, the one she shared with Ali. There was a thunderstorm and lightning ripped through the sky. The glow of it cast an eerie light on a figure ahead with blonde curls and a redcoat on. The face was shadowed because of the hood but Spencer knew exactly who she was facing.

"Alison?" she demanded. The red hooded figure turned away but Spencer gave chase. She ran as hard as she could trying to catch up with the blonde in the red hood. It took a bit of extra effort but Spencer was spry and fast thanks to Derek's training. She pounced and knocked Redcoat to the ground. She turned the girl around only to find that she was staring into the bloated dead face of Bethany Young. Spencer immediately scrambled off of her. She balled her hands into two fists.

"I'm not afraid of you!" she yelled at the top of her lungs but laughter was the only reply. Laughter, giggles, chuckles echoing at her from every corner of the room. Spencer felt suffocated and cornered by the laughter that came from seemingly nowhere.

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saviorswan
2014-12-23 11:15 pm UTC (link)

“Do you really want to be stuck in here alone without anyone to snap you out of it if you’re unable to face them?” Emma asked, tilting her head slightly. Emma knew what it was like to face her fears as she kept having to do it and break habits that she had for years, but the last thing she was going to do was put someone at risk when she couldn’t help them. That was the only reason Emma was making Spencer go first was because Emma wanted to make sure she was here to help the girl if she couldn’t take her demons on as some were scarier than others. “I know it may seem bad, but I believe you can do it. Show whatever it is that you’re not scared and make them back off,” Emma told the girl before letting her go ahead, hoping that this would work.

Standing in the dark, Emma listened as she hoped that this would be the answer to their problem. If this place wanted them to see their fears, then it meant it wanted them to face them. She walked back and forth in the room that she stayed in, listening for any sign of her name as she heard a brief momen of yelling, but it wasn’t her name. “Come on this has to work. Don’t let your fear control you, face your demons,” she mumbled to herself as if Spencer could hear her cause Emma was also preparing herself if this did work. While listening for her name or some sign that she had to go bail Spencer out, Emma went over in her head how she was going to have to return to the station and put some officers on this place with hopes of keeping people from heading into here without warning about this place.

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worry
2014-12-27 07:30 pm UTC (link)

Redcoat was everywhere and Spencer was afraid. She didn't want to come face to face with the bloated corpse of Bethany Young again. But Spencer had always been brave and now thanks to Derek and Emily, she was strong too. She raced after the girl in the red coat, Alison DiLaurentis and not Bethany Young. They were sisters but they were not the same. Not that Spencer had ever actually met Bethany.

She chased after her, running as fast as she could and this time she didn't do a full body tackle, she wasn't going to repeat the same mistakes. She grabbed her arm and when Redcoat turned around Alison's cruel face stared back into Spencer's.

"You set me up for Bethany Young!" Spencer accused her but Ali's face stayed calm and cold.

"Prove it," she challenged Spencer. "Face it, Spencer. You are my doll. You do what I say, when I say it. I pull the strings and you dance. That's the way it's always been and it's the way it will always be. If I want you to rot in jail you'll rot in jail, bitch."

Spencer slapped Alison so hard that it stung her hand. It looked as though it had stung Ali's face too because she gave Spencer a hurt look but that hurt quickly turned to vicious anger.

"You think that's bad?" Ali hissed. "Just wait and see what I do to Emily and Hanna."

Spencer could feel the hefty weight of the shovel in her hands. It was one thing to threaten her, it was another to threaten her girls. Nobody was going to hurt Hanna or Emily. She didn't fear the shovel anymore, she wielded it like a weapon, like the way she held that crowbar the night Noel had tried to steal something from her.

She swung hard and hit Ali right in the head. The petite blonde fell to the ground in a heap and Spencer stumbled towards the exit door. She pushed through, breathing hard as she took a few unsteady steps outside of the tent. She was outside again. Kids were giggling in the background, people screamed on rides, teenagers milled around talking. Spencer was outside and back out into the carnival and outside of the haunted house.

"Sheriff Swan!?" She turned back towards the door and tried to pull it open but it seemed glued shut. She couldn't get back in.

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saviorswan
2015-01-03 07:01 am UTC (link)

Emma had been taking calm breaths, pacing as she waited for something from Spencer whether it was a successful something or something for Emma to help her with, but for something. Though also worried because if this worked, then Emma was going to need to face her fear, but if it didn’t work, then they were stuck in this hell. At first, she paused and then she heard the yell for Sheriff Swan only it sounded like it was coming from outside this place.

If that was the case, then the plan worked and that meant Emma was going to need to face her fear head on. Emma was good at just not thinking about it, avoiding it, and just moving on from all the fears she had. The woman was beyond screwed up, which she knew and it was just easier to avoid it. Only this place had other plans in mind as it seemed, she would have to own up to it.

“Yeah, I hear you and it seems you’re outside so I guess it worked,” she yelled as loud as she could, unsure if Spencer could even hear her in hear. “Alright Emma, you can do this. Just face your fear,” she told herself, bouncing on the balls of her feet as if she was ready for a fight before stepping into the room Spencer had gone into, cringing when she found her boyfriend standing in front of her. Of course this place would go for that one after all it had already done her two biggest ones.

“Swan, it was a mistake to give up the Jolly Roger for you. Baelfire or Neal as you knew him was smart in knowing how to get rid of you and I can’t seem to get rid of you,” Killian told her causing Emma to tense up. This wasn’t real. “No, there is nothing wrong with me. I believed that all my life because of everything, but people want me in my life,” she told him, trying to stay strong as this hurt more than anything.

“You really think that, mom?” The voice behind her caused her to turn around quickly as she looked at her son. “You gave me up like I was nothing and then tried to run. My grandparents, your own parents had a baby just because they wanted someone better than you and I don’t need you.”

Emma knew those words as those had been ones in her head so many times causing her to stand her ground for once. “No, I gave you up so you had your best chance just like my parents did. I finally found my home and you’re apart of that home and that will never change. I love you, Henry and I know that this life isn’t like it had been before as no one is pushing me out.”
Those words caused him to vanish right in front of her and then some lights turned on causing her to see the exit. Moving forward, she pushed on it to find her way out and into the light where Spencer was. “Are you okay?” She asked, touching the girl lightly on the arm as her sheriff side kicked on.

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