InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not in a life-affirming way"

Jason is GASLIGHT (tempsleve) wrote in playout,
@ 2020-04-29 20:33:00

Entry tags:

! texts/phone, ares, bloodroot, flyweight, gaslight, taiyang

TO: Sadie
FROM: Jason
[1] Thank you for the cake, Sadie!
[2] It tasted great.

TO: Bo
FROM: Jason
[1] Thank you for helping Ri pick out Todd.
[2] He told me you named him.
[3] That was very thoughtful of you.

TO: Talia
FROM: Jason
[1] Hi.
[2] Did you need anything?

TO: Alex
FROM: Jason
[1] Haven't heard from you in a while.
[2] How are you doing?

TO: Gabe
FROM: Jason
[1] I may have done something incredibly stupid.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 04:29 am UTC (link)
	[1] I'm sorry it hasn't been the best day. [2] [...] That [...] sounds risky. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 04:31 am UTC (link)
	[1] It hasn't been the worst, and the lows weren't very low. [2] I guess he bought it when he and Ilana went to Disneyland last weekend. [3] It's not anything big, just some pins for my lanyard, but [...] I don't know what to make of it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 04:36 am UTC (link)
	[1] Not that I think Josh meant anything bad by it, but [2] You're not together anymore. [3] And accepting a present from him is just going to be messy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 04:38 am UTC (link)
	[1] It's already kind of messy, Talia. [2] I might have given him those Les Miz tickets I bought for him before we broke up. [3] He might have asked me to go with him, and I might have said yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 04:42 am UTC (link)
	[1] So [2] I mean this lovingly [3] And I'm sorry to say this on your birthday [4] But you're being a fucking idiot [5] And you need to knock that shit off (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Talson.

tempsleve
2020-04-30 04:45 am UTC (link)

[1] I am very aware of this.
[2] I am trying to get over him. It's why I gave him the tickets in the first place.
[3] I was going through my apartment and putting away anything that reminded me of him, and it didn't feel right getting rid of them or asking someone else to go with me, so I gave them to him and told him to bring someone and have fun.
[x] ~~But I want to go with him. I miss him.~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[1] Why didn't it feel right getting rid of them? They're just play tickets. Ask for a refund at the theater. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 05:05 am UTC (link)
	[1] I didn't even think of asking for a refund. [2] Sentimentality? It was a connection to us, I guess. I didn't want to lose that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 05:07 am UTC (link)
	[1] Well giving them to him, even to do as he pleases, is kind of a loaded move. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 05:15 am UTC (link)
	[1] It feels like even just talking is a loaded move with us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 05:16 am UTC (link)
	[1] So...don't...talk? [2] There's nothing wrong with needing space still. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 05:31 am UTC (link)
	[1] I know. [2] And we don't talk all that often. Primarily Friday drinks with the others. [3] It's just been recently that we've been talking outside of work. [4] And I've missed talking to him? We're mostly navigating it all right. [5] And it's been nice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	[1] I don't know what to tell you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	[1] I don't know what to tell me either except to avoid Friday night drinks at least until this disaster happens, I guess. [2] And to delete his number before I drink again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Sorry, I don't know what ELSE to tell you* other than stop talking to him vaguely or sit down and sort your unresolved feelings out like a grown-ass man. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:15 pm UTC (link)
	[1] The feelings for him aren't unresolved. [2] But any conversation we have is going to have to circle back to why I freaked out when we talked about marriage. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	[1] I mean [2] Bear with me, but [3] You could tell him [4] And what word would you use besides "unresolved" then? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Oh yes. I can see that going well. [2] "Josh, I freaked out about marrying you even though I actually want to because I'm afraid I'll cheat on you like my mother cheated on my dad." [3] Potentially unrequited. [4] Or unacknowledged. [5] Fine. Unresolved. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	[1] It sounds a hell of a lot better than whatever you're doing now, Jason. [2] At least it's honest. [3] Uh huh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:24 pm UTC (link)
	[1] How are things with you and Ilana? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Better than things are with you and Josh, that's for sure. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Ouch. [2] At least I know where we stand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Oh, I know where I stand with Ilana. [2] Things are awkward still, but we've talked, and we're trying. [3] But I am under no delusion that she wants a relationship with me or that one will happen if I wish hard enough. [4] It's on me to get over my feelings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. tempsleve 2020-04-30 07:42 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Good luck with that. [2] That's what I was trying to do, and now I'm seeing a musical with my ex. [3] So, no hope at all for you two? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Talson. exert 2020-04-30 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	[1] Yeah, you're trying really hard there. [2] Not unless she suddenly changes her mind or I become okay with just hooking up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)