Helium Raven (severity_softly) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2008-05-01 21:45:00 |
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Current mood: | listless |
Entry tags: | #lmom 2008, author: severity_softly, kink: wanking (solo or mutual), remus/peter pettigrew |
LMOM: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 1/31 (Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus)
Title: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 1/31 (I hope)
Rating: R
Characters/Pairing: Peter/his hand, with fantasy Remus/Peter (overall fic will be Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus, and possibly Remus/whoever the heck else I want him to shag during Remus' "lost canon years" *g*)
Kinks/Warnings: wanking, fantasy oral, fantasy rough sex, fantasy bestiality if you squint the same way I do
Overall warnings: Angst
Challenge: LMOM '08, day one
Word Count: 1,500 ish
Notes: This part is set in 7th year, is pretty mild, and is Peter-centric. Promise, it will get pornier and Remusier. *G* I plan to span 7th year to POA, keep this canon compliant, and, if it doesn't become a jumbled mess, it may turn out more plot with porn than truly porny. We'll see. Thanks so so much to innerslytherin for inspiring the Remus/Peter love, and for the speed beta-reading. :) Title from the quote "It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at times the desperate shape of betrayal. And perhaps there is no possible explanation," by Joseph Conrad
Peter wasn't sure when it had changed, but it had. And it was much, much worse now.
It was bad enough that he'd found himself watching Sirius in fifth year, studying the lean muscle of his arms as they played Quidditch, or they way he perched on his broom, the thin length of wood pressed against the curve of his arse. It was bad enough to return James' smiles too warmly, and stumble over his words on the rare occasion James deemed him worthy of a compliment, which was lately usually along the lines of "well, at least you didn't muck it up too badly, Wormy." Now it was Remus, though, and that was even worse. Peter wasn't sure when that had changed, except that James and Sirius had started putting him off a bit more now that they were older, now that James had Lily and Sirius was having one off with a different girl every night, it seemed.
It was never supposed to be another boy that caught his eyes, Peter knew, but if it had to be that way, he could at least fancy another Pure-blood, like him. He could at least fancy someone more popular, maybe someone who was a better Quidditch player, and not someone who spent most of his free time in the library. James and Sirius thought Moony was too much of a bookworm, too, didn't they? Even they didn't think Moony was very cool. Though Peter knew, if he was honest, they thought even less of him. Moony would be a step up from him, as far as being shag-worthy. Moony was a good guy, too, as much as a half-blood werewolf could be, but he certainly wasn't the sort of bloke you were supposed to fancy, if you were unfortunate enough to be a bloke who fancied blokes
"You all right?" a soft voice cut through his thoughts, and Peter realised he'd been staring at the way Remus' hair had fallen into his eyes as he bent over the book he was reading.
Hogwarts, A History. Who actually read that shite? ...Remus did. But Remus was a little strange, too, wasn't he? Not in any sort of bad way, really (unless you counted his furry little problem, though Peter had always sort of thought that was the only truly cool thing about Remus). He was just different.
"Um, yeah, just tired," Peter said, blinking and looking at the pattern on his bed clothes. His mum would kill him. She'd kill him once for fancying blokes, then resurrect him and kill him again for fancying half-blood blokes. When Peter looked back up, Remus was smiling at him, a funny little smile that made Peter's heart skip sideways and then drop into his stomach. Had he noticed?
"It's late," Remus murmured. He glanced over at James and Sirius' empty beds. "I don't think there's much point in staying up for them, do you?"
Peter huffed. "They'll probably just skive off potions tomorrow morning." He wished he had a reason to be out late and skive off class tomorrow. It'd be better if he were out snogging some girl he didn't like than sitting here trying not to look at the way the small of Remus' back curved when he laid on his stomach like that.
Remus rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling at Peter. "They're going to fail all their N.E.W.T.s. They're not cheating off me, either."
"D'you think they allow cheating?" Peter asked, then flushed because he realised that was a stupid question. Remus laughed, but Peter didn't mind. Moony's laughter never had that cruel edge to it like the other Marauders. "I mean, you don't think they'll have anti-cheating spells on our quills or anything?"
"I'm sure they will," Remus conceded. He closed his book and pillowed his head in his arms.
The room went quiet for a while, and Peter sprawled back against his headboard, watching as Remus' eyes fluttered closed. There was something strange magically about Moony, sometimes, this weird air of calm, almost, of sanctuary. Peter sometimes wondered if there was a special sort of magic to him, a magic different from everyone else because he was a werewolf, but it didn't make a whole lot of sense for a werewolf to seem calming.
He shifted down in his bed and watched Remus breath, partly wanting to go put his hand on Remus' chest just to feel the gentle rise and fall of his breath, and partly chiding himself for looking while Remus had his eyes closed. It felt wrong and weird, but he couldn't look away. That was a problem that was happening a lot lately. He sighed, and drew his curtains along one side of his bed, then looked at Remus again. "Moony?" he whispered.
Remus sucked in a breath, but didn't open his eyes. "M'yeah?"
"D'you ever get jealous?" Peter swallowed, his mouth going dry. He wanted to ask if Remus had ever done the sorts of things he thought James and Sirius were probably up to right now. He told himself it wasn't because he wanted to think about Moony like that.
"Of what?" Remus replied, his voice heavy with almost-sleep.
"Of them. Of James and Sirius."
This time Remus opened his eyes and looked over at Peter, blinking at him, though he was wearing that funny smile that made Peter's insides do funny things again. "I'd rather be here with you," he said.
Peter felt his heart stop and then try to force its way out of his chest through his mouth. He swallowed to keep it from escaping. "Why?"
Remus' eyes had closed again, and he only hummed a reply, a noise that sounded content enough that Peter couldn't help but smile a little. He drew Remus' bed curtains closed with his wand and then did the same with his own. He settled under the covers and tried to sleep, though after a moment it became clear that his mind was refusing to shut off. I'd rather be here with you, Moony's soft voice kept telling him. He'd rather be here with me than off snogging girls, Peter's own mind filled in, thought he told himself he would not wank to the idea of snogging Remus.
The longer he laid there, though, with Remus' voice playing in his head and the memory of that sleepy smile, it was becoming clear his body had other plans. "God," he breathed, and pressed his head back against the pillow, trying to ignore it, but in a moment his hand was pressed against his erection already. "Just once," he promised himself, his voice barely audible to his own ears. He could do this quickly, just once, and perhaps it would make him stop having these thoughts. He'd seen Remus naked before, after his transformations, though he'd never really let himself look too closely. He could picture in his mind the pale color of Remus' skin, the texture of the scars across his chest. This would be easy, fast, done.
Peter shoved his pyjamas and pants down and gripped himself tightly, stroking himself with a quick jerky movement, then tried to think of the most graphic things he could about Remus, hoping he could finish faster. He could hear Remus breathing on the other bed and he imagined Remus' breath on his neck, which was good, but he needed more. He tried to picture Remus lying in his bed as he was, the curve of his back, the way his lean body would have looked just then without his pyjamas on. And then Remus was sprawled on his back in his mind, and some faceless person was sucking him. The imaginary Remus arched his back off the bed, moaning, and closed his fingers in the faceless person's hair.
"Peter," Remus moaned and then came in Peter's mind, and arousal shot through Peter like lightning. He'd rather be here with me. He'd rather be here fucking me, Peter supplied for himself, and then the Remus in his head was doing just that. He was driving into Peter, making him whimper with each thrust. Remus' nails were digging into Peter's hips and his teeth were scraping the stubble of Peter's jaw. He was big, too, and powerful. Peter thought Remus might be powerful like this, in a way he never was otherwise, in a way he only ever was when he was the wolf.
Peter twisted his wrist at the thought, then choked on a moan and came under his sheets. He shuddered as his release hit, and tried to keep his breath quiet as he collapsed back against the mattress. A rush of relief hit him, a warm satisfied rush, followed almost immediately by overwhelming guilt and shame. He shouldn't have done that, he knew. He was going to regret ever having done it. He did a quick cleaning spell and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow, though now his mind wouldn't calm for entirely different reasons.
Oh, God. This was much, much worse than just looking at James and Sirius.
Part 2