Sheila Blackstone has a heart on the highway. (intodarkness) wrote in paxletale, @ 2010-06-14 23:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | baldr, hel, isis, nephthys |
#301
Here’s a story for you.
There once was a king who was tremendously intelligent - ridiculously so. Ordinary people couldn’t understand what he said and so he gathered the most intelligent people in the land to surround him. They translated down what he said and provided amusement in the forum of scholarly thoughts. Simultaneously, the made what the ordinary people sound more intelligent for him, working as interpreters.
Now, like most kings in stories, this intelligent king had a beautiful daughter and no sons. She wasn’t kept locked away from the world though – like most are – and thus everyone knew how lovely and charming she was. The king (through his translators) issued a proclamation that the most intelligent person to approach him and engage with him and his colleagues, being able to silence them with his intelligence would marry his daughter and gain the throne. If they dissatisfied him, they would lose their head for having dared talk to the king.
Princes, Barons, Dukes, Counts, Sheiks, and even ordinary scholars came from near and far to attempt the king’s challenge. None of them were learned enough though and in turn they lost their heads.
One exception was a young farmer who was quick-witted and sharp-eyed. He was a brave young lad, never knowing true danger and decided he’d attempt the challenge. The boy wasn’t learned, having given up on schoolbooks and Latin with boredom years ago. He simply set out, with nothing but the clothes on his back, his shoes, and a satchel.
Along the way to the castle, he walked through a set of woods. The trees were so thick that he could barely fight through; branches were hard to navigate around and as soon as one was pushed away, it slapped back again. After getting smacked in the face by a twig for the umpteenth time, the boy muttered, “That is Twigmuntus,” before continuing on.
He came to a meadow soon after, where several cows were. Thinking to get some milk as the walk had been long, the cow he approached bellowed at him so that he was deafened. Wincing, he muttered, “That is Cowbelliantus,” before continuing on.
Near the end of his journey, the boy came to a river with a flooded bridge. Finding no way around it, he put his clothes and shoes in his sack and slung it on his back. He swam to the other end, but not before a perch came by and nipped him on the nose. When he came up for the air, he sputtered out, “That is Perchnosius!” before continuing on.
He made it the rest of the way to the castle, soaking wet but in good spirits. He went directly to the king and his colleagues, stating he was there for the challenge. Though he was eyed oddly, they allowed him to proceed doubting he’d be able to continue. Three of them began to ramble in a literary nonsense that made no sense to him. The boy kept his chin up until they were done and they asked how he would reply to that.
“That’s simple enough,” he said, with a cheeky smile. “I knew how to talk like that in my cradle. What I have to say to it is this: Twigmuntus! Cowbelliantus! Perchnosius!”
The room grew deathly quiet as the king and scholars struggled to understand the words. They repeated them, twisting them in their mouth and consulting each others. They pulled out their great books of learning, sending glances to each other – how could they not know it? An hour passed like this, before the boy spoke again – asking if they were going to respond to him.
They were forced to admit they couldn’t and the boy was declared the winner of the challenge, as he knew something the others hadn’t – an impossibility. He married the princess and was given half the kingdom and a promise for the other half, when the king died. The ending isn’t ‘happily ever after’, but it’s guaranteed he ran the kingdom better than the “wise” king did.
…And I suppose you’re wondering why I told this story. That’s simple. The person who can tell me the best one as to where they're from and why they're here, gets a dinner on me and a story from myself. It can be as non-sensical and unreal as you like.