InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "BOOM Shaggalaggalagga BOOM"

Miss Lois Lane (mslane) wrote in paragraffiti,
@ 2009-02-09 00:16:00

Current mood:	blank
Entry tags:	azula, clark kent (comic), father vincent, lana lang (lexmas), lois lane (comic)

[filtered against baddies]
I've fallen so far, and strayed so much. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find myself again. I wonder if I'll ever find my way back to ~~him~~ who I used to be.

[ooc: emo!Lois has been thinking too much. Hack the strike at will.]

(Post a new comment)

	ex_sonofkryp215 2009-02-09 12:34 am UTC (link)
	Probably not. [ooc: Guess which brand of Clark you're getting today!] (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:02 am UTC (link)
	...Well. Never thought I'd hear you say something like that. You're not exactly one to look at things so negatively. [ooc: ZOMG. flails My inner Chloes are having a OMGKAL stroke. Lois? Not so much. She's more confused and hurt right now. ...Is he gonna fuck with her head? lol] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_sonofkryp215 2009-02-09 01:05 am UTC (link)
	And I never thought you'd turn into such a whiny, insecure, needy little brat. But here we are. [ooc: Absolutely. xD] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:11 am UTC (link)
	...Clark. Why... why are you saying this to me? So you might have called off our engagement, but... I thought you still loved me. [ooc: Okay. She's crying. This is bad. ...damn, I wish she could be effected by this shit. I'd rather play her overtly horny instead of emo. lol] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:17 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:23 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:26 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:36 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:41 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:45 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:47 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:49 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:53 am UTC

	Lois decembervision 2009-02-09 01:09 am UTC (link)
	Please tell me you aren't listening to him. Something is obviously wrong with him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Lana mslane 2009-02-09 01:13 am UTC (link)
	My fiance broke off our engagement, and now he's making fun of me. It doesn't seem like him, but what am I supposed to think? He... maybe he hates me now. I don't know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Lois -

decembervision, 2009-02-09 01:16 am UTC

Lana -

mslane, 2009-02-09 01:18 am UTC

Lois -

decembervision, 2009-02-09 01:22 am UTC

Lana -

mslane, 2009-02-09 01:24 am UTC

Lois -

decembervision, 2009-02-09 01:25 am UTC

Lana -

mslane, 2009-02-09 01:32 am UTC

Lois -

decembervision, 2009-02-09 01:37 am UTC

Lana -

mslane, 2009-02-09 01:43 am UTC

Lois -

decembervision, 2009-02-09 01:47 am UTC

	sardonic_moon 2009-02-09 01:11 am UTC (link)
	I hear they're handing out free happy pills at the clinic today. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:14 am UTC (link)
	..."Happy" pills? No thanks. I'd rather live like this than live in psychosis. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sardonic_moon 2009-02-09 01:20 am UTC (link)
	Have you thought of starting up your own emo band? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:25 am UTC (link)
	...I'm a reporter, not a musician, you idiot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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sardonic_moon, 2009-02-09 01:28 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:30 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:32 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:37 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:40 am UTC

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sardonic_moon, 2009-02-09 01:54 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 02:01 am UTC

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sardonic_moon, 2009-02-09 02:10 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 02:17 am UTC

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sardonic_moon, 2009-02-09 02:38 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 02:51 am UTC

	princessazula 2009-02-09 01:18 am UTC (link)
	No. You'll forever complain about it. And whine about 'finding yourself' This place...I mean really its like my brother but theres more of him. The thought actually might make me feel ill (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:19 am UTC (link)
	...Well, thanks for that... shining burst of optimism, miss. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	princessazula 2009-02-09 01:22 am UTC (link)
	Well you will. All this hand to the forehead chatter of 'falling and straying' If you were any kind of woman at all you would do something about it. And its Princess not Miss. Princess Azula (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 01:28 am UTC (link)
	Well, for your information, princess, I've been trying. I've been trying so hard to be the woman I used to be, and I can't. I can't go back, and I don't know who I am anymore. And you have no idea what kind of woman I am, or what kind of woman I used to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 01:32 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:34 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:41 am UTC

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 01:47 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 01:51 am UTC

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 01:52 am UTC

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mslane, 2009-02-09 02:03 am UTC

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 04:56 am UTC

	ex_sonofkryp215 2009-02-09 01:22 am UTC (link)
	She's a real complainer, this one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	princessazula 2009-02-09 01:23 am UTC (link)
	I'm noticing. I was just too busy not caring to say anything until now. But then I had a free few minutes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ex_sonofkryp215 2009-02-09 01:27 am UTC (link)
	I think you should find some more free minutes. Let her have it. She deserves it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 01:29 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:32 am UTC

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princessazula, 2009-02-09 01:34 am UTC

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ex_sonofkryp215, 2009-02-09 01:35 am UTC

	ex_girlsuper149 2009-02-09 08:59 am UTC (link)
	You were the one who was going to marry her. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	heretic_saint 2009-02-09 02:12 am UTC (link)
	This is only a suggestion, but maybe instead of announcing that you've fallen; you should do something to maybe amend the problem. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mslane 2009-02-09 02:18 am UTC (link)
	...I didn't do this just to get attention, if that's what you're thinking. I was more... thinking out loud. I didn't think I'd be attacked for it. And I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heretic_saint 2009-02-09 02:33 am UTC (link)
	Hnnn. (Reply to this) (Parent)

dark_butterfly
2009-02-09 06:06 am UTC (link)

Honey, this is L.A. run by demons and vampires. You'll get attacked for saying you want a drink. Everything is ultra serious here. Unless it concerns some demon who's going to rip people's hearts out, people don't want to hear it.

I'm not blaming you, of course. I'm just saying, take a look at the people in this message board before you post something. Some people are helpful...but some not so much.

That being said, dead is dead. I'm not sure why you were supposed to stay faithful when the guy was, you know, gone. Maybe you should have waited a year, or two, but we all make mistakes. Question is, what are you going to do to find your way back to the person you were?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

woman who's actually polite

mslane
2009-02-09 08:57 am UTC (link)

I've posted some things here before... cryptic things, filtered. And no one said anything. Or at least, only people who had sound advice or were trying to be nice said anything. I just never expected people to act like this, and actually make fun of me for how I feel. I also didn't expect people to mock my career choice. I especially didn't expect one of those people to be my fiance. Or well... ex-fiance now, I guess.

He was dead, and I was in pain. I missed him, and this guy looked just like him. But... the thing was, it might have been cheating in a way, but in a way it wasn't. To spare you the sordid details, I'll just say it wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience in the world. It really couldn't have been, since the phrase "I might kill you if you don't give me everything I want" was hanging over my head. I'm not saying it was rape, because it certainly didn't start out that way, but... I'll just say he might have looked like Clark, but he wasn't a thing like Clark. In any way. Sorry if I've said too much there.

I... I have no idea. I wish I could be the way I used to be. People could bad-mouth me, talk down to me, and I'd take it all in stride with a smile on my face and tell them all to go to hell. Now people walk all over me, and all I can do is cry. I don't know if it was his death that changed me, or this city itself. I just know I'm not the woman I used to be, and I'd do anything to change that, risk anything. I just want to be Lois Lane again, the fearless, spunky girl reporter. I miss that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Lois

dark_butterfly
2009-02-09 09:21 am UTC (link)

Well, things have changed. Don't ask me why. I guess it's because of that Demon who's going around torturing people, or the vampire army getting ready to destroy things. People are tense. But that's no excuse for acting as rudely as they have been.

I think this insanity is catching too. Now that blonde girl who's his cousin is acting weird too.

Don't worry, I'm used to strange situations. It sounds like you were trying to recapture the memory of him, even though you knew it wasn't Clark. But if you were forced into it, then it's not really your fault either. People do strange things when they're in pain, and it sounds like this guy was nothing like how Clark was. But it didn't turn out the way you expected, so he's more at blame for this than you are. Had you been in a normal situation, you might have reconsidered midway. You never know until you're actually doing it. But you never got the chance, because of how he turned the situation against you.

It sounds like you're in need of serious reevaluating of your life. But I think the first step is stop listening to what other people say. These people are assholes, the ones who responded badly to you at least. That girl who insists on being called princess is insane, and the others aren't being themselves either. Only Alessa really spoke the truth, and that's because I know her a bit. I could tell if she was being influenced by this.

~~Wow, THE Lois Lane. And I gave advice to her. I'm rocking right now! Although it's strange talking about Superman as Clark, in this way...~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

polite woman

mslane
2009-02-09 12:09 pm UTC (link)

Wow. Didn't know about the demon or the vampire army, so you know a lot more than I do right now. I just knew a little bit about the magical pit thing.

Yeah, I noticed. She's treating me almost as badly as he is. And to think... when she first came here, I didn't even know her. Or at least, I didn't know her yet. And I still invited her with open arms. This is the thanks I get for that, I guess.

He wasn't. He tempted me, he taunted me, and you know, a woman has needs. He told me I could always pretend. He was like Clark in so many ways... the sound of his voice, his looks... if he was trying really hard, I think he could fake his personality. He drove me crazy, making me want him that way, and then he basically cornered me in an alley and told me what he wanted. He wanted information, and to use me as a sex toy. And he told me he might let me live if I did what he wanted. And I knew I couldn't fight him, because he's just as strong as Clark is. So I gave in. And since the moment he laid a hand on me, I think I've hated myself. He used my weakness and my pain against me. And now I'm paying for it. No one seems to understand. I thought Clark had begun to, but he hasn't, apparently.

I used to never show my emotions. I used to be like a hard-boiled egg... I kept all the softness, and gentleness, inside. I was a tough cookie. I poured all my passions into my work. And then Clark happened. And for so long, he was the only one who ever saw that side of me. He was the only one I really... let in. And now... I don't have that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)