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Tweak says, "Hello, Clarence"

Johanna Mason (awickedability) wrote in paradisolog,
@ 2016-07-06 14:16:00

Entry tags:

johanna mason (awickedability), ~chloe sullivan (ladywatchtower)

Who: Johanna Mason and Chloe Sullivan
What: The BFF meets the babymama, or something like that
When: Wednesday morning
Where: By the waterfall
Warnings: Probably not much but we'll get back to you
Status: Closed/Incomplete

Johanna was enjoying life on the island. The sex was great, yes. She wasn't going to lie about that. But the being able to choose whether to have it or not was her big thing, like she'd said to a couple people. Because back home, she would've been forced into it. And possibly the best thing of all? The ability to say no and suffer no consequences for it (since she was contributing in other ways, of course). Because she'd said no back home and suffered greatly as a result.

Here, though, she was happy. And so was Finnick, though he wasn't quite the Finnick she knew. Or, he wasn't the Finnick she knew yet was a better way of putting it. But that didn't matter, he was still Finnick and he was still her friend. Which meant she was still thrilled for him that he was happy. She hadn't met Chloe yet, which of course just wasn't going to do. She was going to have to meet her and give her approval. (Mostly jokingly, of course, because come on, really.) And she'd have to call dibs on godmother.

Mostly she just wanted to do that last one. Because Johanna. Because shameless.

Did we mention "because Johanna"?

At the moment, though, she was just sitting by the waterfall, watching the water thoughtfully. It was really pretty, she noted absently. The whole island was, yeah. Obviously. It had parts that really reminded her of home, which was nice. But one of her favorite parts was the waterfall and she wasn't quite sure why. But she certainly wasn't going to argue -- she wasn't an idiot, after all.

Footsteps behind her interrupted her reverie, though, and she turned slightly. "Hey," she greeted. "Feel free to pull up a seat, so to speak. I don't bite unless you ask first."

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ladyofwatchtowr
2016-07-08 11:31 am UTC (link)

Johanna didn't seem to hide her personality for anything. Chloe liked that. She kind of reminded her of Lois. Her cousin was right up in your face, too. Actually, she kind of missed Lois, and talking with Johanna kind of made her realize that.

Chloe laughed for the rapid fire talk. "We're keeping it, and I can bring it up to Finnick. We hadn't talked about godparents yet." But who would be the godfather? Maybe Jack?

Her hands went to cover her tummy as she looked down at herself. "It's weird? I mean, right now my emotions are all over the spectrum. I puke my guts up every morning, and I can't really feel the baby yet. So I just feel...off."

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awickedability
2016-07-08 11:53 am UTC (link)

Johanna smiled faintly. "You know, I can see Finnick wanting to keep the baby. The way we grow up back home, even the District he's from... it's not the best. We don't really have the chance to have healthy families. Here? It's completely different. And in that case, I really do wish him -- and you, obviously -- even more congratulations."

Because the island was pretty much the perfect place to raise a family.

At Chloe's comments about pregnancy she tilted her head thoughtfully. "Shit, I'm all over the spectrum anyway, how would people be able to tell I'm having mood swings?" she joked. "No, but seriously... I imagine it's all worth it. No matter how scary it probably is, it's worth it." A shrug. "I was a terrible sister and a terrible daughter, though, so I'm probably not the kind of person you want being a mother. Just yet, I mean, obviously I'm supposed to be a mother at some point along the line." And she would do it. Knew she could do it. But it'd be terrifying, she was sure. She'd have people, though -- Finnick, at the very least, and hopefully the baby's father -- and that would make it far less terrifying.

But really, she'd faced far more terrifying. She'd faced the Games, faced a rebellion. Motherhood... was far more terrifying, yeah.

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ladyofwatchtowr
2016-07-08 12:40 pm UTC (link)

A gentle smile came to Chloe's face as Johanna spoke about Finnick. When she came here, she had been looking to avoid exactly what she found herself in with him. Sure, she'd have a kid, but the original plan had been to give it to Arva and not be involved emotionally with anyone. The best laid plans of man and Chloe...

"I know some of what he went through," she said quietly. "He has nightmares. Bad ones." And Finnick had only recently told her what he'd been put through. "I'm glad I can help him have a better life here. He deserves it and more."

Then she tilted her head at Johanna. "Would you want to keep any child you have?"

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awickedability
2016-07-08 01:00 pm UTC (link)

Johanna frowned thoughtfully. "I... maybe. Part of me wants to, but part of me is legitimately scared about what kind of parent I'd be to a kid. I mean..." She hesitated. "What exactly has Finnick told you about what we went through?" Because she wasn't going to tell her about the Games if Finnick hadn't already. That was their shared story, true, but she wasn't going to tell it first. Chloe and Finnick were involved; that made it his story to tell first.

And what Johanna had done in the games made her sick. She'd had to do it, true, but she hadn't wanted to. Hadn't liked it. Had been good at it, though, and that made her wonder what kind of person she was. Was she the kind of person that deserved to raise a child? Did she deserve to have that kind of goodness in her life? But at the same time, if she was worthy of being chosen by Arva, then obviously she was. She just had to realize that first -- nobody ever said she wasn't hardheaded. And if they did, they were lying to you.

"But I'm here, so I mean, hey. I've got to at least have the potential to make a good mother, right?" she said optimistically. "I'd just... probably need a lot of help with the whole managing things part at first. But then again, who doesn't?"

It was strange, how talking to Chloe had made her realize that yeah, she would keep her child if given the choice.

"But I don't know if I'd keep every child I had," she said. "Which brings up how I'd choose who to keep and who to give to Arva. And how I'd feel about the choice. Which I think would be the most heart-wrenching part of motherhood."

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ladyofwatchtowr
2016-07-08 02:19 pm UTC (link)

"He told me about the Games," Chloe said gently with a sympathetic smile on her face. Her fingers laced together in her lap as she spoke. "And what the victors, or at least him, had to do after." She shook her head. "I can't even imagine it. And I definitely don't know how he came out of all that being as nice as he is."

Chloe lifted her eyes to Johanna appraisingly as she tilted her head again, then smiled. "I think you'd be a good mom if only because you know how horrible people can be to each other and you wouldn't want that to come out." She shrugged. "And we're all a community here. You'd have help."

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