InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Beware...muhahahaha!"

Ernest (Ernie/Ern) Macmillan (ernsthename) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-12-26 21:00:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 09 2003, character: ernie macmillan, character: zacharias smith

Who: Ernie Macmillan and Zacharias Smith
What: A breakfast time encounter.
Where: The Daily Grind; A small cafe close to Diagon Alley.
When: November 9, 8:00 AM.
Rating: Worksafe, maybe; Maybe some swearing.

The past couple of days--or just over a week--made for "character-building" days. Ernie was still in a bit of disbelief over the events of the past couple of days in particular...just since he was trying his best to be reasonable, and it all just backfired. After Justin's party, he had spent the better part of the time that he wasn't preparing for, attending, and recovering from the DA meeting cleaning out the ever-present smell of alcohol that seemed to penetrate everything in his flat. The smell has since gone stale, but was far more subtle than the initial drenching--Ern wasn't sure which was worse, but was determined to get the smell out by the time he returned to work.

The heavy bag of gold coins sat on the coffee table next to the candy dish, as if asking for someone to remove it. Ernie knew that he'd have to return it to Zacharias, even if it appeared to be gifted. The man was drunk, after all. And besides that, he didn't need Smith's money. He wasn't in the least like his parents--even if he did have his own aspirations. And he would protest that he was doing rather well for himself. He still had trouble determining how he would react to Zacharias, as he felt a mixture of pity and anger at the person...he had always wondered whether these feelings were compatible. Apparently they were.

Ernie considered seeking out Zacharias sometime later that day, after a coffee (or two), and was waiting in line for his first large coffee.

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ernsthename
2011-12-30 07:39 am UTC (link)

Ern was going to ignore all of the bullshit that Zacharias was spewing about how he was carrying himself like a superior, or his questioning in general since it was rather offensive. But it was an open invitation for Ern to offer feedback...

"Well, if you can start by just for once acknowledging that there are at least some people out there looking out for your well-being. Not just out of pity, charity, projecting some sort of image, or self-interest--but just out of human decency. I'm treating you in a way that I see as proper to treat other human beings. It wouldn't hurt if you if you put that into practice more often too. If you expect or desire that people treat you with respect, treat them with respect. Most people who aren't complete fools, who aren't insane, will only show respect to those who respect them." Ern was sure that he was among the absolutely insane for having given Zacharias too many chances and undermined his own self-respect in the process.

"And try to accept that people are looking out for your well being for what it is, even if it may not always match up exactly to what you want. Whatever the hell that may be. I don't do legilimency. If I really did hate you, maybe I would've let Michael and Jasper have at you a bit longer."

He paused for a moment, realizing that wasn't the case. "Or no--I would've still stopped them right away. But fuck, I probably would've had an easier time at it since I wouldn't have immediately panicked and realized I could've dealt with it differently."

"And something is obviously more wrong than you're openly admitting--the last time I've checked you hated your father. It can't be that alone." Although Ernie can admit having some knowledge of a love-hate relationship with parents. He knew that the deaths of either or both of his parents would've disturbed him greatly, but not to the extent of disturbance Zacharias seemed to be exhibiting. "It would help to know in exactly what ways your life is fucked up so that maybe some sort of solution that isn't getting drunk and burning bridges."

"And I don't think of myself as better than you. Maybe that's your own fucked up thought process. It's irresponsible for me to see you or anyone struggle like this and not offer any sort of help or support. I don't hold any sort of illusion that I can save you. You'd probably need no less than five years with a full-time shrink to even approach being saved from your own damned self-destructive behaviours." Ernie felt as though he let that out in one continuous breath--but it needed to be said. He was that frustrated, after all.

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