Welcome to the Otherworld

Dear Tiny Menaces Living in My Home,

A list of important facts for you to remember:

1. Yes, the lights are out.
2. No, I do not know why they are out.
3. Yes, I am going to fix them.
4. No, I do not know how long it will take for me to do this.
5. Yes, you should shut up.
6. No, you cannot make a bonfire in the living room. I don't care if it's "contained."

Love,
Auntie Mo

P.S. - These rules will be posted on the fridge.
P.P.S. - If anyone needs me, I will be out by the fucking generator.

Newly-arrived fae are welcome at the Black Cat Cafe, and will be offered discounted or free meals until they have acclimated. If acclimation starts to look too much like freeloading, I'm going to start getting testy.

The cafe is also available as a meeting place if anybody wants to conduct negotiations for Bonds or trade. We're secure, discreet, and make a mean gingerbread.

People who trash my business will not be welcome back. Fair warning.