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Derek Morgan (derek__morgan) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2013-06-11 15:07:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2013 06, character: april kepner, character: derek morgan, character: eliot spencer

RP: Derek, Eliot, April
Who: Derek, Eliot, April
Where: Camp Site
When: Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Summary: Derek tries to talk to Eliot again

The past few days had been extremely busy, trying to adjust schedules and routines to a world with no schedules and routines, using the sun and the rain as much as the watches. Still there was time to catch up with people, and Derek was trying to use the time to talk to the new arrivals, get a sense of who they were, profiling without meaning to. There were two people that he wanted to talk to. Not new arrivals, but they might as well be in a way, because half of the team didn't know. Of course, they also had it worse, because the half that did know didn't trust them.

He approached Eliot, while April was putting Eve in the car to sleep. "Hey there. Maybe we could join your wife and have a little talk." It wouldnt give them complete privacy, but there was no such things as privacy when they were living on top of each other, and this was the best they could do without risking lives.

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	_eliot_spencer 2013-06-11 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	Eliot shrugged. "Sure." He walked over to April, resting his hand on her shoulder. "We have company," he told her. (Reply to this) (Thread)

april_kepner
2013-06-11 07:25 pm UTC (link)

April was just getting into the car when she felt Eliot's hand on her shoulder, turning she smiled at Derek. "Hi, Derek," she said, before climbing into the car and making room for the two men to follow her inside.

"Come on in to our home," she said jokingly. "Do you like what we've done with the place?" As much as she missed her home, her real home, with real furniture, there wasn't anything she could do about things and she might as well make the best of the situation. Since whining wouldn't help, she might as well joke about it, while still praying that their time here would be brief.

"It's nice to see you again," she said earnestly once they were all in the car. She might have had her differences with the way things were, but she still liked most people - and Derek had helped her through things when she needed it, and she wasn't one to forget that.

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derek__morgan
2013-06-11 07:33 pm UTC (link)

Derek chuckled. "Yes, the General Motor look is all the rave lately," he answered. "But who knows, if the math boys can come up with something about the structure of the mountain we might go cave men for the summer. Change things around." He still wasn't sure how it was going to work, but if Robert and Dom found a way to create caves, at least to sleep, he'd be very happy.

"We all would have been happier if it had happened under different circumstances," he said, taking a seat in one of the captain chairs.

He looked at the two of them, knowing how easily Eliot would walk out in huff if he heard or thought he heard the wrong thing. "Eliot and I spoke briefly on arrival," he started, "and things didn't go as planned, so I wanted to make sure that we're all on the same page, because mistakes here are a little more deadly than at home." And how weird, he had come to think of Omega as home, but then home was where the team was, so he supposed home was here now.

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	_eliot_spencer 2013-06-11 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	"So far as I know we are. Follow orders, keep quiet, don't get eaten," Eliot said. There really wasn't much to it. Whatever was said the other day didn't change anything in the long run. He looked at April, to see if she had anything to add. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

april_kepner
2013-06-11 07:46 pm UTC (link)

"I don't think any of us wanted dinosaurs in the mix," April replied. "And caves would be brilliant, you could actually lay down properly." She was so glad she wasn't pregnant right now.

She gave Eliot a look when he spoke, silently telling him to make an effort. He'd told her his side of things that had happened of course, and she could share his frustration, but at the same time she could see the other point of view too. They had left, and they would put Eve first - always - she would never change her mind about that, but at the same time they did try to help when they could.

"We're trying," April said to Derek. "I know it won't be easy, and some people will never trust us again or will always think we're selfish for leaving, but we are trying to do our best and help out as much as we can, while making sure not to get eaten," she added with a smile. The lack of privacy was the hardest part to get used to, but there was nothing to do about it.

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derek__morgan
2013-06-11 07:54 pm UTC (link)

"Not getting eaten is a very wise decision on everyone's part," he said, smiling.

"Can I give you a suggestion?" he said. "Following orders is something you have to do because it's the only way that we all stay alive, but words are important to people, especially when we have little else. You want to say that you will follow order, you'll pitch in, you'll help, that's all great. Don't talk about being part of the team, because no one will believe you, not right now. I don't even know what this team has had to go through in the past five months, and I don't pretend to understand how some of the new friendships even came about, but they exist, and they had five months to cultivate these relationships, to grow strong together, while you were viewed like the people who abandoned the team.

"Saying that you're part of the team, won't make you so. I would say it show it, but Eliot has made it clear that you're ready to leave as soon as possible. So don't bother, don't try to pretend, because you will get people angrier." Derek sighed. "I know it's hard to be on the outside, but I think you'll find that people are more receptive if you just admit that you will do what you can without being part of this team. That's what I was trying to say the other day."

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april_kepner
2013-06-11 08:40 pm UTC (link)

Returning to the team had been hard on both of them, but especially on Eliot. While she had spent the first weeks and months of their leaving wondering if they'd done the right thing, Eliot had thrived away from the group the moment they'd left, but then Eliot had never really found his place in this team. She also knew how hard things were for him now and didn't need to look at him to know how sensitive this matter was to him.

"I would hope that our actions both before we left and after we returned show that we want to help and pitch in, more than our words ever could," April answered, though she felt sometimes people here had a selective memory. "And I personally have never said anything about being a part of the team since returning, I'm still trying to get to know people." If anything she was still figuring out what her role was when the one thing she'd always been had passed to someone else. Now she was just the least trained person here, the burden for the rest of them to carry, and no amount of moving cars around would change that.

"I'm not pretending to be a part of the team, neither is Eliot. Would I be happier if I could be accepted and have a place here? Of course I would, we both would, but I'm not stupid enough to think that we can just return and be accepted."

"One thing though, while we've said that we'll settle somewhere in some dimension, sometime in the future, eventually others will think about leaving too. We're from different dimensions, some will want to return to their homes, some will want to stay with the group or their partner, some of us will settle, knowing our own dimension isn't an option. We might have been the first to make the call, but we won't be the last and somehow, someday, that will have to be dealt with."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-11 08:55 pm UTC (link)

Derek nodded. "Actions count, but that's why I said words matter as well as gesture. Team for me, for anyone in law enforcement, for a lot of people here means family. Maybe not in a traditional sense of the word, but it's still family. The problem is that your actions show that while you're ready to help while here, you will leave when it's good for you, and family doesn't do that."

He looked at the two of them. "But this discussion is a result of what Eliot brought up, April. You might not want to be part of the team, but in one conversation several issues came up, which ... well, that concerned me, because like I told Eliot, the four of us will always do what's right, regardless of personal feelings, but if you say things like 'Vance had a chance of heart', then you will get people very upset."

He didn't think it was as simple as she thought. "Maybe you're right, maybe there will be people leaving. I know we have at least two, but they are leaving to fight another war. I doubt anyone would be upset because they want to fight another war or anyone willing to help them. The rest? I don't know all of them, and I can see a few more settling back in their dimension if we find it, but the majority has no home to go back to. In fact, with the exception of Claudia and Helena, everyone else has either been declared dead or has a cover story in place back in our reality. Even if we go back to our reality, it's highly unlikely that anyone will go home. With the two large family groups we have, I think it is unlikely that people will want to return home and be hunted down while being alone." He shrugged. "There's really nothing to deal with, April. You want to leave when you can, and if we manage to leave this dimension, then you can stay wherever, but otherwise, you'll find that no one else is going to relocate, no one is going to risk leaving their family or not having a doctor. For most of those people, this team is family and that's why they take it so personally."

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april_kepner
2013-06-14 07:52 pm UTC (link)

"So why are we looking for a way home? Why aren't we looking for a place to settle, somewhere we could build a community, a school for our children, real homes? A Dimension where we don't have to run from the government or submit to them, but where we can just live in peace without moving every few months?" April asked, knowing that if they did that, she wouldn't be the one to leave, though she wasn't sure about Eliot.

"I know a lot of you want to return home, to fight, to work for the government, to do the right thing. You're military, agents, law enforcement or family - it's what you do, and I get that, but that option isn't there for all of us. You can't believe the government would just accept Eliot being there, can you? And I know the option of keeping this group a secret from the government isn't one you'd consider. It's not what you want, and I respect that, but it also means that the option of returning with you simply isn't there for us, at least not if we want to stay together."

"I'm not judging how they feel, or holding it against them, or telling them to feel differently. We'll try to think about what we say in the future, however. I have no reason to want to upset people further."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-14 08:19 pm UTC (link)

There was the crux of the matter. Their way of thinking was so far different, and they came from such different places that sometimes meeting in the middle wasn't as easy.

"We're looking for a way home, because it's the right things to do," he said, using her own words. "But in more practical terms, who do you think would want a place to settle? No matter the dimension, we'd be outcasts. We'd have to stick together to hide our powers, and you go back to the who. Derek and John want to go home to fight their war. Claudia, and I'm assuming Helena since they work together, would want to go home and work for their agency. Take out the military, agents, cops, firefighters, and who do you have left? Alexis and Tim, Tommy and Oliver, all of whom want to go home. The Hammonds, although I'm told the twins go with Travis and Travis would most likely come with us, and that would mean the rest of the family. T his is why I said that I don't think the question of leaving is an issue. No one will complain about people returning to their own dimension, but there's really no one who wants to settle."

Derek sighed. "There are also a host of problems that come with settling. In a new dimension, with no money, there's no way we could have the type of insular life we had at the ranch, and integrating is a pipe dream. You have your daughter making things float. How long before someone noticed and you had to relocate? What happens when you have to send her to school and she does something? Now multiply that for every adult and child and we can never stay anywhere for longer than a few homes, even without a government hunting us. This dimension is pretty much the only place where we can settle and not have to relocate, but we can never be a productive part of life, here or in another dimension. At best, we can simply survive. Going home gives us a chance to do something with our lives. Yes, we'll have to tell the government, because there are our counterparts to deal with, but more than that, it's because it's the only way we can do accomplish something with our lives. Maybe we will end up running for our own government, but more likely, we will be working for it, and yes, I do believe that there is a place for everyone, including Eliot. Whatever crimes he committed, I'm sure they will be pardoned if it means using his power."

He looked at Eliot for a moment, trying to figure out if he was really listening and keeping an open mind about this. "I know you haven't said anything, April. This isn't some sort of reprimand, direct or indirect. I want you to be as integrated as possible and that's why I'm talking to you. That's all."

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april_kepner
2013-06-14 08:47 pm UTC (link)

"You believe they'll pardon him, but you don't know. You're asking us to trust that government because you do, but there is nothing to say that they won't like the idea of experimenting on him more. Or asking him to use his powers for the kind of work they had him do once before, that turned him into the man he was before. What about when he refuses? What if you're simply wrong and they find it safer to kill him? You're taking a chance by going back, but you have to admit that the risks are greater for Eliot and Nate than for the rest of us. Why would they trust them at all?"

"There was a reason we wanted to settle where we were. We had some money, enough to build a life. Perhaps it would have meant a lot of moving, but it still felt safer than returning and handing ourselves over to the government. Now if I thought for a moment that you'd consider letting us slip away before contacting the government it would be different, but I wouldn't ask that of any of you, because I know it goes against everything you believe. You want to make a difference, you want to work for the government, you'll do what's right. I respect that, but as much as I would want to do the right thing too, I want to make sure my daughter has her father when she grows up more."

April looked at Eliot, knowing that he was paying careful attention, listening but forcing himself not to speak out of fear of saying something that would be held against him later. Turning back to Derek she gave him a small smile."I know what you're trying to do, and we're grateful. We do want to be integrated, it's a lot easier than being on the outside."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-14 09:05 pm UTC (link)

"No, I believe they will pardon him, not because I believe they are good and noble, but because he's a valuable asset. You work with them or they do kill you. Or we all run together. They are at no greater risk, because they won't trust any of us. Not a single one of us, April. We know that. We're not discounting the possibility that we'll have to run there, too, but there is the possibility that we won't. It's a risk, yes, but the alternative means moving from dimension to dimension, from town to town until we die." He was confused by the way she was presenting her case, though. "What kind of work did the government made him do? What do you think they made him do that they would make him do again?" If anything, Special Ops went to the most important missions, saving lives across the world. Derek knew that he was missing something, a lot of something, and couldn't reassure her without the information.

"I get that, April, but you have no money now. You have no identity. You just left a dimension that imploded on itself. What do you think it would happen in the next dimension? You have nothing. We have nothing. We are ghosts, and ghosts don't last, not with families." He knew a few people who could. He'd just spent five months with three of them, and he knew that for all of his undercover skills, he wasn't even as good as them. "I'm going to tell you what I told Eliot. We have no intention of keeping you with us, but even if we'd let you slip as you put it, you'd be dead. They have your counterparts. How long before they found you? We have video recognition. We have phones under control. If they really want to find someone, they will find them. You have to start thinking what do you want to teach her daughter? Can you really have her on the run forever? Never settling, never trusting anyone, never dating, never marrying, because that's what you will be doing to her, because she will never be able to explain the differences, the two sets of powers she has, the lack of birth certificate, social security. I think those are things you need to consider, because it's all nice and well now that she's a baby, but that baby will become a teenager and eventually a woman."

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_eliot_spencer
2013-06-15 05:02 am UTC (link)

Eliot finally spoke up. He'd been keeping silent, mostly because he didn't want to get into another fight that went nowhere. But now Derek was talking about his past and this was part of things that affected them in the now.

"I'm a criminal, Morgan - one hundred percent, no question. And that's the crux of it," Eliot said. "No matter how hard I've tried to become a part of this team, since even before I'd lost my normal sight, it was never gonna happen because I'm a criminal and the rest of you ain't. I accepted that back when we were in Vermont, and when it came up that ya'll wanted to be the heroes you are by returning to New York, I stuck by what I am and thought of myself first.

"You're right in that I'm selfish, and I'll always be selfish, because I'm a criminal and a killer, and not a goddamned 'good guy' like the rest of you. Trying to be otherwise got me nowhere but a stock boy job.

"And if you don't think we could disappear back in our dimension, you got another think coming. You're used to dealing with splashy serial killers or zealot terrorists, not professional criminals who have more money and contacts across the globe than your agencies could fathom. But whether we make it to that dimension or any other, it's best for all that I get out of your lives so there's no concern for your team 'family'."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-15 02:15 pm UTC (link)

He always felt that he was talking about a million things at once when talking to them, but then he was used to that with Callen. He just needed to be just as careful with his words. "Eliot, you were a stock boy, because of your eyes, not because of your past," Derek continued. "We've always assigned jobs based on physical conditions and abilities. You have your eyes back, you can fire a gun without a delay. You can be part of the team, because if we find our way back and work for a federal agency, we're not going to push reports or giving lectures. We'll be out in the field dealing with enemies that normal people can't get to easily. Your skills are valuable."

Derek stared at the other man. "You can be a criminal, but you can't afford to be selfish. You have a daughter now. What you do will affect her more than it will affect me."

He leaned back. "Assume that you could disappear, which I don't know if it's even possible when the government really wants to found you. It might take time, but with all the technology there is, no one disappears forever, but let's assume for a moment that you can do that. How many deals do you have to make to get what you need? How many times will you have to make them when your little girl slips up and shows her power? And how soon before some of the people you made a deal with want to use your power? The government might be suspicious of you, bu how kind are those people? How quickly would they use your wife and child to get you to do what they want? And who do you think is going to have to stop you when you start using your powers for other criminals or terrorists?"

He sighed. "Look, before you decide on your nice imaginary life in another dimension or escape the government, think. This isn't just you anymore. This is a child with two superpowers who won't understand why she can't use them, why making things float will mean that her life changes all over again. It means bringing her up without any roots, without a sense of family. You want to go back to being a criminal or an assassin, guess what job she'll end up doing when she grows up, because she won't know anything else."

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_eliot_spencer
2013-06-16 06:43 pm UTC (link)

"Yet, as you pointed out, even before we left we weren't a part of this team. If we had been, do you think we would've gone? And do you think that I'm stupid enough to believe that it was my sight that benched me when I was an integral part of things at the ranch, when I worked daily with the units and then was even given more responsibility? No, it was my failure with the students and punishment for it. It either was Vance or one of you four deciding I was useless, or worse: to even have around your units."

Vermont had been one of the unhappier periods of Eliot's life, and it hadn't been until Nate arrived and told him to stop trying to be what he wasn't that he'd given up on fitting in. April had been relegated to babysitter, so it wasn't as if she wasn't depressed. Not that anyone but him noticed or cared.

"My daughter comes first. How she's raised is up to me and April to decide. If she has family, she has roots, and that's us, not you or the others. While we're thankful Vance decided not to kill us like he'd promised, it doesn't change the fact that we haven't been wanted around since last August, which being the grand profiler you are, you already knew."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-16 07:08 pm UTC (link)

"Jesus, you're paranoid." And not even the way they were. "There was no punishment at all. Vance wanted you to work with the kids and you worked with the kids. At the school, we needed something completely different and that's what we did. You couldn't drive on those roads, you couldn't shoot. You trained with the rest of the office personnel, because that was what you could do. Or do you think that Nell and Brian and Sean were there for punishment too? We don't do punishment. We put people where we need them."

Derek snorted. "So we're back to you and your feelings. You know, you two have decided, and that's fine. I won't try to change your minds again, but don't tell me this is for the good of the team, or even for your daughter's future. This is for you, both of you, because you don't feel appreciated. You think that we're some kind of drones, following what our superiors tell us without thinking and April? I don't know why you think that the government would turn anyone into a criminal or a killer, and I'd truly like to know where you got that deluded idea, especially if you're using it not to give Eve a decent future. When you're willing to talk about whatever story you think you know, I'll be happy to listen."

He reached for the handle to go, but still looked at them. "I said my peace, but I hope you'll reconsider, for your daughter's sake, because Eliot, you've mentioned how you felt, but you hadn't said anything about what I said about the future and being the grand profiler I am, I know it's because you know that I'm right. That in dimensions with no contacts, you'll be nothing but low level criminals always on the run. That in our dimension, you'll be hunted down like an animal. That there is only one choice if you want to give her a future. I know that you know, because when you don't like the options, you scowl and change the subject. You don't like to face reality, but this time, it's not you or April paying the price. Think about that."

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april_kepner
2013-06-17 06:25 pm UTC (link)

There were few things April was not willing to discuss, but to discuss details of Eliot's past with anyone but him was one of those things. The government had asked him to kill, and anything he'd done thereafter had been done as a result of the damage done to him because of those orders. There were things she would say however, to both the men in the car.

"Eliot, you were a criminal, you aren't one, keep your tenses straight," she said firmly, before turning to look at Derek. "Nor will Eliot ever be one again. In any dimension or any possible future. He's not that man any longer and the fact that you'd draw the conclusion that that's his only option other than staying with the team says more about you than him. You talk about Eve, but don't you think we've thought about her? That we always think of her?"

"I don't know that we have all the answers, or that we've made the right choice, but it's not as clear cut as you make it out to be either. The options aren't safe and happy with the team or miserable and future as a criminal without it. I don't know what's best for my family right now, and we need time to figure out what is best for our family, and our daughter."

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derek__morgan
2013-06-17 06:35 pm UTC (link)

"April, the fact that I think he will become a criminal and so will you is not based on who you are, but what life will make you do," he said with a sigh.

"No money, no birth certificates, no documents, no license. How do you get those in a world where we have no money and no contacts?" he asked. "This isn't about safe and happy with the team at all. I don't think it will be easy or happy for you or Eliot for a long time. In a way, I think it would be easier for Nate, because he didn't have the strong connections so they resent him less. This is about being clear what the options are when you make those choices."

He looked at Eliot again. "You've never been punished, but you have to accept that things change. Your eyesight, your contacts, the political situation back home. You can't afford to storm out when something isn't the way you like it. You need to think things through, and you, even better than April, should know what it's like to disappear from the scene for years. How many contacts will not be there? How many will not trust a man who's disappeared for years? Where you in jail? Did you flip? That's if we get home. Anywhere else, you don't have any contact. I'm just saying that you think about it."

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_eliot_spencer
2013-06-17 06:47 pm UTC (link)

"No matter what we did, do, or will do, will be held against us with those who were around before, because if there was no trust before we even thought of leaving after being with ya'll for more than a year, that trust won't ever come now," Eliot said.

"What we do is up to us. We won't endanger you guys when we're with you. If we leave, we'll do it when you can be sure we're not your problem anymore. Otherwise, we'll be seen, not heard, and you can just ignore us."

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april_kepner
2013-06-17 06:55 pm UTC (link)

"Nonsense, Eliot, of course we'll be heard. We'll talk to people, we'll try to make friends. We have no wish to be on the outside any more than we have to be."

"Eliot does have a point, however, we won't hold our breath for anyone to trust us, and truth is whether we stay with you or leave, there is a very small likelihood of us ever being trusted by those whose been here the longest."

"We will however do everything in our power to be of as much help as possible. We have no wish to antagonise anyone, just to make our choice about what's best for our family."

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