Charlie Townsend (imupintheair) wrote in ofourowndevice, @ 2013-09-06 00:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | 07-12-13, charlie, finley |
I'll wrap my hands around your neck so tight with love
Who: Charlie and Finley
Where: Charlie and Jai's apartment // hotel grounds near Morning Star Grill
When: early morning and onward, around 7AM
What: Nightmarish reactions
Warnings: NSFW -- themes of alcoholism and rape in Charlie's dream
Charlie was not an aggressive or overly violent person. He was a people person, he liked to make people laugh and smile. He had a fondness for people, and he certainly took his job at the hotel seriously. Wrapped up as he was in a horrific dream, Charlie saw his life spiral out of control, plunging him into a depression after forgetting several mission essential tasks at work. Sure, he could be forgetful, but he'd never messed up that bad. If it had been the first offense, he would have gotten off with a warning by the security manager, but that just wasn't the case. Instead of dealing with it with a certain level of maturity and grace, Charlie got drunk. For several weeks on end. And in the process, he was completely and totally convinced that the female guest he hit on at the bar was into him. She was just playing hard to get when she told him to cut it out, right? Through the fog of alcohol, Charlie misinterpreted her wince of disapproval as a shy smile, deciding to think of his following her back to her room as making sure she was safe. Try as she might, Charlie was stronger than she was, and it was all too easy for him to force his way into her room. "Please," she cried. "Please, don't do this," she tried to push him away, but he just smiled and grabbed her.
The final realization for him that he was unwanted was when she smashed a vase against his head and he collapsed to the ground. Waking up in hand-cuffs was never something that Charlie would have ever imagined would happen to him. What was worse, if it were possible, was the distinct feeling that there had been a dramatic shift in the way it felt to wake up in the hotel. He'd always felt like he couldn't leave -- he had a job to do, people to help, how could he leave? -- but this was different. The dawning realization of the consequences of his actions hit him and the entire world lurched. He felt the distinct feeling of falling, like he was rushing through the air and about to meet the ground.
Sitting bolt upright in bed, Charlie stared wildly around the room, his breath coming in gasps. He tore at the skin of his chest wordlessly, his hands coming up to brush at his face as if he might be able to eradicate the dream from his memory that way. But no, it was all there, in his head. Without another thought, Charlie jumped out of bed and threw some clothes on and headed outside. He needed fresh air so he could breathe, and of course that meant he'd grabbed his cigarettes. He relapsed again and again, and like hell was he going to get through these next moments without a smoke. Once outside and into the morning heat, he walked away from the staff housing, his pace rapid and his jaw tight. He wanted to get the hell away from that dream but he wouldn't be able to walk far enough before the barrier knocked him out.
Hands shaking as he lit up a cigarette, Charlie took a long pull, feeling his lower lip tremble just the slightest bit. It was just a dream, he thought. Wasn't it? He would never do something like that. Sure, he liked attention and he liked to flirt with people. He had a healthy appetite for that sort of thing, but he had never, ever taken something like that. From anyone. Charlie was a lot of things, but he was not that. "Can't even say it," he mumbled around the cigarette he'd put to his lips so many moments ago that he'd all but forgotten about it. Taking another drag, he sighed and laughed humorlessly to himself for a moment as he stared off into space. "Least I have the day off today, right? RIGHT?" As far as he could tell, there wasn't anyone else around at this particular moment. What he did know was that he was pissed off, scared and just plain disgusted. "It was just a dream," he said, voice uncertain and shaking. It helped, but it still didn't shake the ever-growing revulsion that crawled underneath his skin. Would he really be capable of something like that? Charlie wanted to say no, he wanted to believe that he was a good person without a shadow of doubt. But now that his subconscious had keyed in on one of his greatest fears, there was no shaking it.
Charlie Townsend had some serious doubts.
A sound that was part laugh and part sob escaped his lips as he slumped over into a strange seated position on the steps up to the Morning Star Grill. "Seriously. What the fuck."