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Aderyn Rhiannon Ceredig ([info]feuillemort) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2022-06-12 16:02:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:aderyn ceredig, friar tuck, will scarlet

WHO: Aderyn Ceredig, Will Scarlet, Friar Tuck
WHEN: Sunday morning to begin with, but may move to later
WHERE: A A-frame cabin in an upstate NY forest
WHAT: Happy first birthday, Evie!
WARNINGS: Maybe talk about Addy's bad mental health but mostly nice?



Since convincing Iestyn and Henry to continue with their honeymoon and returning home with Evie, Addy's life had been in a bit of upheaval. David and Rhiannon had barely let her out of their sight and they had spent a lot of time organising counselling and doctor visits and other things. It had taken yet more convincing to have them not follow her to the cabin with Tuck and Will, but she had managed it by explaining it was always the bright light she had been looking forward to and taking it away was not really going to end well.

Besides, it was Evie's first birthday and the idea of spending it in the woods with her fathers was just awesome.

The cabin Tuck had found was gorgeous. It has a sweet little backyard with lights and a table. Nearby was a firepit and spa which was heated by a woodburner. The dining room table had just a lovely view of the forest beyond. Her bedroom was up in a lofted area, while Tuck and Will were downstairs. There was a lounge just off their bedroom, filled with comfy sofas and a carpeted area for Evie to play.

Most importantly, the cabin had wi-fi. Because as much as it was nice to get off the grid, Evie had made a promise to Iestyn she was not going to break. Since leaving Wales for home, Addy had texted Iestyn pretty much every hour, and usually several times an hour. She sent silly selfies, photos of Evie, reassurances she was okay, updates on how she was feeling. She sent him photos of her appointment cards so he would know she was taking this seriously. She only took a break from texting when she slept, but the second she woke up, she was back to it.

On the morning of Evie's birthday, they had been in the forest for two days. Addy sent Iestyn a good morning text, and then sort of glided down the stairs in her pajamas, Evie on her hip. She could smell coffee and bacon and god, she wished she could live with Tuck's cooking every day (sorry, David). She grinned as she found him, fussing around in the kitchen. "Hey, Tuck."

"Good morning!" he said, turning to smile warmly at her. "It's my birthday girl!" Tuck cheered, moving to kiss Addy and Evie on their respective heads. "I am making some oats for Evie, and some eggs and bacon for us!" It had taken Tuck a long time to be able to even look at porridge without panicking, but even though he never ate it, it could fix it for his daughter now without feeling like shit. Bacon helped. "Help yourself to coffee, dear. Will's on his way down."

"Mmmmm, gogo juice," Addy said, moving to the plunger to pour herself a mug of coffee while Evie flapped her arms around happily. Addy knew she was going to have to fill in Will and Tuck eventually but she had been putting it off because things were just so lovely here. She added cream and sugar to her coffee and moved over to the table. Once she had secured Evie into her high chair and sprinkled some dry cheerios onto the tray for Evie to pick at, she sat down herself and wrapped her hands around the steaming mug of coffee. She looked out the window and her chest felt so warm and peaceful. "That view," she said, gazing at the way the trees moved in the wind. "So good."



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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-21 11:49 am UTC (link)
Tuck chuckled and continued feeding Evie. There was no point in cleaning up now before she was finished. It was only going to get worse before it got better!

"Maybe a nerf bow," Addy giggled. "No tiny babies shooting themselves in the face, hmmm, Evie?"

"No!" Evie yelled, spraying more oats everywhere.

"You two are both menaces," Tuck said, but the tone of his voice was so adoring it was clear he didn't mind.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-21 01:10 pm UTC (link)
"I'm training her to take people out at the kneecaps as soon as she's nailed not falling over," Will said. He turned his head to look out the window, and smiled at the fresh new day out there. No roar of cars, no parishioners "just dropping by", just the wind in the trees and the sun shining down. He got to his feet and stretched. "Gonna open the door if nobody minds. Let the air in while this terror is penned in her chair."

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 10:04 am UTC (link)
"I can assure you I don't mind," Addy grinned, breathing in the fresh air as soon as Will swung the door wide. It was good and invigorating and Addy kind of wanted to go out for a jog through the trees, smelling that.

She wouldn't though, if she tried she would be keeled over five minutes in, groaning.

They finished their breakfast like that, laughing and talking, the sunshine streaming in.

A little later, Addy had put Evie down for a nap and she clomped down the stairs, on out to the porch where Tuck and Will were sitting. She held up the baby monitor and set it on a small table before sitting down in a deck chair. The second she was seated, Tuck handed her a beer and while Evie took it, she sort of set it aside without opening it.

Oh god, she should really-

Here we go-

"Can I talk to you two for a second? Just- Some things I should let you know."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-22 10:20 am UTC (link)
Will was whistling to himself and whittling at a piece of wood with his pocket knife. He couldn't match Stutely or Little John for technical skill, but he had a good amount of artistry going on. It was... interpretive.

"Yeah, what's the story?" he said, feeling nice and comfortably settled. He squinted at Addy for a second, then back at his work.

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 10:33 am UTC (link)
Tuck had been reading while nursing his beer, but he put his book down so he could properly listen to Addy. "Whatever it is, we're here."

"I know," Addy said, smiling a little. "Look, I know this isn't exactly a secret," she started. "That I've been having a hard time recently. It got pretty bad. Like really horribly bad. But going to Wales and seeing my Ma's grave- Anyway, I- I just thought I should let you know I'm doing things to take care of myself now."

Tuck glanced over at Will, because he knew Will had been the one to go out and try to cheer up Addy.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-22 10:40 am UTC (link)
"Good, well that's good to hear," Will said, glancing back at Tuck. "Talking to people is a good start. Your family are helping?" Of course he'd filled Tuck in on everything he'd thought it important to share. They shared a child with Addy, Tuck needed to be informed.

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 10:43 am UTC (link)
"Yes, I told them. Henry and Iestyn nearly stopped their honeymoon, the idiots. But I managed to convince them to keep going. Da and Rhiannon know as well. I'm going back to my shrink to see about meds. I just thought I should let you know it got bad there for a bit. Like. Like 'I don't want to go on' bad."

Tuck leaned forward and he reached out to lay a gentle hand on Addy's arm. "I've been there myself, dear girl. I'm so sorry you're going through that. We're here for whatever you need."

"Well being out here with you both and Evie is helping so much."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-22 11:20 am UTC (link)
Idiots? Hmm. Will didn't know if it was idiotic to want to take care of Addy if she was in a dark place like she said. He tapped the flat of the blade against the wood, his eyes on Addy now and not on his task.

"Anything we can do?" he asked, his eyes going to the unopened can of beer for a moment. Sure, it'd suck to not be drinking for the next couple of days, but if it helped...

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 11:56 am UTC (link)
"Just be your amazing selves," she said with a small smile. "I'm not going to drink though, but thanks for the beer. Been doing a little too much of it." She wasn't addicted and had had no difficulty at all stopping. It was just that she had been using it to distract herself and she couldn't do that any more.

"And I- I sort of uhm...I stopped going to University."

Tuck blinked at her then. He had been watching Evie at his work during the day so she could study. "I'm sorry, what? When?"

"Sort of...three weeks in?" Addy said wincing.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-22 12:28 pm UTC (link)
Well, if anyone would understand using alcohol as a crutch, it'd be Will. But giving up study- and lying to people about it, lying to them as they watched her daughter for her- that was indicative of a huge problem. "You quit after three weeks?" he repeated, watching her thoughtfully. "So you've spent the last, what, three months? doing what, exactly? Sitting alone drinking?"

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 12:33 pm UTC (link)
"Not always," Addy said, shrugging. "Sometimes I was doing things I never got to do. Iestyn and I came here to do all the touristy things and almost immediately we got sequestered to our house. Then I got tortured and once I recovered I got pregnant and I was sequestered again. So I went to the statue of liberty and the empire state building and the MOMA. All the things I wanted to do but didn't get to."

"I- Addy, you don't have to go to university if you don't want to," Tuck explained slowly, "I would have been fine watching Evie while you did your touristy things. I just wish you hadn't lied about it."

"I was scared," Addy said with a sigh. "Scared of admitting I don't know what I'm doing."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-22 12:59 pm UTC (link)
"Scared? Not too scared to be off all over New York alone and maybe not sober when nobody knew where you were." Maybe Tuck wasn't annoyed, but Will was. Not that he was the most responsible person in the world either, but she'd lied to them. He didn't want to go off at her when she was opening up about being in a bad place, but he didn't want to let her off the hook either.

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-22 01:06 pm UTC (link)
Addy was usually an incredibly defensive person. It was the source of most of her fights with Iestyn - Iestyn saying an absolutely true thing, and Addy losing her shit about it. But there was something different now. Addy had been planning to kill herself, and now she had made the decision to work on herself to save her own life. So instead of getting defensive when Will pointed out what she had done wrong, Addy nodded.

"You're right, both of you. I lied and I put myself in a vulnerable position. That's why I'm telling you now, because I don't want it to happen again. I don't know if I'll ever go back to Uni, honestly. I don't know what I want to do any more. Or even who I am. But I have to figure that out instead of just...wandering. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I lied."

"Well you know looking after Evie is never a hardship," Tuck explained. "I love having her with me. I just wish- I was working. I don't mind at all, she my daughter and of course I'll look after her any time, I just wish I'd known. It wasn't like I was just sitting at home with nothing to do."

"I know," Addy groaned, "I know, I'm so so sorry."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-23 12:15 pm UTC (link)
It was hard to be actively angry with someone who was penitent and miserable. Will always felt a bit like it was kicking someone when they were down. "I'm assuming your brother knows about all this?" he asked with a frown, flicking the pocket knife between his fingers. "And when you say you've been drinking too much, what exactly do you mean by that?"

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-23 12:19 pm UTC (link)
"He does," Addy nodded. "I told him and Henry first. Then we told Da and Rhiannon." Just so they didn't think she was keeping it a secret. "And I mean whenever Evie wasn't with me I was drinking. I just didn't want to feel anything, but I didn't do it when she was with me."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-23 12:29 pm UTC (link)
Will's eyes narrowed slightly. "We never dropped her off to you while you were pissed, did we?" he asked, an edge in his voice. If Addy had ever been drunk and in sole charge of his daughter, there were going to be words. Words, possibly followed by actions that involved insisting on constant supervision until she had proven herself capable of trustworthiness. "You never drank while she was asleep, or in the other room with someone else?"

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-23 12:34 pm UTC (link)
"No," Addy said, shaking her head. "Anything could have happened if I did that." She may have had a little bit during the day, but she was never drunk, no. "I'm too scared of something terrible happening to do that. And I never drove drunk either." Addy hardly drove at all, but she wanted to make it clear.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-24 11:09 am UTC (link)
"Hmm." Will glanced sideways at Tuck. Did they believe her? She'd just admitted to lying, convincingly and consistently, for months. Did they believe that she'd always been completely sober around her baby? She did seem to be owning up to everything, but drinking around a baby kind of was a step too far.

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-24 12:05 pm UTC (link)
Tuck seemed to understand what Will was getting at. But, silently, he held up his own bottle of beer because he was drinking and their daughter was asleep inside. He had beer all the time around Evie, just never more than one.

Still. "Addy, I- I'm so very glad to hear you're going to be taking care of yourself. And if you need anything, we're here," he said, "but it might take us a wee while to fully trust you again. You understand that, right? You lied to us for months about where you were."

Addy looked a little crushed, but she nodded. "I understand," she said quietly, feeling like an utter arsehole.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-24 12:36 pm UTC (link)
Will raised one eyebrow with a slight tip of his head. Point- but they weren't drinking to dull the pain. One beer didn't dull shit. He knew, he'd been there.

"I know where you're at," he said, toning down his voice somewhat from his angry snip of before. He leaned forward, setting his knife aside. "I've done the drinking to forget thing. I betrayed and let down the people I love because of those choices, and I had to work real fucking hard to earn their trust again. It felt like swallowing razor blades, having to admit what a shitty person I'd become. But- I got there. Y'know? If anyone knows anything like what you're feeling right now, it's me." He watched her seriously, but he held some compassion for her. "I am willing to trust you, but you've gotta put the work in first. For Evie's sake."

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-24 12:39 pm UTC (link)
Addy listened while Will spoke and then she got out of her chair so she could move closer to him. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, gratefully, burying her face in his shoulder a little. Yeah, she'd fucked up, but she'd been so depressed she hadn't cared. And yeah, Will had been there too. Of course he had. "Thank you," she whispered to him. She felt so relieved he understood.

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-24 01:16 pm UTC (link)
Will let her hug him, and patted her back soothingly. Whatever was going on in her head, she at least seemed to be at a turning point now. He looked at Tuck over her shoulder as he hugged her back. "S'alright. You'll get there, right? You got people who love you. We're on your side."

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[info]feuillemort
2022-06-25 11:43 am UTC (link)
Tuck gave Will a worried smile, but he was just relieved Addy had opened up to them. "He's right," Tuck echoed. "We love you and we're on your side."

"I have the best boys," Addy sniffed, still sort of clinging to Will. "I'm sorry I brought the tone down, I just- I had to be honest. The sooner the better." When she pulled away, she smiled wearily at Will, her eyes bright with tears.

"I can't believe she's been with us a whole year. She was so small when she was born. So tiny she fit under your hand. So small and fragile and now she's sassy as fuck."

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[info]rouge_rogue
2022-06-29 02:03 am UTC (link)
"Just like her mama," Will replied with a smirk, and gave Addy a nod. She was going to be alright, with a bit of help. Things would be alright. He leaned back in his chair and picked up his whittling again with a cheerful whistle. "She's gonna do great things, you'll see." Addy just had to make sure to stick around long enough to see it.

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