InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Like a nightmare come true."

Aderyn Rhiannon Ceredig (feuillemort) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2022-02-25 22:56:00

Entry tags:

aderyn ceredig, henry claus, iestyn ceredig, saint david

WHO: Addy Ceredig, Iestyn Ceredig, Saint David, Henry Claus
WHEN: Saturday Feb 26th
WHERE: Medical tattoo place
WHAT: Medical tattoos and trauma
WARNINGS: TBA but memories of Lucifer's basement

Addy hardly ever left her room without concealer on. It didn't matter if all she was going to do was schlub around at home, she was in full-face from sunup to sundown. She could count on one hand the amount of times anyone who wasn't Iestyn had seen her scars, and most of those were when she was in the hospital. Or when she had literally just vomited on Henry and then cleaned herself off. Addy hated them. Didn't like to see them in the mirror. Didn't like other people seeing them and either looking at her with pity, or not looking at her at all. The scars were large and ugly and they told a story far more terrible without Addy ever having to say a word.

Today though. Today was her first tattoo session and she was going without makeup. She had had one session where large photos had been taken so colour matching could be done, and she had gone in full face and then she had had to clean it all off in the bathroom and it had felt horrible. So for the entire ride, she huddled in the backseat with Iestyn. Henry and David were in the front seats, doggedly trying to have a cheerful and distracting conversation but Addy kept her hoody pulled up over her head and she clung to her brother's arm.

They pulled to a stop in the car park, and Addy turned to Iestyn, frowning. "Remind me I'll be okay?"

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philosophos
2022-02-26 11:47 am UTC (link)

"That's really not what's happening here, Annwyl," she reassured him. She had said someone would need to be there for him in case it was all too much. She was pretty sure if he was the one with the mouth scars, she would be in the same boat. "I've got Da and my playlist. It's okay."

Henry led Iestyn out into the little waiting room, which was blessedly empty. "Do you need to sit or do you want to go outside?" His poor, sweet Iestyn looked so dreadful.

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piu_fermata
2022-02-26 11:59 am UTC (link)

"Outside," Iestyn croaked, just needing the space around him. He stepped out and let the cool air refresh him and help alleviate the clamminess of his skin. Then, once he'd had a moment, he finished the rest of his water. "Oh god. Henry-" Turning towards his partner, he buried his face into Henry's shoulder, not crying but breathing very deeply and needing his support.

Inside, David smiled at Addy. Privately, he thought maybe she would do better without Iestyn there too, because their private horror fed off each other. She wouldn't feel the need to manage Iestyn's feelings as well as her own without him there. "Are you able to continue?"

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philosophos
2022-02-26 12:04 pm UTC (link)

"Oh, baby, it's okay. I've got you," Henry soothed, wrapping his arms around Iestyn, one hand going to stroke Iestyn's hair. "I've got you, my love. Oh, honey. It's okay. Addy's okay. I know, that had to be so hard to watch."

Addy firmed her jaw when David asked if she could continue. "I want this," she said, shaking but determined. She leaned back down and nodded to Grainne, who smiled warmly at her and started the process up again. Addy snaked her hand into her father's and she signalled for him to turn the music up, just a bit.

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piu_fermata
2022-02-26 12:41 pm UTC (link)

Iestyn slowly let the tension leak out of him, Henry's arms cradling him helping to make the nausea fade a bit. "I thought I could do it," he mumbled. "I just wanted to support her."

David held Addy's hand gently, stroking the back of it soothingly as he pressed play on the music again. Music soothes the savage beast, so they say, and as he hummed along with it, he put his energy into using that to soothe Addy, and let the pain and discomfort fade enough that she could make it through this.

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philosophos
2022-02-27 11:08 am UTC (link)

"You do support her," Henry was quick to say. "It's okay to know you need a break too. She wasn't the only one this happened to," he reminded Iestyn gently. "You didn't do anything wrong. Do you want to go on a walk, or sit out here a while?"

Addy realised she should have just had her dad there and asked him to use his saintyness from the beginning. She could feel whatever good vibes he was sending out flowing into her hand from his, and throughout her body, and it was working. She let out a sigh of relief and just relaxed.

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	piu_fermata 2022-02-28 10:29 am UTC (link)
	"A walk, maybe," Iestyn said, looking back at the door, wanting to be with Addy while at the same time needing to move further away from the trauma. "God, it was almost like- like watching her- all over again- It was worse than I expected." He turned his face away from the building and pressed his hands against his cheeks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

philosophos
2022-02-28 10:36 am UTC (link)

Henry wrapped one arm around Iestyn, and he used it to guide his fiance slowly away from the building so they could take a little walk in the fresh air. He was glad that the air was warming up a little, and he had put at least some of his weight back on so he wasn't freezing.

"That must have been the most terrifying thing," Henry said quietly. "In the basement. Of course seeing the tattoo machine is going to bring back memories. She's safe though, even if she's not having a great time."

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	piu_fermata 2022-02-28 10:59 am UTC (link)
	"I know, I know, it's not rational," Iestyn said, hugging his arms around himself. "It's not the same thing, I know it isn't, I just- it just came up like-" He shook his head to try and remove the memory from his mind, hoping he wouldn't revisit this in his sleep later on. At least he had Henry beside him on this. It did make things easier. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	philosophos 2022-02-28 11:02 am UTC (link)
	Henry pulled Iestyn in close to kiss his head. "She's so brave though. Isn't she?" Maybe if they focused on how brave Addy was for doing this even though it hurt, instead of why it needed to happen in the first place, that would help? "It has to be scary, and she's doing it anyway. She's so brave." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

piu_fermata
2022-02-28 11:55 am UTC (link)

Iestyn nodded. He knew how brave Addy was, he'd always know it, ever since they were kids on the playground. Of the two of them, she was definitely the braver one. Certainly the bolder.

"When we were kids, I remember one time a kid chucked a rock at me and it made me cry, and she just let them Have. It. Took on a boy twice her size and won. She has always defied expectations." He let out a soft "Hah," tiredly amused at the memory.

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philosophos
2022-03-01 09:51 am UTC (link)

The corner of Henry's mouth quirked up when he thought of Addy, facing off against some bully twice her size. But then - that had been what had gotten her mouth sewn shut in the first place, wasn't it? Addy had told Henry she had seen Lucifer just going after Iestyn and she had feared Iestyn breaking and something had snapped. She had screamed at the devil. She had called him names and told him he was nothing but a powerless bully and he had nearly killed her for it.

Ever since that story, Henry never questioned the lengths Addy would go to in order to protect her brother.

"She's a badass," Henry said, impressed. "Pure badass. You are too," Henry said, giving Iestyn a squeeze. "In a quieter, steadier way."

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	piu_fermata 2022-03-01 11:13 am UTC (link)
	Iestyn glanced at Henry, and then after a moment, said with a quiet sigh, "I try." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

philosophos
2022-03-01 11:17 am UTC (link)

"Babe," Henry stopped walking so he could take Iestyn's hands into his own. He sort of felt like this might require looking deeply into each other's eyes. "You were put through the ringer because of your sexuality and you still have the balls to love out loud. To get up on stage most weekends in a dress, singing your heart out. Don't ever think you're not also a badass, just because you needed to step away from a traumatising situation to get some air."

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piu_fermata
2022-03-01 11:44 am UTC (link)

Iestyn looked back at Henry and gave him a faint smile. "Thank you," he said. "You're always... You're you. The best you." He squeezed Henry's hands. "Do you think she would be upset if I wait out here until she's done? She has Da, she's not alone... Just the thought of going back in is... I don't want her to have to think about me being sick when this is her healing process."

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philosophos
2022-03-01 11:48 am UTC (link)

"I don't think Addy could ever truly be upset with you, babe," Henry said, leaning in to kiss Iestyn's forehead. "And I know she would understand you needing to wait out here. You're right, she has your Dad with her. She'll be okay. I can shoot David a text if you want to let him know? And then we can keep walking? They can text us when it's all done and instead we can fuss over her for the next few days?" Addy wasnt going to be able to speak well, and she was going to have to eat soft food. Henry had already offered to make about 8,000 different types of Jello.

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piu_fermata
2022-03-01 12:12 pm UTC (link)

With a nod, Iestyn agreed, but with the caveat that he would do the texting himself. He felt like he should be the one to do it. "It'll be a couple of hours yet. Should we find a cafe?" he suggested as he put his phone away. "I could really go for a nice cup of tea."

Tea and Henry, and the knowledge that Addy was on the way to being able to smile at herself in the mirror again. Silver linings.

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