InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's got to be a fake!"

Lennox Campbell is a man of the people (colludium) wrote in neeps,
@ 2018-01-22 13:39:00

Entry tags:

! journal, lennox campbell

(ooc: posted before the match)

Tornadoes are coming up, and hopefully it'll be a good one to blow off the cobwebs that come from not playing since before Christmas.

Merc, Florrie, Shona, Angus, Jason, Lex, Micah

Merc knows this already, but here goes.

I went to see a private healer this morning. There's been a lot going on in my head of late and I needed to process it with people I'm not emotionally invested in in any way.

To cut a long story short, pending further meetings, she is looking into a formal diagnosis of anxiety and panic disorder. Which, given that I do this for a living, is... unusual. But she said that throwing yourself into what we do can be almost therapeutic in itself.

On a related note, I'll be going to regular meetings with her, more often in times of need. This isn't something easy but I think I'm finally coming to terms with some stuff that's been going on for far too long.

I don't want to be fixed, I just want to be better. There's a reason I've been keeping this ward small, so... yeah. I think that's everything. I hope it shows tgat I'm being proactive in making changes that I need to, here.

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	Flennox lionhearts 2018-01-24 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	If you didn't hit anyone in the face over it, you're doing better than other people I know. And as a person who was hit in the face recently by someone who wasn't dealing with their problems, I'm grateful that you're stepping up. We're concerned because we're your friends. It's a good thing that your friends care about you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Flennox colludium 2018-01-24 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	...wait, really? I know. I'm lucky. I... I actually started seeing someone recently. It's nothing big, and who knows what'll happen in the end, but it made me realise that I don't want to be unhappy anymore. Even if it's just so she doesn't suffer, let alone me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Flennox lionhearts 2018-01-24 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	Really. Nothing serious and it only left a bruise. So surpassing that was a low hurdle but I'm glad you did. That's wonderful, and I wish you both happiness. Happiness is something you deserve on your own. Finding someone to share it with is lovely too, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Flennox colludium 2018-01-24 06:27 pm UTC (link)
	Blimey. That's still pretty rough...I'm sorry. Oh, I dunno. I guess we'll see how things go... and I know that's not a medical thing, but... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Flennox

lionhearts
2018-01-29 02:30 am UTC (link)

Thanks for that--it's worked out that slapping me was enough to get the person to work on things, so there's a silver lining to it.

Caring for my Montrose lads and lasses doesn't just stop at making sure you all eat right and patching you up when a bludger hits you. I want you all to be happy, too. So if you want to talk, my door is open. But no pressure if you don't. I know you're a private man and I wouldn't want to intrude if you weren't ready to talk for whatever reason.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Flennox colludium 2018-01-31 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, I see. Well, at least that's a good thing, even if a low point had to be hit first. I suppose. Thank you. Really. I think it's going to be OK... well, mostly, anyway. I'm not under illusions about sunshine and roses. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Flennox lionhearts 2018-01-31 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	If you need me, just remember you can lean on me for support. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Flennox colludium 2018-02-04 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	I know. But at the moment, I feel pretty satisfied keeping this side of things separate from the Quidditch side of things, though I give you my word that I won't keep anything important from the team. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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