InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I have GREAT eyes!"

Warren Hampden, Deadpool. (mercofthemouth) wrote in musings,
@ 2011-01-17 23:36:00

Entry tags:

deadpool, fozzie

Subject: PAY ATTENTION TO ME.
Someone lopped off one side of me but I'm all right now.

(Post a new comment)

	wokawoka 2011-01-18 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Which side? Obviously not the side you write with. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-18 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	What if I'm other handed? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wokawoka 2011-01-18 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	What if you were cut, top side? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-18 10:17 pm UTC (link)
	Then this would be proof of my overly amazing talent! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wokawoka 2011-01-18 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	That you can write with your toes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-18 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	Sure why not! I'd rework my computer for this but I have no drive. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wokawoka 2011-01-18 11:01 pm UTC (link)
	Instead of having no drive, maybe you just have a virus? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-18 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	Your literalness makes me sad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wokawoka 2011-01-19 12:52 am UTC (link)
	No, my friend, you failed to understand my one-liner. Maybe if I told a joke, I could redeem myself? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-19 10:59 am UTC (link)
	Alright, go ahead. Make me laugh! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wokawoka
2011-01-19 12:11 pm UTC (link)

A secretary goes into her bosses office and says, "Excuse me, may I use your Dictaphone?" The boss replies, "No, use your finger like everyone else."

How about this one? This guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Confused, the bartender asks "Hey, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

"I don't know" the guy says, "but it's driving me nuts!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-19 04:35 pm UTC (link)
	[After a few minutes of laughter] Alright, you've redeemed yourself, stand up comic. Tell me another! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wokawoka
2011-01-19 05:11 pm UTC (link)

Thank you, I've got a million of them. The bad news is, I've got a million of them.

A man is sitting at a bar one night with the latest iPhone. The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy cell."

"Thanks," says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. It has this new app, too. I can ask it any question telepathically, and it'll answer."

"No way," says the girl, in disbelief.

"No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on."

The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his iPhone, then opens them and says, "Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on."

"Well, it's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on."

"Damn," says the guy, slapping his iPhone, "it's an hour fast!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-20 07:54 am UTC (link)
	Not as good, but I'll let it slide. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	moretrashbags 2011-01-19 02:39 am UTC (link)
	Are you part starfish?!? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-19 11:03 am UTC (link)
	I could be. But since I'm not cracking open an urchin, I'll wait until science tells me one way or the other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	moretrashbags 2011-01-19 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	Well. You got half of ya lopped off but seem okay, so...I'm saying either part starfish or part tapeworm. Or earthworm. Or other...regenerative-type worm thing. Either way. AWESOME. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mercofthemouth 2011-01-20 07:56 am UTC (link)
	Is there any regenerating thingys with tentacles? I just want to wiggle around. (Reply to this) (Parent)