| sixteen. |
[17 Aug 2012|12:21am] |
So we're all telling the truth. I'm not quite sure why this is such a big deal. If you don't want to say something, close your damn mouth. Problem solved. But sure. Why not? Ready for some cosmic truth, people? I'll even categorize the experience for you.
Facts of Life:- A group of jellyfish is called a smack. There are legitimately smacks of jellyfish awkwardly bobbing around the ocean. Smacking. Engaging in smackly pursuits.
- Sometimes I'm just really glad to have tits. I mean, it could've gone either way, considering my mythological pedigree. But yeah, feeling very pleased with the gender selection this time around. Immensely fond. My legs are pretty much all 32 Flavors of delicious, let's just state it for the record. Damn things should be insured.
- Other times I sit around and read your filtered messages. Not because I'm overtly interested in the sordid, secret details of your everyday lives, but because I get bored easily and it's more interesting than bad romance novels. And, anyway, my momma tells me that reading harlequin novels gives a woman a skewed idea of interpersonal dynamics and how relationships actually work.
- And while I'm on relationships? My mother apparently sends cookies for relationship milestones. Two months is snickerdoodles. I'm banking on toffee for three.
Things I Don't Understand:- Why we're all consistently surprised every month when some variety of weird shit ends up happening to a percentage of the campus population. Seriously. We should be beyond this by now. Weird shit happens. Deal with it, eat it, stab it, or just blatantly ignore it.
- What's the statute of limitations on being considered godly enough to be reincarnated? Is it based on length of worship? On strength of religious devotion? If so, can I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster hard enough that he'll be reborn?
- Who invented the blowjob? I mean, seriously. Let's just think this over for a minute. I want to know who the hell woke up one morning and was like: You know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to suck a dick. I'm not objecting to the practice in the slightest - but, really. Who was it?
Now you just have to decide if I'm saying true things because I have to, or if I have no such obligations and am playing some sort of 'Truths and a Lie' Game with myself. Ask me shit. Let's see if I answer.
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[17 Aug 2012|01:14am] |
It's slow at the store now. Hasn't been a single customer in an hour, and it's too early to start cleaning. I suppose I could be stocking the cooler, but my co-worker called dibs on that. So I'm manning the front, and I'm bored, and nervous.
Earlier in my shift I had a pregnant woman walk up to my register with a case of beer. I always hate when that happens, because by law, as long as they're of age, we "have" to sell them the booze. Tonight, something came over me. After I asked for her ID, and saw that she was of age, I chewed her out. I asked why she wanted to destroy the baby inside of her, and what the hell had it done to her? I told her that just because she fucked up, or got fucked over, that was no reason to punish her unborn baby.
She started crying, but left the store without the beer.
I don't know. On one hand I feel bad for yelling at her, but on the other hand I don't.
If I get fired from this job for that reason, I won't be surprised at all.
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| capnomancy |
[17 Aug 2012|08:25am] |
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I think, for the foreseeable future, I'm just going to lock myself in my room, avoid my cell phone, my computer, and speaking, and just hide under the bed with Lorcan. Then, maybe, just maybe, I can get through this little whatever this is without humiliating myself further.
I'll just need a few things -- booze, a couple books, some pillows, and possibly a hot guy to keep me company. [...] I'm not kidding. I wish I was, but for some ridiculous reason I can't even be sarcastic.
Roommates, I'll be relying on you for food and news of the outside world. Don't disappoint me~
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| 1❢ |
[17 Aug 2012|09:00am] |
This boy told me yesterday he had come to the library to ask for a book so he could get a chance to talk to me and ask me out.
So I recommended him Joyce's Ulises. Not a personal favorite, but he was open to suggestions, it seems.
I'm starting to think he's not going to read it.
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[17 Aug 2012|09:31am] |
It's refreshing to know who among my peers thinks I'm a spectacularly stuck up bitch and a highly intimidating woman. The girl in question ruined her declaration by adding she found me absolutely hot though. I honestly can't be mad at her.
Unfortunately, I can't have any constructive conversation with the straight male population of the university right now. Pity. I do enjoy a man with brains.
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[17 Aug 2012|12:28pm] |
I've never I don't understand
This terrible, come-mierda of a man came into work today. He was adamant he knew all there was to know about plants, flowers specifically, and thought it was perfectly okay to talk down to me the entire time. I can't really say that I'm an expert. I'm not. I'm not at all, but I'm not an idiot either. I don't like being treated like an idiot. I think he mistook my discomfort for something else because he started rolling his eyes and scoffing at me. Anger is terrible, I don't like feeling it. But then he started to demand someone else help him. Someone who knew more. I tried to be polite, I tried to assure him that I could help. Then he asked me what made me think I could help him.
I told him
I told him that I was a flower.
Why would I tell him that? Why would I That's not even true. Technically.
Actually, I yelled it. I think I lost my temper because I was shouting at him in both English and Spanish. Do you think he could have understood Spanish? He must have. I think he did because I kept all of my worst thoughts to Spanish They were horrible, horrible words I can't believe I
Is this some sort of joke? Why is everyone crying?
I didn't mean to make him cry. Al revés de los cristianos.
[LAURA SCHREIBER.]
Can I Is it okay
Could you take my shift for tomorrow? [...] I'll trade it, pick up any of your's that you'd rather not work.
I'm sorry I I'm to embarrassed to go back tomorrow.
[MAL.]
Are you finding it impossible to lie? I think I might
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[17 Aug 2012|01:32pm] |
[Filtered to Staff]
If I happen to tell any of you I would very much like to get you in my bed, please take it as a compliment and nothing more.
I usually am very much subtle about that sort of thing. Not less direct, mind you, but I enforce professionalism and that's just poor taste. So, compliments.
[Public]
The Gods forbid we are forced to dictate class like this ever again. I would like people to keep signing to my classes.
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| thirteen ♠ |
[17 Aug 2012|04:01pm] |
[ filter; arthurians ]
I never meant to stay in the dark for this long, but this is Sir Lancelot.
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| All of the Lights |
[17 Aug 2012|05:05pm] |
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[filtered away from faculty/staff]
As an RA, I feel almost like it's my job to look out for certain students, usually by offering advice and doing little things like that.
As a waitress, I've been trained to anticipate customer needs (as they relate to their eating experience) and try to make sure they're not getting shitty service.
As someone under the influence of whatever this latest bout of fuckery is, I'm starting to think those two mindsets might end up getting me into trouble. That being said, remind me never to give someone my tips on avoiding a hangover while I'm at work. Seems no matter how nice you are when you try to point out how drinking water between those light beers and popping a B-complex vitamin can help keep you from feeling like death warmed over after a night of drinking, if they're a dumb bitch who whines about not liking water and points out you're just some stupid whore waitress who looks like you came from 'across the border'... well then all bets are off.
All I know is that if you throw a milkshake in my face, I shouldn't be held accountable for going all Stockton. Seriously, girl is lucky I didn't take her to the ghetto university, but I know better than to get my ass fired over morons.
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[17 Aug 2012|05:11pm] |
To whoever left the package outside my dorm: haha good for you, you know how to buy books.
I have no idea what great god of douchebaggery stupidity you were, but go ahead and buy up all of the useless books on you - on me. Yeah, just tell the cashier to put it on my tab. No problem. Consider it a gift. Waste for waste, because I'm sure you'll absolutely enjoy reading all about yourself and your romantic failures. The newspaper wrapping was a nice touch. Yeah, I saw the articles. Very clever.
For future reference, though, you got my pantheon wrong. Good job, dumbass.
[CELTIC PANTHEON]
YOUR PEOPLE SUCKED BALLS
Mostly Chaucer.
Ugh. Sorry.
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| -18- |
[17 Aug 2012|06:25pm] |
I see you all whining about how mean you are, now that you can only tell the truth... My case is pretty much the other way round; I cannot be mean ;; The whole sarcasm-thing seems to be gone, which isn't as bad as I thought, but it belongs to me and my stunning personality! I want it back (even though being nice is cool sometimes. Kinda)
On that note: I don't know how the washing machine works and Minjung is not here. Since I live on my own until he is back, I need to do laundry and other household-stuff. I'm desperate. Help!
[Filter: Pheme]
Thanks for helping me decorate. That was worth sharing the ice cream. Oh, and don't get used to my overly friendly self...I'm not usually like that.
[Filter: Halphas]
I actually wanted to invite you over, because I could use some company, but I am afraid I'll say stupid things I'll regret later.
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| δύο. |
[17 Aug 2012|07:57pm] |
[ filtered from admin ]
Forced honesty, is it?
[ filter; troilus ]
I can't wait to tell you about your virgin cunt of a sister.
[ filter; anteros ]
Missed a welcoming party, probably because you didn't give me one.
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| f o u r t h |
[17 Aug 2012|09:10pm] |
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I've been a member of the Greenpeace mailing list for three years. Why? I shall tell you: I think it's exceedingly important to keep up to date with the issues of the world. No matter what it is you do, every action, big or small, has an impact. The E-news emails keep me updated on important Greenpeace issues that we would typically not hear of in our daily lives.
So I am bringing it to you, with one first baby step: please sign this petition! People from all around the world, and I do mean all around the world, have been signing this petition. People who will never in their lives see the Arctic and the beautiful animals that live there, but are of an understanding that there are dangers that such a spectacular place in this world doesn't deserve.
One vote takes literally twenty seconds. Perhaps less. And every one counts, this I promise you. The goal is 2 million signatures, and as of now, there are 1.4 million signatures. 1.4 million people understand this is a problem that can be averted.
So please sign. Make a difference, even with a baby step. ♥
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