sixteen.
So we're all telling the truth. I'm not quite sure why this is such a big deal. If you don't want to say something, close your damn mouth. Problem solved. But sure. Why not? Ready for some cosmic truth, people? I'll even categorize the experience for you.
Facts of Life:
A group of jellyfish is called a smack. There are legitimately smacks of jellyfish awkwardly bobbing around the ocean. Smacking. Engaging in smackly pursuits.
Sometimes I'm just really glad to have tits. I mean, it could've gone either way, considering my mythological pedigree. But yeah, feeling very pleased with the gender selection this time around. Immensely fond. My legs are pretty much all 32 Flavors of delicious, let's just state it for the record. Damn things should be insured.
Other times I sit around and read your filtered messages. Not because I'm overtly interested in the sordid, secret details of your everyday lives, but because I get bored easily and it's more interesting than bad romance novels. And, anyway, my momma tells me that reading harlequin novels gives a woman a skewed idea of interpersonal dynamics and how relationships actually work.
And while I'm on relationships? My mother apparently sends cookies for relationship milestones. Two months is snickerdoodles. I'm banking on toffee for three.
Things I Don't Understand:
Why we're all consistently surprised every month when some variety of weird shit ends up happening to a percentage of the campus population. Seriously. We should be beyond this by now. Weird shit happens. Deal with it, eat it, stab it, or just blatantly ignore it.
What's the statute of limitations on being considered godly enough to be reincarnated? Is it based on length of worship? On strength of religious devotion? If so, can I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster hard enough that he'll be reborn?
Who invented the blowjob? I mean, seriously. Let's just think this over for a minute. I want to know who the hell woke up one morning and was like: You know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to suck a dick. I'm not objecting to the practice in the slightest - but, really. Who was it?
Now you just have to decide if I'm saying true things because I have to, or if I have no such obligations and am playing some sort of 'Truths and a Lie' Game with myself. Ask me shit. Let's see if I answer.