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[18 Apr 2012|01:35am] |
Here's a common question that's probably been asked already, but go ahead and sate my curiosity anyway.
Say you're stranded on a desert island. Alone. Nothing but the waves and rocks and strange birds flying overhead for company. Hypothetically, what three important items are in your possession? Keep in mind they can be anything, except the tools necessary to, you know, do something useful like create a raft made out of buoyant rocks that conveniently floats you back home.
It's sort of like having a genie grant you three wishes, except under these barely described circumstances, you can't exactly wish your way out of the tight spot.
Think I'd have at least a five gallon tank of drinkable water, an umbrella in case it rained, and an extra pair of underwear. Because hey, if I get to plan ahead, I'm going to be practical about my three items.
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[18 Apr 2012|09:16am] |
[In Tim's dorm room today, he will find a staff member of the Montenegro Law faculty inquiring after him. The former god of healing will be presented with an envelope. Contained within is a letter, printed on beautifully fine paper, eggshell white and emblazoned with the insignia of the Law School. It is addressed personally to Tim, written by Zeus's secretary. (Who is a very corpulent women for her diminutive height, wrinkles pulling endearingly at the corners of her eyes. A woman who is purely professional and no great distraction. Because, for all everyone's complaints about Zeus's carnal proclivities, his arrogant demeanor, or his loud thundering - Zeus is very serious about what he does. And, though all deem it convenient to forget: very, very damn good at it.)]
Office of the Dean of Montenegro Law School
Mr. Timothy Lawrence:
Salutations! Should you require an appointment with Dean Hetzel, please feel welcome to schedule an appointment with me at the following contact numbers:
[INSERT CONTACT DETAILS HERE :D)-/]
Your interest in the Montenegro Law School is greatly appreciated, and we look forward to hearing more from you.
Yours sincerely,
Elizabeth Donnithorne
Secretary
[Undeniably, among the most professional ways Zeus could have handled the matter.
But, more importantly: the most arrogant.]
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[18 Apr 2012|03:46pm] |
I'd like to send a massive thank you to Riley for letting me tag along today when she went to get more awesome shirts!
Holy fucking titty balls! There are some epicly hilarious shirts to be found out there! I would show you all what I got, but I think it'd be funnier if I surprised the world each day with something new. So. Keep an eye out! I've got some awesome tee's I'm going to be sportin' for quite a few days. (BUY ONE GET ONE! ASDLKFLASDOIER!!! I BOUGHT SO MANY. I'm broke now.)
JON! You totally should have come with. Riley and you have the same taste in shirts, she was even wearing one that you totally have!
You missed out, bro.
So. What has the rest of the world been up to? Anyone else feel a ridiculous desire to wreck havoc?
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| twenty-four. |
[18 Apr 2012|04:00pm] |
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[For all the depressive urges Fergus had, every so often there was a good day, a bright spot filtering through the malignant cloud hovering over his head. Today, it was a random call from his mum asking what he wanted for his birthday. She'd have to send it now so it got to the school on time, but she didn't want him to think she'd forgotten.
After he hung up with her, he'd been flipping about on youtube when he found an random pop song that had him up out of his chair and dancing. At first, he thought perhaps he could see if maybe Jazz could help him choreograph a swing routine to it, then he got an idea. This song was clearly about girls who didn't realise how lovely they were, girls like Melody, Maddie, Jazz, Emma, and Adrianne. Thus, a post was made, and hopefully nothing but good could come of it.]
[filter; male students]
I'm seeking men who can sing, know how to dance a little, and most of all - who don't mind potentially making a fool of themselves for a good cause.
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[18 Apr 2012|07:00pm] |
I am sometimes oblivious as to when things are funny or meant as a joke, but I've been listening in on conversations and have written down several brief interludes of humor that I'd like to share. Some of them come from the diner and others from inconspicuously following people in the park.
Girl on cellphone: If you and I were frogs, we'd make beautiful babies.
Male: My wife's always wanted to name our child something exotic, like Linoleum.
Girl with friend: No, don't touch me with your ovaries!
Similarly:
Zack: Get away from me or I will hit you with this cream of wheat.
Server One: I got a dollar for a tip. What can you buy for a dollar?
Server Two: You can go to the dollar store and get some fancy ice cube containers.
Server One: I do like fancy things...
Serious Male: That's going in my butt.
Older Man: I need to get rid of my boobs. I'm going to have to start calling myself Chester.
A guy complimenting his girlfriend's makeup: It looks like you put more effort into it today.
Male customer: When I made breakfast this morning, I dropped two eggs and neither of them broke.
His wife: You're lucky. Every time I drop an egg, it hurts for a week.
People are strange. But marvelously fascinating.
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| [text to morris] |
[18 Apr 2012|09:05pm] |
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Got the hotel room booked for CA. We have to share a bed.
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[18 Apr 2012|09:42pm] |
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Tim.
I have a tea set I no longer want. I promise it's in perfect condition, but I have to get rid of it. If anyone else would like it, it's yours.
I don't care what you do with it.
ETA: Someone was nice enough to pick up the set. Now I'm just wishing it would storm.
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