InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "welp"

🌸 Miracle Country Mods 🌸 (miraclemods) wrote in miraclecountry,
@ 2018-06-03 20:33:00

Current mood:	productive
Entry tags:	! event, ; memory loss event, chise hatori, chloe decker, chloe price, ciel phantomhive, cisco ramon, eliot waugh, harrison 'harry' wells, kady orloff-diaz, lucifer morningstar, quentin coldwater, sakura kinomoto, sebastian michaelis, tulio, william 'penny' adiyodi

all week 🌸 open
[It's been some time since the world's magic has played in this way. But some of the eldest residents will probably notice some of the signs.

It all feels normal at first, as normal as life in Miracle Country can get. But people will start to feel off in some ways. Like something's missing... or more precisely, like they're losing something. Important memories, and the feelings attached to them, they're slipping away, shed in the form of magical feathers that people will lose here and there throughout the day. The way to recover these? Someone else has to pick them up for you.

When they do, they'll be sucked into a dreamlike state, along with the owner of the memory. You'll dive into a dark, empty place, only to watch at a distance whichever memory was lost. Only when it's been shared, will this memory return to where it belongs - and of course, while happy memories can be shared, some of them can be painful to experience again as they're recovered.

Then again, it'd be painful to lose them forever, right? Even the hurtful things in your past make you who you are now. So you might even end up seeking for someone to take a feather for you, to give those important memories back. And if you leave them alone, if you ignore them, maybe someone you don't want taking them will do it instead... the feathers might find their way into the wrong hands - any hands, as long as they can get back to you. They don't want to be separated, afterall.]

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belovedchild
2018-07-15 10:33 pm UTC (link)

Yes, it's-- it's exactly that. A dragon's curse.

[As he's holding it, he'll be able to tell that it's pretty expertly sealed-- if it were unsealed, the arm itself would be larger than Chise entirely, and while it's oversized like this even now, it's sealed and bandaged, but looks like it might burst at any moment.]

Back home... there was a young dragon that needed to be saved. We went to rescue it but-- all she wanted to do was go home and she was full of bitterness, hatred, and madness. Each dragon has pure power within it and champions of old used to drink their blood to get that power-- for me, I drew the fear, pain, and anger into myself and it became like this.

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servingdinner
2018-07-16 04:33 pm UTC (link)

Yes. I saw it,

[he gently confirms, perhaps needlessly. It's good to have an explanation of what it was he witnessed, in any case - Sebastian himself has never dealt with dragons. On that note, it's interesting that an animal like that would be capable of such strong feelings of hatred and despair.

Still holding her hand, he moves his free hand down her arm, taking in the sensation. It isn't the hatred and pain of a human, but channeled through one like this, it's almost enticing.]

A noble action, miss Chise, [he says - regardless of whether her taking on those emotions was voluntary or not - with something that almost sounds like faint amusement.]

Such actions are their own reward, of course. ["I can't imagine it's pleasant having this inside you."]

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	belovedchild 2018-07-16 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	[Shakes her head...] I did it because I could. And because I wanted to. It's proof... Proof that I was able to think of someone other than myself. [...] But then, perhaps it's still a selfish action, if that's what I wanted to prove. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-16 05:57 pm UTC (link)
	[He smiles slightly in answer. It's not the purest example of selfishness, perhaps, but...] Self-delusion, I have found, is one of the most human characteristics there are - more common even than selfishness. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	belovedchild 2018-07-16 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	Is that so? [Hm...] Do you think that's true of me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-16 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	You said it yourself, no? If that is what you wanted to prove, "perhaps it is still a selfish action"? [It's less self-delusional than many humans he's known. Yes, he does think her selfish, and wanting to think more highly of herself than is strictly realistic.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	belovedchild 2018-07-16 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	[She nods a little, not looking offended or anything. Just grateful for the lack of sugar-coating or trying to appease her. It's nice to have that confirmation, in any case.] My whole life I've been selfish. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

servingdinner
2018-07-16 07:35 pm UTC (link)

[He nods, once-- either in agreement because that's how humans are, or simply to show he's listening.]

Your life has been difficult, has it not? [Chise has talked very little of her background, but Sebastian thinks he's gathered that much, at least.]

Selfishness is a useful, often necessary, trait in such situations. [Again, it's not meant as reassurance, exactly. It's true, after all.]

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	belovedchild 2018-07-17 02:02 am UTC (link)
	[It's likely the fact that she hasn't talked a lot about her background that can reveal that it hasn't been an easy life, yes. She doesn't deny it, in any case, merely nodding her head at the question.] It's true. I wouldn't be alive if not for my selfishness. Sometimes, I hated that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

servingdinner
2018-07-17 05:21 pm UTC (link)

[Hmm...]

It comes down to priorities, does it not? If you value your own life above everything else - as most creatures do, when it comes down to it - you are willing to sacrifice any other principle to save yourself. But if there is something you value higher than even your life... well, then there is the risk that you will die for it. Actions rather than words or ideals show one's true nature, no?

[He shrugs lightly.]

To my mind, neither standpoint is superior. If your life is your highest priority, you will live. If you value unselfishness, you might give your life, but there will be satisfaction in that.

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	belovedchild 2018-07-17 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	I guess it's more accurate to say that, for me... it wasn't a matter of living or dying. More, it was a matter of being useful to someone before I did die. That is... I wanted to matter. To someone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-18 03:56 pm UTC (link)
	Ah. To have lived not solely through the force of your selfishness, but of someone else's wish for you to live? A very human ["and therefore selfish"] desire. Have you been of use through your apprenticeship, then? [Presumably... not, if she feels the need to go around taking on dragon curses.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	belovedchild 2018-07-19 05:40 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. [She knows how selfish she is... it doesn't necessarily bother her to think it, at least not in this context perhaps.] I know that... I've been important to him. I become more selfish in that I want more and more... I finally started thinking that I didn't want to die, and now this curse will kill me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-19 08:13 pm UTC (link)
	[And rather than look distressed or compassionate, Sebastian merely smiles.] Exquisite, is it not, that bittersweet pain? Would you wish as ardently to live, knew you not the finity of your existence and what you will be robbed of? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

belovedchild
2018-07-20 06:05 pm UTC (link)

[Probably one of the few people in this place who isn't immediately angry at his response, or even really that disturbed by it. If anything, it feels familiar, like she's speaking to people from back home, or one of the neighbors.]

I'm not sure. I think I felt as much before all this, but now... [Sighs out, shaking her head.] I guess that's the way life will be for me.

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servingdinner
2018-07-20 07:06 pm UTC (link)

[Considering what he knows of Chise so far, their previous conversations, the way this particular conversation's been going... Sebastian felt fairly certain such a reply wouldn't bother her. It's somewhat pleasant, being able to speak more freely and honestly for once. Even so... what a strange child Chise is.]

He allowed it to happen, then, or could not stop it? [He hesitates for a moment about what to call Elias, but...] Your master?

[It feels strange to use that word for someone who looks so much like something from Sebastian's home world. Whatever the bone monstrosity is, however, it can't possibly be a demon - no demon of any competence or self-respect would allow its prey to be so tainted.]

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	belovedchild 2018-07-20 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	[Clearly you and Elias would get along so well, Sebastian...] He couldn't stop it. If he'd been able to... Elias never would have let me do this. [But theirs isn't a strictly master-servant relationship, as Chise gets pretty head-strong about such things.] He tried to reverse it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

servingdinner
2018-07-20 07:22 pm UTC (link)

[He nods a little - "would not have allowed" he understands. Even so, his opinion on Elias quietly drops.* "Would" means very little if one can't enforce it, after all.]

Well... despair and hatred have power. Curses tend to persist, consequently. [That's what's enticing about them, when you're not the one affected.]

[*It should be noted that Ciel once got poisoned by humans, and this loser has not only could not prevent it; he also couldn't save Ciel but had to beg a human for help. So, you know.]

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	belovedchild 2018-07-20 08:04 pm UTC (link)
	Yes... I know what despair and hatred can do. [Beyond just this cursed arm...] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-20 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	[He looks up at her, still smiling, raising his eyebrows slightly in curiosity. Yes?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	belovedchild 2018-07-20 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	[Shakes her head a little.] It isn't an interesting story. [And too brittle and fragile for her to go into too much detail about it.] It's only that... because of the despair and hatred in the world... that's how I originally came to be in Elias' care. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	servingdinner 2018-07-20 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	[He nods, then--] I understand, miss Chise. [He's old and has seen much; he can imagine what she means. The typical human tragedy, huh.] I have pried enough as it is, I'm sure. I apologise if I overstepped. [Sebastian you've been saying creepy stuff you should sooner apologise for...] My condolences for your situation, past and present, all the same. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

belovedchild
2018-07-21 12:36 am UTC (link)

[Shakes her head.]

You don't need to apologize. You didn't overstep-- it was what I was willing to share. Besides, because of you, I was able to recover these memories. [Even if they're painful, they're hers.]

I'm used to people telling me, again and again, that I'm wrong for what I say about the value of my life. Strange as it is, it's refreshing... in a way, to not have to worry about you saying such things. [She can tell you're kind of a bad person, so. lol.]

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servingdinner
2018-07-21 09:43 am UTC (link)

I am pleased to hear I could be of assistance, of course. [And he means it. Sebastian enjoys being useful.]

Those who subscribe to the idea of the inherent value of every life will disagree with this, but... [he shrugs lightly, gently (and finally) giving her back her arm,] personally, I see not the point in arguing whether someone is right or wrong in how precious they deem any one life. You master presumably considers your life too valuable to trade for anyone else's, and I would not consider him more wrong in his opinion than you-- nor more right.

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	belovedchild 2018-07-22 03:41 pm UTC (link)
	[Considers that line of thought, quiet for a long moment as a part of her rebels against the idea that her life could be worthwhile, but then... it isn't that she wants to say that Elias is completely wrong, either. She understands that, to him, it's a worthwhile exchange.] That's one way to look at it, yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)