InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Are you free tonight?"

Aslan 🌿 Aditi (raabta) wrote in marluna,
@ 2022-03-11 14:02:00

Entry tags:

character: aslan ulusoy, player: mikey, type: network

...

[DM: Eli]

I have a question.

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	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	That's fine. I'm not very interested in that. So he always knew that any man could interest him? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	~~THANK GOD~~ Maybe not any man but only men. He had a type. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	So normally, it would be a variety of men and not just one? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Asli

nylonelyboy
2022-03-11 07:37 pm UTC (link)

He had crushes here or there but it wasn't all guys. Just certain ones.

That was Kyo-- me -- though.

If you're asking me this for the reason I think you are -- sexuality is weird. Like Kyo liked guys. Now I actually like both men and women. Although I still have Kyo's tastes in men I think. Ironically, you are more Kyo's taste now. :P

You could be and probably are different. And who knows. Alejandro was all straight until he became reacquainted with Faihan. And maybe he is but just for Faihan it is different.

So fly little Aslan. Love who you want.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 07:40 pm UTC (link)
	So it is possible for it to only be one person who does not fall within your usual attraction. Since you do have an attraction for both...what is the difference between a relationship between a man and a woman and the relationship between two men? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Asli

nylonelyboy
2022-03-11 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Yep. As my mentor says, do what feels right and don't hurt anyone.

Whoa... I am flattered you came to me of all people with these tough questions, but I'm pretty green when it comes to some of this. I had one high school girlfriend who did kind of remind me of Aditi come to think of it. Then my... fling with a guy in high school was more... experimenting I think. Not a relationship.

I'm in one now, but it is very new.

With me the difference was, with a girl it felt more performative. With a guy, more nuanced, more private. But I think the latter is just because the world is less accepting of it.

I don't think there is too much difference really and it is still different. There can be a bit machissimo more so with some men who like men than with women. But that depends, though. No two queer people are alike just like not every relationship is alike.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Asli

raabta
2022-03-11 08:04 pm UTC (link)

I have never felt performative with women, but...I also have never seemed to bring them any joy.

When you are dating a woman, there are many standards. Like how you should romance her, and when it is acceptable to move forward physically, so that it is clear that you are giving her respect. I am not sure if there are those kinds of norms if you are with a man. I would still like to convey respect, but I am not sure if it would seem strange.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Asli

nylonelyboy
2022-03-11 08:13 pm UTC (link)

I hate to break it to you, buck-o, but some of that will still be there.

You should still respect what feels right for him. Some men like a little romance, some may not and just want to do stuff together with you whatever that may be. Some men-- contrary to what the internets and teen beat say -- are not sex machines and may just like cuddling.

It is about figuring what he's into. If he likes crab rangoons, maybe pick up some for him randomly when you stop by to say hi and make out. Unless you are allergic to crab then definitely don't do that.

If he just wants to hang out and be in your presence, then you can do that too.

As long as yourself. And you should make sure he respects you too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:18 pm UTC (link)
	So I should find out if he likes crab rangoon? I am not sure what he likes to eat, except chicken on his pizza. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	Get him chicken pizza. I was using crab rangoon as an example. Find what else he likes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	Is food the equivalent of flowers for men? Is that what the meaning is? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	Does your guy like food? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:33 pm UTC (link)
	He said he likes to cook, so I think he must like food. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Pick a recipe and bring over the ingredients and offer to cook together. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	I do not know how to cook at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	He will probably do the hard stuff but you can cut vegetables. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe that is possible. If not, it will be a funny emergency room story. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	You can also always do the dishes after he cooks. I bet that is a love language for cooks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	That's a good idea. I can do dishes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	So what's his name? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	Felipe. He was not in Elysium. That part may be awkward later. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	Are you sure? He could be and may think he's insane so doesn't share. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:02 pm UTC (link)
	It hasn't come up. He seems like just a normal person, aside from having 20 jobs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	Sounds like mine. Having 20 jobs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	These islands can be an expensive place to live. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	That is the crazy thing. He recently came into money and just works because he wants to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe it's just all he knows how to do now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	He worries about everyone but himself. You know the book the Giving Tree? That's him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	My brother has always been this way, since our parents left us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, that really sucks ~~That's like before and your siblings~~ I think people who feel like they lost control sometimes respond with being overly altruistic. Not that I'm complaining. He's such a great guy. I just don't want him to burn out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	There is, too, a selfishness inherent in selflessness. It is not as admirable as people like to think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	Why do you say that (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:25 pm UTC (link)
	If you consider the past and the present for long enough, you will grasp it. But stop praising him for it. You will only keep the bar of expectation so high that he cannot rest. And when there is a price to be paid for it, it won't be him who actually pays it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	What does that mean? I do not praise him for it. In fact I try to get him to not work as hard and take time for himself. Are you saying you paid for you brother's selflessness? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Asli

raabta
2022-03-11 09:40 pm UTC (link)

Everyone pays for someone who is selfless, Eli. Neither way is good. Being only selfish or only selfless.

You are praising him to me for it now. If that is how you are thinking of it, consider that you may not be aware of how you are treating it in his presence. You must be extra aware if you want to avoid that pitfall.

Think of it this way. Imagine that you could train a dog to never urinate. You tell the dog it is so good, because it never relieves itself. But it was supposed to do that, and so its body cannot function, and it dies. The dog did everything right, did it not? The dog wanted to please you, selflessly, and learned to do something harmful for it. It fulfilled its role, being so perfectly selfless it died... But now who lives with the fact that the dog is gone? Does the dog now suffer because it has left this life? Or does the one who loved it suffer?

Who can really be happy to watch someone they love give away pieces of their happiness? Who can be happy knowing someone they love is going without? And what person can really believe they have no effect on the people around them?

Not considering what you will leave behind is the most selfish part of selflessness.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 09:43 pm UTC (link)
	~~You never seen~~ I know !. I really don't want him to burn himself out. And I remind him of this. I'm really sorry you were left behind. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	Just remember that humans are also animals. What you feed is what will grow. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli nylonelyboy 2022-03-11 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	I will feed him love. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Asli raabta 2022-03-11 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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