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Tweak says, "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

Ianto Jones (readystopwatch) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-08-07 07:00:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, spike

Day 439 (Backdated) | Action | Closed to Spike
[Ianto has barely hung up on his call with Tyki before he's staggering out of the library towards the Blood Shack. He'll have to talk to jack soon as well but right now he just can't take being alone with this and while Jack could be anywhere in the dome he knows exactly where he can find Spike. What's more he's the one who has a past with Tyki, the one who might actually try to talk to him in person and the idea of him being hurt is all he can think about.

The walk to the Blood Shack is a blur, one more thing that's impossible to focus on with his frantic pulse ringing in his ears and the barely controlled panic coursing through his whole body. He's genuinely terrified by this turn of events and he couldn't hide it even if he tried. He's white and his hands are shaking enough to make him struggle with the door. When he's finally inside he doesn't know what to say or do except stagger around the bar and into his arms.]

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readystopwatch
2017-08-09 04:16 pm UTC (link)

It took you some time to decide if it was worth having your soul back. We just never gave him the chance.

[He slides the cigarettes back over to his reach. There's something comforting about it, that smell of smoke and blood and leather coat that is so distinctly Spike. Anyway he's making steady progress on this bottle of whiskey and has already reached the point of being too out of it to really care.]

I wish I could say I hope he's changed or he can start over but I think that would be a lie. I'll never be able to forgive him or trust him so I suppose I don't really care one way or another. It's not satisfying to know he's suffering, but I don't feel any pity for him, either. I don't want anything to do with him at all.

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chipswiththat
2017-08-09 04:45 pm UTC (link)

[ If the smell of blood is comforting, he'll be in for a treat tomorrow night. That's all in the future though and for now Spike's grateful for the gesture, knocking one out against the table and lighting it one-handed, never really letting go of Ianto. ]

I'd say that shows you're handling it pretty well. Not saying you're over it, but maybe ready to move on at least. [ Or he's just burying his emotions, but who is Spike to judge for that? It was horrifying. ] Forget about him. From the sound of it, he seems just about ready to forget about you too.

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readystopwatch
2017-08-09 04:53 pm UTC (link)

I thought I was moving on until today. [He really was. Spike knows first hand he's more or less stopped having nightmares about it. And as odd as it sounds his experiments with bondage he and Jack have been exploring have made him feel more confident, like he really has moved past the fear of being overpowered and helpless. And all it's taken is one little conversation with Tyki to tear all of that down and destroy it. He can feel tears of frustration and misery prickling at his eyes and squeezes them shut to keep any from leaking out.]

I hate that he can forget about me and I can't do the same. I don't want to let him have this power over me. Feeling this way makes me feel like I'm back there that night all over again. I'm just as helpless to get over this as I was to get away and it's so damn frustrating.

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buh html

chipswiththat
2017-08-09 05:06 pm UTC (link)

You're not. [ It may sound like he's about to argue that Ianto isn't helpless and that he'll get over it no problem and there's no reason for him to worry, but we all know Spike doesn't operate that way. ]

You got something you didn't that night — you got me and there's no way in hell Tyki'll get through me. You hear? [ He tightens his grip over Ianto's shoulders. ] And that's something you did. You got me here. Without you- I don't know where I'd be right now.

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readystopwatch
2017-08-09 05:13 pm UTC (link)

[This sort of thing has always been a strength of theirs. Emotional support, talking, just being there even before they were anything more than friends. He leans into that grip, head finding his shoulder.]

I feel that way also. [They both know how much he leaned on him in the days after the attack. He doesn't think he'd be this functional without that support. Back then it felt easier because Spike wasn't someone close to him, and he approached things so differently. Now it's different, but no less important. And those words were something he really needed to hear now..] Thank you. I'm glad we got each other here.

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	chipswiththat 2017-08-09 05:32 pm UTC (link)
	Me too. You have me a reason. [ He presses a kiss on Ianto's head, quite content to leave the topic of Tyki Mikk alone for the night unless Ianto brings it up again. He'll know more tomorrow night, just like he'll know then that this is the last time they'll ever sit together in the Blood Shack. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

So much nostalgia with that thread!

readystopwatch
2017-08-09 05:39 pm UTC (link)

[If they're going to have a last time in the place this moment just now feels like a good one. In the middle of all the pain and fear this, right here, feels perfect and for just this instant he feels reassured and maybe even safe. He was alone last time but he isn't now and that makes it possible to sit here in his arms, and maybe eventually even doze off enough for Spike to carry him home.]

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