InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Sheepie's here."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-03-18 23:13:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), suzaku kururugi, ton phanan

[Day 419] [Mingle / Closed to Defense Force]
[Kitty waits until the team gathers into the Defense Force headquarters. Once upon a time this team was big enough that having a meeting inside would have been uncomfortable. That hasn't been true for awhile. She loudly taps a pen against a desk a few times to get everyone's attention before she starts.]

You were probably hoping I scheduled this surprise meeting so I could deliver a long speech at you, and your hopes are being fulfilled. [A pause as she once again considers not moving forward with this.] I have been thinking about the Defense Force and where it started and how it's changed and the direction it could or maybe even should move in for awhile now. We're a smaller team than we once were and I've been wanting to refocus our efforts more on the investigation side of things, but our numbers don't reflect that. I think a lot of us are here because we do something similar back home. We protect. We fight. We have a team to support us. We wanted that here too, but I'm not sure the needs of this prison support that now. I'm not sure they ever did. I'm not saying we haven't had successes. We have. I'm proud of what we built and what we've accomplished even if it's surprising how completely unpopular a team for saving lives and getting people home is. [She's taken the brunt of that message too. Complaints and criticisms from what they did to stop Spike from attacking people to just not getting everyone home within a few months time against impossible odds.]

I think it's time for a fresh take on this idea. And the thing is... It's not going to be with me. [Just looking out at everyone.] I don't think leading a team is what I should be doing right now. It's meant a lot to me. It's been the only thing that got me through some hard times. But it's not here for that.

I've talked to Jack and he's not going to be moving into the role either, so where this leaves us is kind of up to all of you. And before anyone volunteers I just want to say take some time to think about it. Think about whether you have a direction and a passion for it. Also, it won't be my call to make what happens next, so you'll just have to see if others will follow if you want to lead. Which means, for the moment, there is no Defense Force.

[And with that her speech is over. Time to see what comes next.]

(OOC: Discussion post.)

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

candothat
2017-03-26 10:28 pm UTC (link)

I was reluctant to say anything the first day because there was a specific request to not do that. [Probably not wise to tell your girlfriend that you were withholding information because you were asked to, but nothing else he has said has been particularly wise.] After that... I forgot, mostly. Reid said that he was going to share the responses he received with you, so it seemed unimportant enough to not worry about if I should say things that I shouldn't or not say what I should.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-03-26 10:59 pm UTC (link)

[She accepts that Reid's plea was enough at least initially especially believing Reid was going to share it with her. And Chekov is just polite and kind in ways she isn't, so as naive as that seems to her, it's also one of the things she likes about him.

Forgetting sounds ridiculous, but this place is ridiculous and it's been a long, strange week, just like every week before it really, but things seem even more tightly packed than usual so, maybe she can understand that too.

She's quiet, taking it all in for a second before she steps in closer to him, reaching out not for a hug, but to take his hands in hers at least.]

Finding out everyone has been talking about you behind your back and hiding it from you isn't the greatest feeling.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-03-26 11:26 pm UTC (link)

[In the moments before she moves, his mind isn't projecting the potential outcomes as he might expect it to. It's quiet and he will need to think about what that means at some other point in time.

When she takes his hands, he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and gives hers a brief squeeze.]

I would think not, no. [He'd like to apologize again, but there are only so many sorries one person needs to hear.] I promise to tell you about anything like this in the future... although I hope that nothing else like this will be in the future.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-26 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	I know. [Almost as if responding to that extra unspoken apology. And then she lets his hands go, opting to hug him after all. She doesn't want to be mad at him about this so maybe she can just try...not being mad.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-03-26 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	[The hug surprises him a little but of course he puts his arms around her and returns it. He's glad that she caught the apology even if he didn't say it.] I never want to hurt you or make you feel less than great. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-27 12:05 am UTC (link)
	At least you did tell me. No one else has. ...And it's on Reid anyway. That's weird and creepy of him asking people to keep secrets from us. That's no way to make people feel like we're all in this together and need to support each other. That's just turning people against each other. And I don't want to be against you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-03-27 12:55 am UTC (link)

If this is of any help, it seems that most people disregarded the message, unless they responded after I began to disregard it. Maybe not everyone watched.

[He can't bring himself to agree out loud with her assessment--not because what she's saying isn't true, but because he hopes that Reid's intentions were good and just his methods were questionable. Decent goals, awkward execution. Also? Yes, it's far more fair for Kitty to blame this on Reid than on him, he won't disagree with that.]

I don't want you to be against me, either. You would be a formidable opponent. [The joke definitely falls flat because feelings are happening.] I wish that I could tell you how important you are to me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-27 01:00 am UTC (link)
	[She thinks that's the consequence of that execution even if she's wrong about his intentions. And she doesn't know what to do about Reid. Confront him? Let it go now that the force is disbanded anyway?] Maybe you're right. Maybe people just dismissed it. [She closes her eyes for a moment.] You have. [Love is pretty important.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-03-30 11:13 pm UTC (link)

[Most people ignored Reid's message, Chekov has decided. That's why Kitty didn't already know. (Of course, that doesn't say anything good about how willing inmates are to get involved in things that affect them directly... but he doesn't want to think about it anymore.)]

Not well enough. [There are probably bigger words than love that he doesn't know.] I'm sorry about all of this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-30 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	I know. [She hugs him closer. She feels bad when he apologizes and she's not quite ready to forgive him not saying anything, but she's close.] Maybe we should stay in our own places tonight. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-03-30 11:51 pm UTC (link)

[He would take that apology back if he thought it was making her feel bad instead of reiterating how sincerely sorry he is!]

Okay. [That's fair. It's been a rough day for Kitty what with the disbanding of the Defense Force and finding out that Chekov has (and an unknown number of others have) been withholding information.] However many nights you like... although not too many, I hope. I would miss you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-03-30 11:56 pm UTC (link)

[She doesn't want the messenger to get hurt the worst here, but he's also the one she feels most hurt not hearing it from sooner. Still, she does understand and she knows he'd never intentionally hurt her. She doesn't want to make him feel worse. She's just not ready to make him feel better either. Not to leave him hanging or make it worse, but because she still needs time to deal with it on her own. She doesn't want to say all is forgiven and then leak passive aggressiveness because she wasn't really ready.]

I don't think it'll be long. You can still come to the karaoke bar if you want. I need to talk to Ton about this too though so I'm pretty sure the mood will be awkward at best.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-04-01 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	[It's just a little time apart. Chekov is worried, of course, because he did misstep and ruin Kitty's day, but now there's nothing that she hasn't been told. Processing takes time, and sometimes so does forgiveness.] No thank you to awkwardness. I can be somewhere else tonight... maybe remind myself that you aren't the only thing that I like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-04-01 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	I'll see you tomorrow, okay? [She gives his cheek a soft kiss. A little bit of reassurance. She doesn't want to lose him. She just isn't ready to sleep beside him tonight either.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-04-01 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. [He kisses her forehead in turn and truly does believe that it is.] Tomorrow. [And off he goes to somewhere that is not headquarters!] (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -