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Tweak says, "Arrrg, matey! Meh eyeeeee!"

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-03-18 23:13:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), suzaku kururugi, ton phanan

[Day 419] [Mingle / Closed to Defense Force]
[Kitty waits until the team gathers into the Defense Force headquarters. Once upon a time this team was big enough that having a meeting inside would have been uncomfortable. That hasn't been true for awhile. She loudly taps a pen against a desk a few times to get everyone's attention before she starts.]

You were probably hoping I scheduled this surprise meeting so I could deliver a long speech at you, and your hopes are being fulfilled. [A pause as she once again considers not moving forward with this.] I have been thinking about the Defense Force and where it started and how it's changed and the direction it could or maybe even should move in for awhile now. We're a smaller team than we once were and I've been wanting to refocus our efforts more on the investigation side of things, but our numbers don't reflect that. I think a lot of us are here because we do something similar back home. We protect. We fight. We have a team to support us. We wanted that here too, but I'm not sure the needs of this prison support that now. I'm not sure they ever did. I'm not saying we haven't had successes. We have. I'm proud of what we built and what we've accomplished even if it's surprising how completely unpopular a team for saving lives and getting people home is. [She's taken the brunt of that message too. Complaints and criticisms from what they did to stop Spike from attacking people to just not getting everyone home within a few months time against impossible odds.]

I think it's time for a fresh take on this idea. And the thing is... It's not going to be with me. [Just looking out at everyone.] I don't think leading a team is what I should be doing right now. It's meant a lot to me. It's been the only thing that got me through some hard times. But it's not here for that.

I've talked to Jack and he's not going to be moving into the role either, so where this leaves us is kind of up to all of you. And before anyone volunteers I just want to say take some time to think about it. Think about whether you have a direction and a passion for it. Also, it won't be my call to make what happens next, so you'll just have to see if others will follow if you want to lead. Which means, for the moment, there is no Defense Force.

[And with that her speech is over. Time to see what comes next.]

(OOC: Discussion post.)

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	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-25 10:55 pm UTC (link)
	She walks over looking serious after talking to Chekov and turns her back to those who remain in the room to speak to him. "Apparently a week ago Reid made a broadcast to everyone but you, me, and Ianto asking about what they though of the Defense Force and telling them to keep it a secret from us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-03-26 08:32 am UTC (link)
	His eyebrows are already starting up his forehead when he sees the serious expression on her face, and they rapidly climb the rest of the way when she starts speaking. "He did?" She's already told him about Reid coming to talk to her with his research, of course, but he certainly didn't know about this! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-26 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	"That's what Chekov just told me." Emphasis on the just. She's not feeling great about no one in the dome mentioning it before now, especially someone she often sleeps beside. "He said it sounded unflattering too. And that he asked people to hide it from us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2017-03-27 03:17 am UTC (link)

"Huh." He takes a thoughtful sip of his coffee while he mulls it over.

"I guess that's how he gathered his research for that report he showed you," he allows, because obviously Reid had to have got his information somewhere. "And I guess the secrecy would be so he could get his facts straight before approaching you?"

He's not nearly as bothered about this as she is, mainly because the DF has never been his baby in the way it's been hers. He's surprised at the thoroughness of it - though perhaps he shouldn't be, knowing Reid - but it doesn't feel anywhere near as personal to him.

"It doesn't sound very professional if he was trying to sway people, though, rather than being impartial!"

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	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-27 09:13 am UTC (link)
	"Pavel said he asked for discretion to avoid trouble. I assume that makes us trouble." He also skipped the part where he was deeply in love with Reid and trusted him more than anyone. There's definitely a feeling of betrayal running through this for her. "Doesn't feel professional at all. Feels personal." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-04-10 02:33 pm UTC (link)
	He frowns. "I doubt he actually meant it to be personal, although I won't deny it's probably hard to separate the two in this instance. I mean, you're inextricably entwined with the DF, and we know he has issues with you." Eyebrows lifting again, he asks: "Did Chekov say what kind of response Reid got?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-04-11 08:43 pm UTC (link)

"If it wasn't personal he wouldn't have hidden what he was doing. He would have done it differently. I've been making excuses for him for months. At a certain point I think I just have to accept maybe he's just kind of an asshole sometimes." She definitely has issues with him at the moment.

She shrugs.

"Not the response he wanted I don't think. He came to see me with a summary he seemed disappointed in. Too much apathy I guess. He played it off like people would just bring up the topic to him." Shaking her head because it sounded odd at the time and she still believed him. "Chekov said he was upset about the Defense Force and talking about how controversial it was and how we don't ask for opinions and we aren't serving our original purpose and how he wanted discretion to avoid trouble."

She would love to shove some trouble at him right now. She won't. She doesn't. She stands there trying not to look as mad and hurt as she feels. But there's something reassuring in the anger. She hasn't been angry all this time. Oh, maybe a flare here or there, but for the most part it was fear of losing him completely, self doubt and blame for what made her so wrong that he'd leave her when they'd been so right together before, and loneliness and loss. Anything he did that felt unfair or hurtful she turned in on herself, but not this time. Not with this.

"I don't think Chekov had a chance to listen to the responses because Reid was busy telling him that me being with Chekov is unfair to all us." So tell her again how this wasn't personal.

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