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Suzaku Kururugi ([info]whiteknightmare) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2017-01-24 10:44:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:c.c., kitty pryde (aoa), lelouch vi britannia, suzaku kururugi

Day 412 | Closed action | Open video
Action: closed to Lelouch and C.C.

[ So after that...

Suzaku's wakes up far more gently than usual. It's his usual time, he knows, but something's not right. He's very comfortable, and very warm. Comfortable enough that for a long moment, he doesn't even open his eyes, just makes a small sound of pleasure.

It feels good.

He'll... register more. In a moment. ]


Video: Open (later)

I know Kitty summed things up earlier, but I just wanted to add - is everyone all right? If you need something but are kind of hiding from somebody today, for one reason or another, you can give me a private call and I'll try to help.


(Post a new comment)

closed/action
[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 07:23 am UTC (link)
[ It is, indeed, very warm. Very comfortable. For a long, drowsy moment, it feels right.

Then, Suzaku's voice right in his ear, and Lelouch is abruptly awake.

He jerks upright, and oh gods why isn't he wearing any clothes oh gods he isn't the only one. ]

[ There are probably better responses to the current situation than flinging himself bodily out of bed. Especially since, in the process, he gets tangled up in the sheets. Less 'springing ably out of bed and finding a bathrobe', more yelping and going into a nose dive that would have certainly ended with him landing on his face. ]

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closed/action
[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-24 08:05 am UTC (link)
[ Yes, Lelouch would have fallen on his face if Suzaku hadn't been there. Or had been still fully asleep. Something along those lines. But Suzaku is at least marginally awake, and the absence of half of the warmth by his side gets him to open his eyes and he reacts.

Fast.

As he tends to.

He is out of the bed (where are his night clothes?) and crouching on the floor, his hand holding Lelouch's shoulders, the thinner body slamming against him instead of the floor, with much less damage. Suzaku takes the momentum without much trouble.

But the motion and the contact finally get his mind to wake up fully, and he freezes, still holding Lelouch. (He'll always catch him. That part is not what jars him.) He stares for a moment at the boy in his arms, then slowly straightens his spine a little so he can properly peer over the edge of the bed.

At C.C.

That doesn't make much sense. His helplessness at parsing what is happening shows on his face so clearly, and there is nothing he can do about it. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-01-24 08:17 am UTC (link)
[ The heaviest sleeper here makes a very cranky face when she's now alone and the covers are off and she's cold. She stretches, and then sits up, rubbing her eyes. ]

So noisy, boy. [ Pouty. And now realizing she's not wearing anything. ] Next time you want your shirt back, wake me up first. [ Jeeez. ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 09:02 am UTC (link)
[ There are entirely too many naked people in this room!!!! WHO AUTHORIZED THIS, AND WHERE DOES HE FILE HIS COMPLAINT. ]

[ Lelouch would like this reaction to have been his only one. He really would. Unfortunately, he has just been saved from an ungainly landing on the floor by Suzaku. Is currently being held by Suzaku. Against Suzaku's chest. And have we mentioned the severe case of nudity all parties are currently suffering from?

So, complaints are rather lost in the moment, because he honestly cannot hear himself think over the pounding of his heart, the rushing of his blood. He's really only conscious of how hot his face feels, how warm and firm and smooth Suzaku's chest is, how.......

.......familiar this all feels, as if he's somehow very used to being pressed up against anyone while naked, much less this particular person? Suzaku's scent, unshowered, with a muskier undercurrent than even his months-ago memories of close quarters in Baghdad... smells like home to some primitive part of his brain that can't be bothered with all the hysterics the rest of him is engaging in.

What happened yesterday? He remembers-- ]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-24 10:37 am UTC (link)
[ Look, Suzaku knows he has no excuse. (Other than being naked with two other naked people, being eighteen, having spent the last night sexing those two people, it being morning with its side effects on the male physiology.) No excuse whatsoever. Because the first thought in his mind when C.C. sits up, careless about the covers, is that her breasts are nice.

The scar makes him want to ask--

And then he remembers.

A little. (C.C. with her head leaning on his shoulder, their hands tangled up) (Lelouch asleep on an armchair and Suzaku picking him up and carrying him to bed) (quiet words) (kissing up that scar, and down the scar on Lelouch's chest) (crying into both of them) just flashes. Older Lelouch face. Ache in his joints.

He lets out a long breath, then looks back down at Lelouch. ]

Do you want help sitting up?

[ Let's start with the immediate practical stuff. He's not sure he has the words for questions yet. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-01-24 12:24 pm UTC (link)
[ Honestly, her first thought on seeing Suzaku with Lelouch is: about time. But, then... she doesn't remember how it actually happened. And her skin prickles when she sees where Suzaku's gaze falls on her. Not on her breasts, but on--

A strange set of fuzzy memories of Lelouch's solemn face and Suzaku's tears, how it had taken years of half-clothed intimacy or only in darkness because she hadn't been ready to show anyone. How she'd shown it to Lelouch first, because he knew what a scar like that felt like, even if the circumstances had been different. And he was still her accomplice, after all.

Both men had been older. Both careworn but also infinitely more gentle and happy than she had ever seen them. They had been... in love. With her.

The memory is painful, confusing.

Her expression shifts, subtly closing off. With dignity, she reaches over for a pillow and sets it in her lap. ]

Well. This is something.

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 12:43 pm UTC (link)
[ He is just. Still and silent for a while.

He remembers yesterday, almost like something that really happened to him. The rest is -- more like a dream. The grains of it slip through his fingers, faster the harder he tries to hold onto them.

Tries to push himself upright; a wave of dizziness stops him.

Finally, softly: ]

Yes.

[ A reply to one or both of them. He looks up at Suzaku and sees the smile lines, the streaks of gray, for just an instant; and then can't look at him, can't look at her.

There's a bodily response to worry about, yes, especially like this -- but for once that feels very far away, because... ]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-24 12:57 pm UTC (link)
[ Suzaku nods at C.C.'s words, but instead focuses on straightening up and getting Lelouch under the arms, picking him up carefully. Setting him on his feet, but close enough to the bed that he can sit down on it if he wishes.

Eyes still lowered, he turns towards C.C. Bows. ]

I apologize for my rudeness just now.

Please, both of you, excuse me. I should. You're probably more comfortable without me here.

[ And he turns. He's not dizzy, but his head is spinning, and he needs... something. Not to make it worse, to begin with.

There are no nicks from shaving the day before on his cheeks, he can tell. Lelouch never leaves any--

Oh. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

1/3 - skipping w/ permission ><
[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 10:17 pm UTC (link)
[ ...because they were happy.

He remembers that with as much clarity as anything else, and it stings, especially as Suzaku lifts him easily, deposits him easily, and then tries to-- ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 10:18 pm UTC (link)
[ --tries to-- ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-24 10:19 pm UTC (link)
[ --and you know what? As much as more than a small part of Lelouch wants to slip discreetly away into one of their bathrooms and just live there for the next year, that is not acceptable. ]

Suzaku.

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-25 04:36 am UTC (link)
[ Suzaku freezes.

Then pulls his arms close to his body, carefully not fisting his hands. ]

I just thought you two will find things easier to talk about things without me here.

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[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-01-25 04:48 am UTC (link)
[ She's grateful for Lelouch's intervention; it saved her from saying something she'd probably regret. Suzaku's body language is easier to read than it ever had been before. Politeness covering defensiveness, deference for self-protection's sake.

Rests her chin on the pillow, winding her arms around it like she would her plush. She'd feel better about having it, right now, but it's over in a corner and she's not ready to move yet.

The follow-up suggestion makes her laugh, though. Faint and bitter. ]

As though you hadn't been part of it, too? I remember something quite different.

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-25 08:14 pm UTC (link)
There's no easier. [ Sharply. Fiercely. Maybe desperately. ] Whatever that was -- it was just as [ fumbles, ] strange for all three of us.

[ He glances back at C.C., then to Suzaku again. He doesn't even realize it, because he isn't doing it on purpose -- just years of habit that never actually happened -- but his expression in this moment is open. ]

...Please.

[ Embarrassment mingles with fear -- and need. Don't go. ]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-27 08:04 am UTC (link)
[ What C.C. says is bad enough.

Suzaku stills, and his shoulders knot up, even as his head drops--

And then Lelouch. One word. One word is takes for that tension to snap out of him.

He turns, standing for a moment as though in some sort of punishment, before shaking his head. Too much, he remembers too much, and if they do, too.. then that is simply not going to work. He steps closer. Still awkward and unsure as to what to do, but...

(They both deserve better of him.) ]

I am sorry, C.C. I did not mean to imply that it was only your mess to deal with. Only that you both are actually close and can probably feel better without an... outsider...

[ He trails off, because he knows that's stupid. He's known Lelouch for far longer than C.C. has. He has just...

They have just both squandered that, so hard. It's so easy to stay away, usually. To not regret what was and what will be and what might have been.

Not this morning.

He gets all the way back to the bed, then sits down on the floor beside it, knees drawn up to his chin and arms wrapped around his shins... only half an inch between his shoulder and Lelouch's knee. ]

Twenty years is a long time. At least... longer than either Lelouch or I have lived.

[ Yes, he remembers that important point about C.C. And is not going to push it, least of all right now. ]

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[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-01-30 03:35 pm UTC (link)
[ C.C.'s eyes widen when Suzaku drops a rather blatant allusion to her curse. There's a brief, faintly panicked glance at Lelouch -- but what can he do? He hadn't divulged it, it had been her own doing.

And her chest hurts at the memory of her giving him her most precious secret. She'd loved him, for Lelouch's sake and his own, enough to let him in. It had made both her boys happy.

And all that security is gone. Her eyes sting, and she looks away, up at the ceiling. Lelouch can't fix this for her. And no doubt he has just as much pressing on him without her adding to it. Best to just not feel at all. ]

The only thing that matters is what happens now. [ Blinking quickly, gaze still turned upward. ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-01-30 09:58 pm UTC (link)
[ It's not untrue -- they've literally just somehow experienced more time in the prison, together, than either of them have lived. Some version of himself had woken up having known C.C. and Suzaku longer than anyone else in his life; longer than even Nunnally.

He only has an instant to think about it, though, before C.C.'s reaction jerks him back into the present. The present where -- where she's looking to him for help, for protection, from what this place has done to them.

Lelouch stares back at her helplessly, then closes his eyes. A deep breath. And then he stands up, moving to the closet; quickly retrieving robes for all of them. ]

First things first. Let's... have some semblance of clothing, shall we?

[ Trying not to think about the fact that standing, crossing the room, having his naked back to the two of them -- feels, on some level, entirely normal.

Robe on! Tossing one over his shoulder at Suzaku on the floor, without... looking. Gives him a moment to put it on before turning around. ]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-01 08:00 am UTC (link)
[ Hyperaware as Suzaku tends to be, especially when trying to avoid the inside of his own head (not that it ever works, Suzaku doesn't miss C.C.'s reaction, at least not all of it. He curls in a little more on himself - until the robe is flying at him, and he catches it without thinking, his arm staying outstretched, keeping the fabric away from the floor, unsure what to do with it.

Then he unfolds, unselfconsciously, and drapes the fabric around himself, his face more or less frozen. Not quite shutting down into a litany of 'you did something wrong again you did something wrong again you did something bad again</i>

But...

Not very far from it, either. ]

I am sorry. [ Whispered.

As though that's ever enough. ]

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[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-02-05 05:09 am UTC (link)
[ C.C. wraps her arms more tightly around the pillow and just pretends to not hear anything. But she does watch Lelouch as he crosses the room. Her eyes follow the scar on his upper back, the one the matches the mark on his chest. She had wondered about it, but had had the grace (for once) not to ask. And seeing it now... it doesn't shock her. She's accustomed to it, and feels as though she has been for ages. ]

Always the quick thinker. [ Normally would sound teasing, but her heart is not in it. ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-02-05 09:10 pm UTC (link)
One of us has to be. [ Haha! That's...... no, it's not a good joke. He takes a shivering breath, turning back -- Suzaku's covered, good -- pinking again, at entirely unwelcome thoughts, before he shoves them out of his head and -- pads back across the floor, quiet, to sit on the bed. ]

...I take it -- we all remember the same thing? [ Staring at the far wall; the closet; something beyond it... ] That -- waking... up... like this -- wasn't...

It seemed normal enough?

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-05 10:23 pm UTC (link)
[ More covered than he was moments ago, at any rate. ]

It felt good. And normal.

[ And his tone is plenty indicative enough just what he thinks of himself saying those two qualifiers with an 'and' between them.

Then he sighs, looking at his hands which hang a little between his knees. And he takes a long time before adding, quietly, ]

I know that having lived that time was an illusion caused by this place. Probably. But I don't... think that what I felt was fake. [ Even quieter. ] Not even a little.

[ There. He has said his piece. Now he can listen and pay attention and try to not shatter whatever last traces of sweetness are left for them. ]

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[info]tsuntsuntsun
2017-02-06 12:07 am UTC (link)
[ Maybe it's beneath her to lapse into a stubborn silence. They certainly deserve her participation. But right now, it just... hurts too much. When Lelouch sits on the bed, she has the strongest urge to push out of her huddle and lean on him. Because she remembers doing that.

She stays put, listening, watching, but holding her tongue and keeping her hands to herself. ]

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[info]melioristic
2017-02-06 01:45 am UTC (link)
[ Okay, that gets Suzaku a very startled head-jerk, his thoughts abruptly spinning into overdrive.

He wasn't there yet; still just trying to confirm that they'd all had the same shared hallucination, just in case what the prison had shown him was an aberration, some sort of personalized dream, before he embarrassed himself by trying to ask anything else.

But then Suzaku had gone and said, I don't... think that what I felt was fake, and now his heart is hammering in his throat.

What does that mean? Why would he say a thing like that? Is he trying to say--? No, don't be a fool, of course he isn't, there was a past-tense there. But why would he...? He's Suzaku, sometimes Suzaku just says things, stop reading so much into nine words!

C.C.'s silence beside him doesn't help, only gives his paranoia more room to spiral, and it takes him entirely too long to muster a casual, only-slightly-choked utterance of: ]

No, it... certainly all felt -- real.

[ ...and it's a testament to how deep in his head he is that the other, obvious implication of his words doesn't occur until they're out already. Cinches his eyes shut, ugh. ]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-06 11:34 pm UTC (link)
[ See, this is why Suzaku is not the chess-player, not the strategist. He's very good at seeing the best next move and taking it, but the consequences sometimes...

Well.

The silence stretching before Lelouch speaks up is enough to let him know he went too far. He bows his head in acquiescence. ]

I apologize. It is only very strange to think about it all happening ... [ he hesitates. ] Happening to me.

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Video
[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-01-24 08:35 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I'm hiding from anyone. How are you holding up? [She did run into Lelouch. Things were deeply implied.]

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Video
[info]whiteknightmare
2017-01-25 04:38 am UTC (link)
... thank you. I...

Want to be hiding, honestly, but that is not going to do much.

Was yesterday good to you, at least?

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Video
[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-01-25 08:15 am UTC (link)
[She gives him a sympathetic smile.] Congratulations on the opposite of hiding then.

[Nodding.] It was I think. Remains to be fully seen. [It definitely made some things harder this morning, but it also may have cleared some things up unless it's just over riding what she actually feels.]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-01 10:50 am UTC (link)
Thank you.

[ Flicker of a smile. Oddly enough, there is slightly less fakeness about it than usual. Maybe a little wonder. ]

Twenty years is a long, long time, and plenty can happen, isn't it.

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Video
[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-01 07:53 pm UTC (link)
So many things. Most of it's blurred out unless I was specifically thinking about it yesterday though. I don't exactly feel like I have the weight of an extra twenty years on me today. [Pause.] More than usual though. [Some of her impulses and behaviors have fit more in with yesterday than the day before. There's a lingering affect in a way just from having some of the memories around.]

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-05 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Mm. Yes, same here. Though I remember yesterday well enough.

[ Suzaku considers his words for a moment, then shrugs, a little. ]

Theoretically, if this facility really was designed for the reeducation of, well, us. Do you think something like that would be so everybody can learn A Lesson, or for each of us to draw our own conclusions?

[ What. He can ask, right?

And, also, ]

Have they done this before?

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Video
[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-05 10:44 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I remember yesterday too and pretty much anything I was thinking back on yesterday at least vaguely. [She brushes her hair back with a hand and looks thoughtful.]

Good question. I mean my answer is definitely that I have no idea, but I also usually assume it's more about experimentation than reeducation. That could just be because of how random it feels to be the experimentee though. Maybe we are getting guided down a certain path either individually or together. Which, I guess would be not to commit crimes? [It goes along with their theme, but it doesn't feel right to her, but that doesn't mean it isn't. That could be part of the plan somehow? They could be 50 steps behind here.]

Mm, not exactly this before. They've done something where some people saw their futures though I think those were usually futures from back home. And they've done things where they create false narratives where you think you're related to or dating someone you're not.

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-07 09:40 am UTC (link)
Hmm.

Something to think on, at least.

[ A beat, and his mouth twitches just very slightly. ]

I had a day off from the Defense Force, in the yesterday-future. Who knew those could be eventful?

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[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-08 02:21 pm UTC (link)
[She nods. Thinking felt like all they managed sometimes.]

In my yesterday future we didn't even have a defense force. There was a council for discussing inmate affairs but the wardens were offline and there just wasn't a way to reverse the process to send people back.

There wasn't much in the way of eventful.

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-15 06:03 am UTC (link)
Mmm.

[ Suzaku frowns. ]

How would that work for those of us who have done things in the future? As in, my future is the past for two people here. If I can't go back, how could I have done those things?

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[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-17 01:45 am UTC (link)
Well, I don't think we were seeing an actual future. I think it was just a narrative they created for us. They didn't all match up.

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[info]whiteknightmare
2017-02-21 12:54 pm UTC (link)
No, it probably is not.

But if you liked some parts of it, you can at least try to make those happen, can't you? For... whatever time we have, here.

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[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-22 04:10 am UTC (link)
I...could. [She looks at him thoughtfully.] I mean, those parts tend to involve other people too.

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