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Tweak says, "Lost in my own lil world <3"

Pavel Chekov (candothat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-12-05 21:11:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, jack harkness, jim kirk, john constatine, kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au)

Day 405 [closed action | open action]
[action | closed to Kitty]

[As it happens, waking up three years older than you were when you went to sleep is mildly disorienting. Waking up in bed next to someone who wasn't present in any of those three years compounds the effect. Chekov--newly twenty-four and, as far as he can remember, fresh from yet another near-death experience--sits up with a start. This is definitely not his room at Yorktown Starbase. This is...

MarinaNova. He's in bed with Kitty. He has been here for one-hundred twelve days.

Chekov lowers his head to his hands and groans. There are two different yesterdays in his mind, both equally vivid and real, and it's way too early to deal with that.]

[action | open]

[Chekov, three years older than he was yesterday and considerably more dazed than usual, does a circuit of the dome. Everything has a not-quite-rightness to it that he can't put his finger on and he feels oddly out of place. He isn't, of course. He was here yesterday, and he remembers that yesterday like it was... yesterday, which it was. But he also remembers a yesterday where he was a universe away and waiting for the Enterprise to be rebuilt. In that universe, he was on year three of a five-year mission.

He's looking for Kirk, specifically. It would be easiest to call him up, but Chekov would much rather talk in person.]

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candothat
2016-12-05 10:06 pm UTC (link)

[What he really needs is a few minutes alone to get his mind sorted out, but he doesn't know how to ask for that and he doesn't want to make Kitty feel like he's pushing her away. But this is fine, he can do this. It's not as if he hasn't bounced between universes before.

Chekov pauses to collect himself before lowering his hands. Three years of stressful space adventuring has made a difference; his features are sharper, his forehead is creased from too many expressions of the are-you-kidding-me variety, and (to his dismay) his hairline is receding. Not the most subtle changes.]

Kitty. [This is fine. He can do this. Everything's fine.] Good morning...?

[Awkward, but it's the only thing he could come up with!]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-12-05 10:23 pm UTC (link)

[She freezes in place, eyes widening but otherwise motionless as she takes in those changes. Years have been added and it come across plainly. Her mind spins through what it means. There was something yesterday. The wardens' games almost never extend past one day and when they do they're usually related in some way or have some lead up. But this? She can't be sure until she checks the network, but her guess is that this is isolated. That this is what comes with new memories sometimes. Especially if there have been a lot of them and that... She wasn't ready for that.

Possible this is just a nightmare? It could qualify. She was just starting to trust herself and Pavel together after everything that happened with Reid. The way he disappeared and came back so very different. And he barely looked changed.]

...How long?

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	candothat 2016-12-05 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	[He watches her expression shift. Chekov's nonverbal communication skills aren't spectacular, but he knows enough about Kitty and her catalog of expressions to guess what path her thoughts are taking. He can focus on that, give his own thoughts a break.] Three years. [Maybe this isn't fine.] I'm sorry, Kitty. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2016-12-05 10:40 pm UTC (link)

Why are you sorry? [Her voice gets rough in the middle, dropping out even over the short question. She tries to brace herself. Is he sorry because things have changed? Is he with someone? Are those the first words to their break up? Maybe it's a blessing if it comes that quickly. Things with Reid were so hard and long and drawn out. But she's not ready. She doesn't want to lose him. She just found him.]

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	candothat 2016-12-05 10:44 pm UTC (link)
	For leaving. For changing. [Not that he really left, but he did. He left and now he's not the same. Breaking up with Kitty is the last thing on his mind, he's afraid that she won't want to be with someone different. That fear is clear enough on his face; hiding it is currently beyond his capabilities.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-05 10:52 pm UTC (link)
	[She doesn't know what he's feeling or thinking, but she can see that he's scared. Maybe... Maybe she could try something really daring and not assume the worst. Not let her own fears overwhelm her. Be here for him. She shifts closer, putting her arms around him, hoping it's welcome as she hugs him.] You didn't leave. [She hopes.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-05 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	[That is extremely welcome. He hugs her close and buries his face in the crook of her neck. A lot happened (in one set of memories), but they're still in the same place. He hopes so, anyway.] I feel like I did in some ways. Not so much in other ways. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-05 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	Are you okay? I mean...I know you aren't okay but... What happened? What do you remember? [The hug goes a long way to soothing her. She's not letting go anytime soon. Maybe ever.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-05 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	No, yes, I am. [He will be. He's good at being fine, sometimes it just takes a little while.] I remember here and I remember there. The Enterprise was destroyed, but I'm fine, obviously. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-05 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	Your team? [She adjusts as she holds him tighter.] Your crew? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-05 11:27 pm UTC (link)
	Not all of them were fine. [He gets heavy against her. Although he never, ever talks about it, he has seen a lot of his peers and friends die in seven years and that never gets easier.] Most were evacuated, and then most of them survived Altamid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-05 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Altamid? Is this okay? Can you talk about it or... Just tell me what you need. Whatever it is. [And she will do her best to handle it even if it's space away from her.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-05 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	The planet that we crashed on. I can tell you about it later, and about the other things. I have better stories than that one. [Ones that involve less crashing and people trying to destroy the Federation.] Ah--but it's important to tell you now that I have no girlfriend at home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-05 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	[She squeezes her eyes closed because she can't possibly squeeze him any tighter.] Do you want one here? [She wants to put the words back the moment they're out.] No. Don't... I shouldn't have asked. It's too soon. I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:10 am UTC (link)
	[He smiles even though she can't see it. Her timing is terrible and today is confusing and he has to be amused by it all because he doesn't want to explore the alternative.] I do, though. Unless you would like to take that offer back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-06 12:14 am UTC (link)
	[She shakes her head against him.] No take backs. [She sniffles. Also, did they just decide they were girlfriend and boyfriend in this moment or was that decided when she proposed blue bands or sharing a bed?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:18 am UTC (link)
	[Who knows. Maybe they were working their way up to labels.] Thank you. [Don't ask him what for because he means that in a very general sense.] Are you crying...? [Or is it a cold? Allergy season?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-06 12:22 am UTC (link)
	No, it's raining. [Inside. As it does. Localized to just her cheeks.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:26 am UTC (link)
	Ah, yes, of course. [He rubs circles on her back. This has to be a good kind of crying, right?] Why is it raining on your face? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-06 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Don't comfort me. That's my job. [She sniffles again.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:34 am UTC (link)
	I need to. You said that I could tell you what I need. [What he thinks he needs is to snuggle Kitty and be distracted from himself. This may not align with what he actually needs.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-06 12:39 am UTC (link)
	Got me there. [She draws a deep breath.] I was just scared. [They are tears of relief, letting some of the pressure out. She's still a little scared though.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:48 am UTC (link)
	So was I. [What can he say? Loving someone (and he's using that word internally now) is scary. Nothing is scarier than attachments because other people can leave or change or cause pain in any number of ways, intentional or not.] I still am, a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-12-06 12:51 am UTC (link)
	[He's not wrong. When he admits that she can admit this.] So am I. What are you scared of? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-12-06 12:58 am UTC (link)
	Leaving here, staying here... losing you. [Those are the three most immediately relevant fears, although he has realized in the last couple of years that he's afraid of far more things than he'd ever thought. He was less frightened when he was with Lucy. If fear is a side effect of getting older, then he would like to stop.] And you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)