InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Run, little thing, run!"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-10-03 11:32:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, aigis, angelina burnett, charlotte charles, felix gaeta, hazel levesque, jack harkness, jezebel mephistopheles, kija, kitty pryde (aoa), malcolm reynolds, miranda lotto (au), nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), peter parker (stnas), sarah williams, spencer reid, spike, wade wilson

DAY 396 — Rhyme Mingle

((ooc: EVENT INFO ))

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kitty_has_claws
2016-10-05 02:31 pm UTC (link)

[She watches his hands mostly as they dance across the keys. She recognizes the song and the story that goes with it. She knows it means a lot to him. They got that boy's mother back which is a lot and practically routine in his work. She thinks what meant more was the connection he felt to the boy. There's something sad, but soothing about the melody and she sits, content to listen.

Back home as the losses piled up she grew more and more stoic and unreadable about them, stopping just short of dismissive. She was never unaffected. They all marked her deeply, but she had walls to keep her going. Keep her armored and strong against whatever came. She had to keep going for those who couldn't. For those who still might. And now behind prison walls—a dome—her own protections have crumbled as she let in new people, experiences, and feelings. It was a life she wasn't prepared for, requiring all new coping mechanism and bringing on so many growing pains.

In her entire life she's never "fit" perfectly anywhere. Too smart for her classmates. Too Jewish for her very neighborhood. Too driven for her age. Too mutant for the humans and too human for the mutants. Too damaged for a paradise inside a prison. But she adapts. She always adapts eventually. It's been over a year now and it's undeniable she's changed, maybe not all for the better, but not all for the worse either. She can cry again and while it's not always welcome and still makes her feel weak at times there is something cathartic about it. And she knows now that just because tears come doesn't mean they'll never stop. At the end of the day she'll still move forward for the ones who can't and for herself.

She reaches up to brush away the tear rolling down her cheek as the song comes to another end and her eyes move from his hands to his face.]

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thisiscalm
2016-10-07 03:40 am UTC (link)

[ In some ways he really didn't want the song to end, because then what? Everything that comes after the song ends, metaphorically, and he's no longer sure what that is when it comes to her. Months ago it would've been comfort and encouragement but he's not even sure they're friends right now and he doesn't feel the urge to hug her. He's always been uneasy around physical contact and it's heartbreaking to feel that same unease around her.

He keeps his eyes on the keys and his hands on his lap, acutely aware that she's watching him but there's nothing to say and he can't bring himself to do anything either so after a few moments that feel like a goddamn hour he lifts his hands again, puts them back on the piano keys.

Something different, this time. He's been practicing. It's not the same without a string section to mitigate the angst of the piano but just like there's a story with Sammy's song there's history behind this. Maybe something to grab on to when this too inevitably ends. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-10-10 11:30 pm UTC (link)

[She wants to say something in the moment, but she knows she'll sing it, possibly in a rhyme scheme or with existing lyrics and she just doesn't want that to be what this moment is about. She doesn't know exactly what she wants it to be about. She came because he meant a lot to both of them. She needed to check on Reid. She needed to be with someone who understood. But they aren't what they were and they aren't what she hopes they'll eventually be—real friends.

She still loves the man sitting next to her on the bench, but things are different now. The ease of being with each other is gone. She hopes they'll work their way back to that at least. But that isn't her mission for today.

She pulls paper and pen from her bag as he reaches the end of the song, quietly sketching out, "I couldn't find him."]

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	thisiscalm 2016-10-13 10:58 am UTC (link)
	[ He reads the note without questioning why this is the way she's communicating today — he's been here long enough to guess and either way he's bumped into enough people already to know something is up. ] I know. I talked to Aigis - she scanned for his life signature. He's not here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2016-10-13 11:33 am UTC (link)

[She looks down, obviously upset by this even if she was already mostly sure. She takes a deep breath before she writes again. "I don't want him to be alone." In that prison pod or in memories of being shut away from society for his safety and the safety of others. She understands why it had to be that way and why Reid couldn't be with him then and can't now. But it doesn't make her worry about Nathan any less.]

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thisiscalm
2016-10-17 11:07 am UTC (link)

[ He glances at the note and sighs, fingers finding their way back to the keys. Playing nothing, playing scales, improvising a soft and quiet little melody just to keep himself busy. ]

I know. There's nothing I can do about that from here. [ I, not we, and maybe that tells her everything she needs to know. He's responsible here, not her. He's the one who saved Nathan's life, doomed him to be locked up and prodded and watched. Nathan lived in his apartment. Nathan was the only other one from his world in this entire dome, and has been the only one for a while now.

Everyone leaves and there's nothing he can do about it. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-10-17 11:16 pm UTC (link)

[She nods. That's so often the answer. Nothing can be done from here. They need control over their lives. Their fates. She feels her own swell of responsibility for that. For the mission she hasn't come close to accomplishing. She hasn't stopped the wardens. She hasn't gotten people home.

She reaches up, tucking back strands of longer hair. She wants to hug him. To share this with him. It isn't the "I" that stops her so much as the body language. She doesn't want to push herself somewhere unwanted. She takes to writing again. "How are you doing? Can I do anything?"]

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thisiscalm
2016-10-18 05:22 am UTC (link)

I'm fine. There's nothing to be done.

[ He's repeating himself here but it's true, there's nothing to be done. Months ago they would've grieved this loss together in whatever way they saw fit but Reid doesn't much feel like grieving anymore. If anything he's itching to get to work and the plans he has absolutely does not involve her, because she'd tell him no and he wouldn't be able to ignore that. It's a distraction at best and a hindrance at worst and right now he has so little left to lose that he can't risk either of those things.

Maybe having less friends is a good thing, right now. ]

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	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-18 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	[She doesn't push a hug on him, but she does reach out, resting a hand on his shoulder—supportive. She takes a breath and she's going to try this verbally which means singing comes out.] ♫ I'm sorry it came down to this. There's so much here I'm going to miss. You don't need to know someone long, For the feelings to be strong. ♫ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2016-10-20 05:37 am UTC (link)

[ To his credit, he doesn't tense at her touch. Physical contact has always been dicey with him, with a handful of exceptions, and it takes conscious effort to not flinch when he's emotionally vulnerable and not welcoming touch but somehow he does it. He breathes in, sighs. Her singing takes the edge off all this, for good and bad. ]

I know. Everyone disappears sooner or later. This is better than him trying to kill himself again.

[ And in that single aspect Reid is relieved. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't expecting to walk into a bloodied apartment, one of these days. It was a small but present thought, ever since Nathan arrived. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-10-25 10:11 pm UTC (link)

[She nods slowly and after a few beats lets her hand slip away when he doesn't initiate anything further. She wasn't there when Nathan tried to kill himself before back home. Not like Reid was. The memory isn't burned in. She wasn't afraid of walking into something bloodied. She was usually happy to walk in on someone there to share meals and movies with. To talk to even if he had a knack for asking the hardest questions. It showed he cared. She knows he cared. She did too.

And somewhere in the trail of thoughts the feelings catch up to her and her eyes sting with tears that want to fall. She takes another deep breath, willing them back. She doesn't want to be someone Reid has to take care of right now. And she really doesn't want to be someone who he avoids instead.]

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thisiscalm
2016-11-01 11:06 am UTC (link)

[ That balance between knowing and not knowing just what Nathan is capable of had probably been good back then, but now it makes him feel as if she didn't take it seriously. He knows it's irrational and won't mention it, but it still rubs him the wrong way. They've fallen so far apart, he doubts they'll ever find their way back and what's even worse, he finds himself accepting that.

Worrying his bottom lip, eyes locked on the keys of the piano, he mumbles out a word. ]

Sorry.

[ For everything. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-11-01 12:12 pm UTC (link)

[She takes that apology in terms of Nathan. Everything would be more to process. More to feel. This is easier.

Words would probably be a better response here, but between the near tears and the singing she opts for more writing instead. "It's not your fault." She looks at him to punctuate the point. She believes he did his best for Nathan. It seems pretty clear it went beyond just being a case to him. He had invited the boy into their home back when they still shared one.]

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	thisiscalm 2016-11-03 07:05 am UTC (link)
	[ He glances at the note, pauses to choose his words because there is so much to unpack here where he'd rather just shove it all into a closet and lose the key. ] They're not going to say it. [ The Wardens. This is a really bad excuse for a response but what else is there to say? ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-11-04 12:24 am UTC (link)
	[She parts her lips but thinks better of it, writing, "?" instead.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2016-11-04 03:26 am UTC (link)
	The Wardens. They're not going to apologize. Someone should. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-11-06 12:33 am UTC (link)
	[She nods before taking to writing again. "In that case, I'm sorry too." She gives him a chance to read it before continuing. "I'm not much of a talker tonight, but I could be a good listener if you wanted."] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2016-11-06 07:22 am UTC (link)
	[ He reads the note, expression not really revealing much of anything what he's thinking. ] Thanks, but I don't really feel the need to talk. [ Not much to say. He's always played it close to the chest, even with people he loves and trusts. She's not even inner circle anymore. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2016-11-06 11:54 am UTC (link)

[She is thiiiis close to a musical number when she realizes even "okay" isn't safe so she writes it instead. "I'll let you get back to your music. You know where I am if you need anything." She figures he probably needs some of that time he's always wanting that she was bad at providing, and she needs more than this for herself. Maybe Chekov is still up. She could use that hug. She is glad she found Reid though. Whatever else has passed between them she still loves him. Still cares about how he's doing.]

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