InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nimins, Belly."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-08-16 21:54:00

Entry tags:

jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), lelouch vi britannia, nathan harris, nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), spencer reid, ton phanan

Day 389 : Video/Action : Anniversary
[Kitty appears on the video with bruises from a failed strangling fading on her neck. Things got rough a couple of days ago.]

So, it's Day 389 which also means it's been a year since I got here. And since the only other one who made that length of time is gone now, I guess I'm the reigning champ of sticking around. Celebrate or mourn it with me at Lyrical I guess. Funny hats are a plus. [She doesn't really know how to feel about it, but she figures it will be better to be not alone.]

Everyone's invited. [That was for Reid. Just in case he forgot, but if newbies want to party too then she doesn't really mind. She'll be set up on a small, comfy couch nursing a drink and listening to the music she requested from the music station. She isn't actually wearing a funny hat...yet?]

[Private to Chekov]

Hey.

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	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-20 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	[It will be interesting to explain to others.] What are you talking about? This is totally normal. The normalest. [So normal she makes up words for it.] Better. I mean it only really hurts if you poke it and so I have to keep poking it to make sure it still hurts. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action;

candothat
2016-08-20 10:56 pm UTC (link)

Because this is your anniversary, I will pretend that I believe you. [He finishes his name off with a flourish, tugs her collar back into place, and removes himself from her personal space. Mostly. Depends on how large her personal space is since he's still right next to her.]

Yes, of course, that makes sense. [It does not.] You aren't allowed to poke yourself until I leave.

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	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-20 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	You are all heart. [He doesn't feel too close. Too invasive. So he must be just right.] Oh, so I can do it as long as you don't see me? What's that all about? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-20 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	I know. What you do without me is your business. I wouldn't threaten your independence. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-20 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	No? That's probably good. ...But it could also use a little threatening sometimes. [All that independence can be lonely.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-21 12:40 am UTC (link)
	Kitty, what are you asking me to do? [He sounds like he's amused, but really, what is she asking him to do?] I could follow you and scold you every time you start to do something unwise, although that would leave no time for anything else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action;

kitty_has_claws
2016-08-21 12:52 am UTC (link)

I am sure I'm not asking for that. [But she doesn't know what she's asking for. Maybe she's subtly saying that they should probably have a talk about what happened at the pleasure prison but she doesn't know how to get it started or if it's actually a good idea or not since she was herself, but she also wasn't herself if that makes any sense.]

I think I just meant that I'm glad you're here.

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action;

candothat
2016-08-22 11:19 pm UTC (link)

I'm glad to be here with you. [It comes out quieter and more sincere than he had intended. He's also thinking about reaching for her hand which was not intended at all.]

Kitty? [Okay, one of them needs to say something. Here he goes. Really. Any moment now.] On a scale of one to five, with five being the most objectionable, what do you think of the idea of me kissing you when our minds are in no way altered?

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	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-22 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	[She hears the way his voice changes and she knows something is coming. Those butterflies are back. She's going to start charging them rent. They bring a flush to her cheeks too. Tricky little things. Maybe they are also the reason she leans in toward him—curious, uncertain, gentle—and kisses him.] I'm terrible at math. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-23 01:25 am UTC (link)
	[That wasn't expected. His breath catches in his throat as she momentarily makes him forget to breathe.] I think your answer was two. One, maybe. [Not an objection, anyway, so he presses his lips to hers, soft but sure. Still careful just in case this is more delicate than it seems.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-23 09:18 am UTC (link)
	I don't think you're very good at math either. [Careful is smart. She isn't sure what she's doing here or if it's a terrible idea or not. It feels good so it must be bad, right?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action;

candothat
2016-08-24 12:01 am UTC (link)

[Chekov believes that, as a rule, things that feel good are good. Crazy, right? But there's more to this than that and he draws back just far enough to indicate that he would like to talk, not kiss (which isn't exactly true).]

I don't want you to think about this later and regret it. [His hands find hers and he gives them a little squeeze.] I do not want you to regret anything about me.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-08-24 12:14 am UTC (link)

[How do you go through life like that? Madness!]

I don't want that either. It seems like it would be really hard to ever regret you. [She smiles at him. Hopeful.] I've also never been very good at this I guess. [It always seemed great in the beginning, but then ended in epic levels of disaster with Piotr, Tyki, and Reid. It's getting better each time at least? Of course when start at "and then he murdered me" it's easy to keep raising that bar.] I don't want you to regret it either.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-24 12:59 am UTC (link)
	Fortunately for you, I rarely regret anything. [He smiles back, but he is concerned. In spite of Kitty's words, he's under the impression that she has regretted a number of things that involved him.] What do I do to make this unregrettable? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-24 01:07 am UTC (link)
	[Somehow she even believes him.] Can I be honest with you even if it's the scary kind of honest? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-24 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	[As she should! Is this the face of someone who lies ~~about things that aren't Russia's contributions to humanity~~?] Especially if it's the scary kind of honest. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action;

kitty_has_claws
2016-08-24 07:39 pm UTC (link)

Then, first of all you should know that you're consistently wonderful and have nothing to worry about. Just be yourself.

And second of all... I, um, [it's not that it's hard to say so much as it's hard to gather her thoughts and put them in some kind of sensible order.] I don't really know how I'm feeling. Or I feel a lot of things and I don't always know what they mean or how to make sense of them. And I have trouble following my instincts because they were programmed in such a different place, you know? I have trouble with trusting myself because I've trusted people I should have. [Meeting his eyes because she doesn't want him to take that the wrong way.] I know I can trust you. I do.

It's just...confusing in here? [Tapping her temple.] I'm not sure what I want. And I don't want to get hurt again or hurt someone else. But it's not like it comes with guarantees either.

I like being with you. [And she likes kissing him, but she's not sure if that's the same as "we should date" anymore. Would it be because she's lonely or because it's him? Is it still okay if the answer is "both"?]

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action;

candothat
2016-08-24 10:33 pm UTC (link)

[That is a lot of scary honesty, but none of it is shocking (although Chekov did underestimate the depths of Kitty's uncertainty). None of it is easy to approach, either.]

I like being with you also, so I think that the only sensible thing to do is to continue to be together. [Now if only what that means was as clear! He looks down at their hands.] That is what I want. I want you to keep trusting me and talking to me, and I want you to tell me what you want when you know what that is. Giving a name to the way that we're together is not important to me.

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	action; she trusted people she shouldn't have, not should kitty_has_claws 2016-08-24 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	[She relaxes visibly and leans in against him.] I can do that. You'll tell me if anything changes for you too? [If she's taking too long maybe.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action; oddly enough, that is the way that my brain read it

candothat
2016-08-24 11:07 pm UTC (link)

[Yes, good. He definitely wants to be with her in a her-relaxing-and-leaning-on-him way.]

Nothing will change. [Maybe Kitty doesn't have any certainty because he took it all.] I have been reluctant to be too together with anyone since leaving the other prison, when Lucy and I chose to go to our own homes. It was a decision that we made mutually and I don't regret that, but... [But he isn't sure how to put what bothered him about it into words.] I would not want to hurt someone by choosing my home over staying with them.

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	action; Probably because what I wrote made no sense! kitty_has_claws 2016-08-24 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	And you know I wouldn't choose my home? I thought you were just into me for the good looks and angst. [She gives his hand a squeeze, unsure how much Lucy meant to him. He hasn't really talked about her before.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; not oddly at all, then! candothat 2016-08-24 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	The good looks and angst are your most attractive features. [Joking! Everyone knows that Kitty's brain is the hottest.] No, knowing that I have somewhere to return to when you don't would mean that it would hurt you more. That hasn't helped me want to be less together with you, and I should be sorry for that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-24 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Don't be sorry for that. [She lifts a hand, just a little tentatively, and then gently brushes his cheek before letting her fingers slide back into his hair.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-08-24 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not, I only think I should be. [That gesture makes him smile in spite of his disappointment with his lack of sorriness.] Do you trust that I would do everything I can to avoid hurting you, Kitty? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-08-25 12:19 am UTC (link)
	I do. [But she trusted the same of Piotr and Reid. Circumstance can get to you as much as choice.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)