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Tweak says, "I do love knitting patterns."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-05-13 21:52:00

Entry tags:

jack harkness, james howlett/logan, kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au), spike, ton phanan

Day 375 — Open Action/Private Video

[So much happened yesterday, but they were only dreams. Only dreams that she still remembers almost as vividly as memories even hours after waking up. Only dreams that everyone who shared them will also likely remember. Only dreams where she told at least three different men she loved them and none of them were Reid. Only dreams that are making her feel small and confused and violated today.

She doesn't blame anyone who made an appearance. She's trying not to blame herself, but that's easier said than done. No, this is on the warden's and the way they play with their minds and emotions. Which, that's all they are right now, isn't it? Their bodies are locked away in tanks and their minds are a playground for their robotic overlords. She's angry, but the anger isn't on the surface yet. There's too much guilt and worry and hurt...and longing on top of it.

Of course she dreamed about being with people. About openly saying she's in love. It's what she's been wanting to get back to with Reid. It's simple, right? Why doesn't it feel simple right now? Probably because she's locked herself up in her room with no one to talk to about any of this. She's either slept with all her friends or their significant others. And then there's Reid. She wants to see him. Wants him to hold her and tell her it's all okay, but she's afraid she'll hear, "I just can't do this." That doesn't leave a lot of people to lean on.

Not terribly long ago her reaction to this might have been doing something brash and impulsive. Maybe even reckless and self-destructive. She doesn't want that now. But she's not sure what she wants in place of it other than not feeling like this anymore.]

[Private | Logan]
You wanted to talk? I want to drink. Maybe we combine those.

[Action | Open]
[She finally makes her way out of the apartment, taking a long route to the Defense Force headquarters if only to avoid passing too closely to other apartments and popular sites. Who would be in the cemetery, right? When she gets to her office she gathers some things up to work on, not interested in staying long.]

(OOC: If your character would make a private call to her following the dreams please feel free to do that here too!)

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	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-03 12:57 pm UTC (link)
	I would be worried you're not getting enough sleep now [worry she should save for herself.] but after what happened I think being awake for awhile might be better anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-03 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, I think that I could happily avoid sleep for several days. ...Not that I will, since I would rather not have you worry about my sleeping habits. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 01:09 am UTC (link)
	I guess that means I shouldn't avoid it for your sake too, right? [Doing the healthy thing for someone else is easier.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 01:22 am UTC (link)
	Don't, please. [His tone stays light, but there is a shadow of concern.] Sleeping should be safe for a month, at least. The wardens would become bored if they played the same tricks too often. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 01:26 am UTC (link)
	I know. I just haven't been very good at it for awhile. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 01:39 am UTC (link)
	Why has it been difficult? [He thinks he remembers her saying that she doesn't sleep that well alone, but maybe it's something else?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 01:41 am UTC (link)
	[Awkward.] It's just been harder since the split. [Not meeting his eyes. Is it strange to feel guilty talking about another man around Chekov when the other man is her... Is the person she's seeing.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 01:52 am UTC (link)
	Ah. [That... is not something he can help with.] You and Reid haven't...? [Um.] I thought that you were together again, or nearly so. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 01:55 am UTC (link)
	We've been taking it slow. [Sooooooo slow. Or possibly just normal slow. She's always moved at a faster pace. And that hasn't exactly turned out well, but now this isn't exactly awesome either.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 02:02 am UTC (link)
	[He nods and tries not to broadcast all of the awkwardness he's feeling. Supportive! That's what he needs to be!] That... can be good? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action;

kitty_has_claws
2016-06-05 02:06 am UTC (link)

It's good if it's what he needs. [It doesn't feel like something she needs or wants but so little of it has since he disappeared. But she also knows she's in a better place in general, but it's still strained with him like she's on eggshells and she doesn't know if it's honestly that fragile or if she's just overly sensitive to it now.

But in this moment any relationship would be strained by someone having shared dream sex and exchanging "I love yous" with three different men.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 02:15 am UTC (link)
	Not so good if it makes you unhappy. [Chekov still respects Reid—still likes him, even—but it seems like Kitty is giving far more than he is and that isn't right. Except he can't sound like he wants them to not be a thing, because he does! (Does he? Yes, Kitty wants it, so yes.)] Ah... but you're very patient, and here we have time to spend on going slowly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 04:42 pm UTC (link)
	Pavel... [She takes a breath.] I don't think patient is a word anyone but maybe a doctor has ever used to describe me. [She manages a smile. She's trying.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	[He'll just pretend to ignore the way she says him name right there.] You can be patient with the things that matter, but yes, you make a good point. In most situations, "patient" would not be one of the first words that I would use to describe you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 06:15 pm UTC (link)
	[Probably for the best.] You've been paying attention. [She smiles at him.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	I do try to. [He pats her shoulder because that feels like a safe friend thing to do. It also feels kind of awkward, but.] Everything will be fine, Kitty. It only takes time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	Good. The only thing I've never believed in. Easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-05 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	I can believe it twice as much to compensate and you can be impressed when I'm proven right. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-05 10:28 pm UTC (link)
	[She smiles at him.] Thanks. You're a good guy, Chekov. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-06 12:59 am UTC (link)
	You make it easy to be that way. [Seriously, the temptation to be a jerk sometimes is great.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; kitty_has_claws 2016-06-06 02:02 am UTC (link)
	[She reaches out and finds his hand to give it a squeeze. I should probably get some work done. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action; candothat 2016-06-06 02:27 am UTC (link)
	Yes, good idea. We aren't earning our exorbitant salaries by talking. [He returns the squeeze and lets her go so he can return to his own busywork. He feels good enough, though, and sure in his belief that everything will work out now that he and Kitty have cleared the air.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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