InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "What is this a missile launch?"

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-05-13 21:52:00

Entry tags:

jack harkness, james howlett/logan, kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au), spike, ton phanan

Day 375 — Open Action/Private Video

[So much happened yesterday, but they were only dreams. Only dreams that she still remembers almost as vividly as memories even hours after waking up. Only dreams that everyone who shared them will also likely remember. Only dreams where she told at least three different men she loved them and none of them were Reid. Only dreams that are making her feel small and confused and violated today.

She doesn't blame anyone who made an appearance. She's trying not to blame herself, but that's easier said than done. No, this is on the warden's and the way they play with their minds and emotions. Which, that's all they are right now, isn't it? Their bodies are locked away in tanks and their minds are a playground for their robotic overlords. She's angry, but the anger isn't on the surface yet. There's too much guilt and worry and hurt...and longing on top of it.

Of course she dreamed about being with people. About openly saying she's in love. It's what she's been wanting to get back to with Reid. It's simple, right? Why doesn't it feel simple right now? Probably because she's locked herself up in her room with no one to talk to about any of this. She's either slept with all her friends or their significant others. And then there's Reid. She wants to see him. Wants him to hold her and tell her it's all okay, but she's afraid she'll hear, "I just can't do this." That doesn't leave a lot of people to lean on.

Not terribly long ago her reaction to this might have been doing something brash and impulsive. Maybe even reckless and self-destructive. She doesn't want that now. But she's not sure what she wants in place of it other than not feeling like this anymore.]

[Private | Logan]
You wanted to talk? I want to drink. Maybe we combine those.

[Action | Open]
[She finally makes her way out of the apartment, taking a long route to the Defense Force headquarters if only to avoid passing too closely to other apartments and popular sites. Who would be in the cemetery, right? When she gets to her office she gathers some things up to work on, not interested in staying long.]

(OOC: If your character would make a private call to her following the dreams please feel free to do that here too!)

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	PRIVATE VIDEO kitty_has_claws 2016-05-27 08:39 pm UTC (link)
	[She laughs because what's left to do but laugh unless it's cry and she really doesn't want to cry.] Want to run away together? I bet no one would find us on the floating island for awhile. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

PRIVATE VIDEO

foreverjack
2016-06-07 07:17 am UTC (link)

[He laughs too, and it's as mirthless as hers.]

Wouldn't work, I'm afraid. Sensors and wristbands and all that. [Lifting his blue wristband to emphasise the point, even though he is tempted, at least for a little while. The thing is, it would only be temporary. He wants Kitty, but he wants Ianto and Spike too. And Ianto, at least, he wants more. And here, he has to make the choice.]

I'm sorry, Kitty. In another world, another place, you know I'd be there like a shot.

[The anguish and longing in his eyes show just how much he means it. And it's probably a good thing they're doing this by video, because otherwise he'd have his hands on her shoulders in an instinctive attempt to comfort that would probably backfire by bringing them far too close together to avoid instinctively moving in even closer...]

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	PRIVATE VIDEO kitty_has_claws 2016-06-07 11:55 am UTC (link)
	[She nods. It wasn't a sincere offer. She doesn't want him leaving Ianto and she doesn't want to leave Reid (sob)] I guess we'll always have our dreams. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

PRIVATE VIDEO

foreverjack
2016-06-07 08:33 pm UTC (link)

[He nods.] They can't take those away from us.

[Well, actually, they probably can, but he's trying to be comforting here.

In another time, he would have offered to share some of his 'dreams' with her, perhaps engage in phone sex or record her videos of himself 'dreaming' of her, to get around the AIs' stupid sex rules. But the rules aren't the only thing keeping him faithful any more and he gets more than he ever used to why it would be bad to encourage Kitty to do that to Reid too.

So he just looks at her helplessly.]

I should go.

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	PRIVATE VIDEO kitty_has_claws 2016-06-07 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. ...Jack? It'll be okay. [She doesn't even know if she believes it, but she wants to because losing him—having to stay apart completely—is so much worse than not having him.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	PRIVATE VIDEO foreverjack 2016-06-09 10:35 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. [He's not sure how much he really believes that, but he does know he's going to do everything he can to make sure this doesn't ruin things between them.] I'll see you soon, okay? Don't worry, I can still manage to be your DF Captain and your friend. Call me if you need me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	PRIVATE VIDEO kitty_has_claws 2016-06-09 03:56 pm UTC (link)
	You better. Those are non-negotiable. ["Manage" wow.] I will. [But there won't be a call at least not for awhile.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: PRIVATE VIDEO foreverjack 2016-06-10 08:06 am UTC (link)
	[He didn't mean it like that. Or perhaps he did. Things have never been exactly simple between them but they're even further from it now. Still he drags up a smile.] Absolutely. [A tip of his finger against his forehead in a smaller imitation of his usual smiling salute.] Catch you later, Kitty. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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