InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "you've got mail"

Euphemia li Britannia (friendly_fire) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-07-13 10:18:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, euphemia li britannia, kanji tatsumi, nathan harris, tieria erde

Day 332 [Video/Closed][Action/Open]
[It takes a few minutes after waking to determine whether her most recent memories are from an especially vivid dream or something that really happened. It didn't seem like it should be real, but it certainly felt that way.]

[Video closed to Nathan]
[It isn't long before she's making a hurried call to the boy she never meant to hurt.]

Nathan? Nathan, are you there? I... I don't know what happened. [Voice wavering as she waits for his response. Hopes for it.]

[Video closed to Kanji]
[Once the feed is in place she finds herself at a loss for words.]

...Hi. [Do you remember it too? Are you okay? Are we okay?]

[Action Open]
[She feels like she's in a little bit of a daze after yesterday, but there are still things she should take care of for the school and their refrigerator and cupboards could use a little extra food, so she's out to work on errands. Part of her wants to look away when she sees other people, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but she also worries others feel the way she does and might need someone to talk to. She also can't help but feel something of a loss too. Yesterday, she had so much family and she was declaring her love and everything felt...like more than she probably deserved.]

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	video; closed questionofwhen 2015-07-14 04:11 am UTC (link)
	Yeah... I've been happy, too. [If always afraid that something terrible was just around the corner. Between the two of them, disaster is almost inevitable. That's not enough to make him stop wanting her.] Is it worth it? [He doesn't elaborate. Maybe she'll know what he means.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed friendly_fire 2015-07-14 04:12 am UTC (link)
	[Softly.] It is to me. [She's afraid she hurt him too badly for him to want to go on with this. She's practically holding her breath waiting to see what he has to say.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed questionofwhen 2015-07-14 04:32 am UTC (link)
	[That's enough. He answers slowly, like he's not sure this is the right choice. Maybe it's not.] Okay. [More quietly.] I think I'm more afraid of losing you than hurting you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed friendly_fire 2015-07-14 05:01 am UTC (link)
	[That should probably worry her more than elate her.] Does that mean you'll still see me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed questionofwhen 2015-07-15 01:35 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, of course. [He's already forgetting his reservations about being with her. She makes a compelling argument (for a thing that he already wanted)!] Of course. I never wanted to not see you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed friendly_fire 2015-07-15 07:57 pm UTC (link)
	Can I see you now? I mean in person. [She feels this should be sealed with a hug or kiss or something.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed questionofwhen 2015-07-16 02:23 am UTC (link)
	I... [think that's a terrible idea because yesterday was bad on so many levels. At the same time, he wants some kind of proof that it's okay, they're okay, and she's still with him.] ...Where? Now's good for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed friendly_fire 2015-07-16 02:48 pm UTC (link)
	[Hugging him right now feels very important.] A garden? Whichever one you're closest to. Just tell me and I'll find you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed questionofwhen 2015-07-16 07:02 pm UTC (link)
	I'm by Quatro Park, if that's close enough. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	video; closed friendly_fire 2015-07-17 12:16 am UTC (link)
	Of course. I'll be there soon. [Just don't leave before she gets to you.] Don't worry. [That she won't come or that she wants anyone else. Just...no worrying as she ends the feed!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 02:50 am UTC (link)
	[Spoiler: telling him not to worry was kind of worrisome. It's a good thing he used up all of his really exciting feelings yesterday. He'll be waiting just outside the park, hands in his pockets, eyes on the ground, and a little damp from the ongoing drizzle.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action friendly_fire 2015-07-17 03:19 am UTC (link)
	[She hurries to the park and spots him right away. She should maybe be more cautious or give him more time to adjust but she does the thing she's wanted to do most and throws her arms around him in a hug.] I'm so sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 04:21 am UTC (link)
	[He stiffens, then slowly relaxes into the embrace, stooping slightly to rest his head on her shoulder.] I'm not mad. ["I forgive you" was probably the correct response. He isn't sure that's true yet, as much as he wants everything to be back the way it was.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action friendly_fire 2015-07-17 04:45 am UTC (link)
	[She hugs him more tightly.] It wasn't fair. [And she's actually talking about the wardens now. As easily as she puts blame on herself, she'll give them a share too. They hurt so many people with this. If it had just been adding siblings and cousins that would have been one thing. She liked that part. She misses it. But this?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 02:04 pm UTC (link)
	It wasn't. [He doesn't know what he's talking about, but that doesn't lessen his conviction. He finally brings his arms up to hug her back very, very carefully.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action friendly_fire 2015-07-17 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	I would never do that. I know we're together. I want to be with you. If something like this ever happens again, please know that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. [And he thought he was done with feelings for a while, but tears are happening again.] Yesterday, I thought I'd made everything up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action friendly_fire 2015-07-17 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	[She pulls back just enough to see him at the touch of something wet against her cheek. It feels like everything inside her tightens seeing those tears.] Nathan, no, it's real. [How can she erase this. How can she make it better?] Come with me. [Plans are happening.] We'll go to the wardens and get the blue bands. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	What? Don't those mean...? [Commitment. Exclusivity. Sex, of course, but that's hardly important comparatively. She's willing to tie herself to him—only him. That's real.] You're sure? [He's sure, and he wants her to be sure too badly to suggest anything sensible like waiting until everything is less emotionally charged.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action friendly_fire 2015-07-17 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. [She reaches up to take his face gently between her hands as she looks into his eyes.] I want you—us—to both have a reminder if anything like this ever happens again that we chose each other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	action questionofwhen 2015-07-17 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	[He looks into her eyes and forgets how to breathe. She chose him. There's only one possible response to that.] I love you. [Sincerely, alarmingly. Nathan has never been in love before and he's sure that he'll never be able to love anyone but her.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action

friendly_fire
2015-07-18 12:01 am UTC (link)

[So that's what it means when your heart skips a beat. Her lips part in surprise.

She said those same words yesterday to another boy. It felt so real and so right at the time and then she woke up to all her memories and as sweet as Kanji is they've just never developed that kind of relationship.

All of this could probably make repeating it difficult.]

I love you too.

[But they slip out shockingly easy. And then she's moving to kiss him before making any kind of conscious decision to do so.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

action

questionofwhen
2015-07-18 12:31 am UTC (link)

[He can't think about yesterday when he heard her say those words to Kanji. There's no room for anything that's not now and her and how soft she is against him. His arms tighten around her, drawing her as close as possible. He's still hesitant when his lips meet hers—still holding back even though he doesn't have the presence of mind to do so consciously.

They're still not close enough.]

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action

friendly_fire
2015-07-18 12:58 am UTC (link)

[Being close just might be the best idea ever she presses in tighter as if to chase away any of the memories that shouldn't be there as she makes new ones. Unlike him there's no holding back in the way she kisses she's a physically affectionate girl. And sometimes this feels easier and clearer than finding the right words to tell him how much she cares. She's also more than a little emotionally charged this morning as she presses in to the kiss—deepening it.]

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action

questionofwhen
2015-07-18 01:19 am UTC (link)

[The only other time he has experienced anything remotely like this was when he was bleeding out. It's the same sensation of being swept away into something clearer and brighter and inescapable; it's a fear of drowning and a desire to never resurface. It's perfect. It's painful.

He whimpers into her mouth, desperate and overwhelmed but unwilling to back off. They have to keep kissing because this is the only way to say anything worth saying.]

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