InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "RAW"

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-09-29 09:40:00

Entry tags:

carol peletier, damon salvatore, data, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), nathan harris, spencer reid

Day 291 [Action:Closed] [Action:Open] [Video:Private]
[Action | Closed Reid]
[She wakes up on the floating island with the blaring and vibrating of the giant speakers below her. She can't really process the message, and as it turns out that doesn't really matter to her at the moment because everything that happened yesterday is taking on a whole new context. She threatened Reid. She threatened Reid. He looked so hurt. So did Nathan. She reaches up to call him only to remember she left her communicator by the bed. She'll just have to get there herself then. Without another moment's delay she phases, dropping right through the island and getting herself to the apartment as fast as she can.]

Reid! Nathan!? [Calling out their names as soon as she drops in through the ceiling of the kitchen as it turns out.]

[Action | Open (After the breakup)]
[Nathan is still in the hospital. Reid is...wherever he went. The apartment is all hers at the moment and she has no intention of going back there until she's too exhausted to be awake long for it. She's not sure if she wants to avoid people or be with them, so for now she's just walking without paying much attention to where that takes her.]

[Video | Private to Data]
Data? You there?

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	thisiscalm 2014-09-29 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	Did anything else happen that I should know about? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-29 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	I ran into Aidan and he said Euphie had stabbed him. I saw Ton too. [So she's worried about how he's handling today.] But, no, I spent most of the day exhausting myself trying to phase through everything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-09-29 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah... I heard about Euphie. Talked to Ton too, he didn't seem to understand who I was and why I was sending him private messages. [ Your boy was busy. ] Are you feeling okay today? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2014-09-29 09:34 pm UTC (link)

You sent him private messages?

[She looks over at him.] I woke up on the floating island, realized I'd threatened to kill the person I most love and want to protect, and heard that Nathan was in the hospital before I could even apologize or remind him how much I love him. So, you know, I've felt better. [But the pearl means she probably should be feeling a lot worse too.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-09-29 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Someone had to organize the Defence Force, with you and Jack out of commission. [ So technically he sent half the dome private messages. ] ...It's not your fault. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2014-09-29 09:44 pm UTC (link)

No, but...it was awful. [Looking at him. Eye to eye even if he'll meet hers.] I do love you. So much. I even felt bad yesterday, but I thought I was in danger. I'm sorry.

[She reaches for his hand again, though not to phase him.] Thank you for looking after the force. [She hasn't had time to check her communicator so she doesn't even know there was a message screened from her for the others.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-09-29 10:00 pm UTC (link)

[ He does meet her eyes. It's a fragile, flickering kind of glance but a glance nonetheless, lingering as long as he's able. This time he doesn't pull away his hand, even if the hold is tentative. No antlers on his head and yet he's never felt more like a gun shy deer ready to sprint. ]

You don't have to explain. I get it. [ He swallows. ] I'm just glad you didn't let go.

[ Never been afraid of her before, but now? Now he's not so sure. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-29 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	Never letting go when it comes to you. [She doesn't just mean the hairbrush. She squeezes his hand a little. She knows she could have killed him yesterday. It wasn't something she wanted to do, but it was something she was prepared to do. It didn't come that close, but it was still way too close.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-09-29 10:08 pm UTC (link)

I guess that's not always going to be up to us.

[ And after Maeve, after this it has never been more clear how fragile they really are. Before he genuinely thought that nothing could touch them and then something did and he's still struggling to regain his grip even a little. It can happen so fast, from one day to the next. She could've killed him. He could wake up tomorrow and be married with two kids.

Nothing is safe. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-30 02:30 am UTC (link)
	It's up to us today. [She rubs her thumb over his hand.] Don't spend all your time looking at the good stuff as stuff you might lose. I don't just mean us. It's no way to go through life. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-09-30 07:51 am UTC (link)
	It's not like I'm making this up in my head, Kitty. [ Quietly. ] I can't think of anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-30 10:51 pm UTC (link)
	You can't think of anything good in your life? [Are things really that bad for him?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-09-30 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	I can't think of anything good that I haven't already lost. [ So, worse. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-30 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	I'm back. I'm yours. I'll wear a "I'm with the genius" t-shirt if you want me to, Reid. And you've got the memories. Not everything lasts forever. Not everything is even supposed to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-09-30 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I do have the memories. Of... of waking up with a hairbrush in my chest or Maeve's blood on the floor or Nathan's blood on my hands. I don't care about forever. I would happily settle for a little while. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-09-30 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	...[Ouch. Come on, she's trying here.] Those things wouldn't have hurt so much if what came before them wasn't really, really good, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 12:36 pm UTC (link)
	...I don't want to talk about this right now. [ Because the answer would be no. No, what came before at least two out of those three things were the opposite of really really good and the first thing he's seriously starting to question if it's even possible to salvage anymore. Things happen so fast, lately. So often. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2014-10-01 01:07 pm UTC (link)

[It has felt like this a lot lately. Something happens—not even something either of them could control—and it's like he's slipping away or pushing her away. The last time she brought it up he sounded so angry that she'd think that, but here they are again. She feels like she's living in the constant fear of losing him, but not because of the stabilizer—because he won't fight for her.

So, congratulations, Kitty Pryde. You've learned to make friends and fall in love again and believe in a future for yourself. You're finally open enough that you can get your heart broken.]

Yeah. [A little quietly.] Yeah...we can just focus on Nathan for right now. [Probably a good thing to do. It's all fresh right now. Maybe a little time...]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-10-01 01:28 pm UTC (link)

[ She's not wrong. He tries but lately it seems like the more he does, the harder it gets. Like they're only trying to recreate something that isn't there anymore because although they've had some good times since he came back — he's never denied that — they're so few and far between. Something else happens. Something else keeps her away or him up at night and the more it builds, the harder it gets to talk about it.

Maeve didn't help. Tyki certainly didn't. This, yesterday... he's scared that might've been the straw to break the camel's back. At least in their own bed, with the door closed, lights out, he could reach and often find his way back to that feeling he had before they sent him away. It helped a little, like ointment spread on a bad burn and he figured, as long as they could have that maybe it was just a matter of holding out until it healed better.

Yesterday, he didn't even feel safe in their own bed. Today, he's starting to think he might have to come to terms with some hard truths. ]

He needs us, Kitty. This can wait. [ A little longer. They don't have to have this conversation right now. ]

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	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 02:37 pm UTC (link)
	I'm agreeing, okay? That was me agreeing. [Feeling more than a little stressed out. He said what happened yesterday wasn't her fault but she still feels like she's being punished for it. She's been feeling punished for awhile.] It's not too much further. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 02:40 pm UTC (link)
	[ That makes two of them. Pretty telling, isn't it? If this was working, they wouldn't be feeling this way. He falls silent, subconsciously lengthening his stride to get inside quicker. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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