InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "it's hard to let it go"

elena gilbert (matter) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-04-07 10:48:00

Entry tags:

charlotte charles, elena gilbert, inara serra, kitty pryde (aoa), spencer reid, zatanna zatara

( day 266 ) open video.
[ here's a semi-smiling face you haven't seen on the network for awhile. ]

I kind of feel I need a change. Is there anyone who can give me a haircut?

OOC: this is the haircut the mun has in mind.

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	video; thisiscalm 2014-04-08 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	[ Their last conversation wasn't exactly what he wanted it to be and in an effort to move on and settle back into normalcy, he's going to give this a second try. ] A haircut can make all the difference, can't it? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	video; matter 2014-04-08 02:35 pm UTC (link)
	[ she's been thinking about reid - worrying about, more like. it's a noticeable relief to actually see his face, plus she's missed him. ] Yeah, yeah it can. Makes a fresh start. [ that's something elena needs and maybe she's trying to create for herself. she wonders if that's what he needs too. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-04-08 03:20 pm UTC (link)

[ It's something he's done in the past. Maybe he needs something similar now, but it feels too much like forgetting if he'd change anything about himself. Maeve never got the chance to say what she thought about him, visually. She never will. Keeping the status quo as far as his looks go just seems appropriate. ]

It's strange, how something so small and trivial can have such a great impact on how you feel. I hope it works out for you, Elena.

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matter
2014-04-17 01:43 am UTC (link)

[ all elena has been doing is changing - it's frightening and terrible and unavoidable. this, at least, she can control. she's a different person than she was when she got here. she's spent so much time and fight on keeping her choices, her identity, at home and in here; maybe this is just another way to reclaim both. from keeping her hair straight to differentiate from katherine's (differentiate herself from katherine) to helping kill or condoning the same of so many people for the safety of her loved ones, all she's done is struggle to reclaim both.

so she gets it. small and trivial things matter, almost as much as the bigger picture. ]

I hope so too. How- how are you? Settling in?

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	thisiscalm 2014-04-17 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	Well, it's... you know. [ That's not a good answer. It's barely an answer at all. ] It's tough, being back here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	matter 2014-04-20 03:07 pm UTC (link)
	[ it might be barely, but it's honest. elena might not truly know, but she knows reid is going through something. it's that much more apparent to her in the way he answers. she bites her lip and looks down a second in deference. ] Yeah, I- I remember. Everything seemed... real and surreal at the same time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-20 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	Exactly. It's like I... like I never left and like I was never here at the same time. I don't know what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	matter 2014-04-20 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	[ elena nods. she knows exactly what he means. ] I didn't either. For awhile, I... I guess leaning on people here and... just waiting for it to get easier... Maybe a part of me still doesn't know. [ she might have adjusted to being back again as much as she ever was adjusted to being here - but she's changed and she's brought changes with her. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-21 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	[ He makes a noise. A huff of air that could've been mistaken for amused under different circumstances. ] I kind of want to lock myself up somewhere and not talk to people until it's all back to normal. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

matter
2014-04-21 11:50 pm UTC (link)

[ she lets out her own puff of air, even smiles - but it's humorless too and in commiseration. ] I usually lock myself in my room. [ well. ] I mean, I'd like to. I do - I have a journal and writing helps. But I make myself get out. You know, breathe, eat, sleep until it's not as hard anymore.

[ she's had plenty of experience. her expression drops and so does her eyes. she's recalling all that experience. ]

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	thisiscalm 2014-04-22 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	That was easier at home. I mean, it's not like it's... [ He draws a breath. ] It's not the first time. [ Not his first loss, even though none of the others ever felt as heartbreaking as this one. Emily had him grieving for ten weeks straight and this doesn't feel any easier. ] It's just hard to stay busy here, I suppose. [ Maladaptive coping strategies. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

matter
2014-05-03 04:26 am UTC (link)

[ it's not the first time. the words are heavy with implication, and elena feels a rush of empathetic and terrible understanding, of compassion. she wonders what he's truly referring to, because she knows the grief in his words intimately.

she inhales suddenly and swallows thickly. but no, it could be a million things.

and he's right, of course. life goes on at home. here there's always a sense of being trapped. stuck. ] There're only so many classes and extracurriculars a girl can take.

[ she pauses. ] Whatever happened... what happened at home- [ stops, worries her lip with her teeth. she doesn't want to assume too much. they've never been close. ] If you wanna talk about it. [ insert caring look here. ] I'm here.

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thisiscalm
2014-05-03 08:06 pm UTC (link)

[ One of these days, they really should sit down and open up their hearts to each other. They're so close already, on the verge of some kind of truth but the last firm shove is still absent. If it had been there, maybe he would've taken her up on her offer instead of hesitating and then politely declining. ]

Thank you. I appreciate it. [ A beat. ] The same goes for you, you know. If there's anything you need to talk about...

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matter
2014-05-10 08:26 pm UTC (link)

[ for a moment, during that hesitation, she thinks he might take her up on that offer. she blinks and pulls in a breath to ready herself. but the moment passes, and elena can't say she's surprised. she smiles, tucks hair behind her ear, and glances down. and she has her own moment of hesitation as well at his offer, her gaze lingering a moment too long. her troubles involve vampires and blood: things she should talk about. but not now, not with reid. still, the offer is met with warmth. ]

Thanks.

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	thisiscalm 2014-05-11 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	[ Vampires is actually a subject he's gotten pretty good at discussing over the last few months. If she wanted to unload on him, he'd actually have something to say. ] Take care, okay? And good luck with the haircut. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	matter 2014-05-18 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	[ elena would definitely have something to say about losing a loved one. soon, ok, soon. ] You too. [ with one last, parting smile for the good luck, she ends the feed. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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